What do you do if the Umpire starts asking your girl’s questions?

[quincy]

We only had a home plate umpire, no base umpire.

Ball hit to SS, went to 2nd base, runner coming from 1st was called out.

3rd base coach from the other Team started jawing at the umpire to the umpire, the umpire went a little short of the pitching circle and started yelling questions at my SS. Did you step on the base, did you tag her, basically does my SS think she was safe or out?

The umpire was not mean but for a 10U girl it was aggressive and she was confused. I was so flabbergasted I did not know what to do; maybe I do not have the mentality for this game. Anyways he changed his mind and called her safe.]

I went out to my SS and had a private conversation with her, without the other100 people being involved. Told her the umpire was a jerk, start over and tell me what happened.

A lot of people say winning or losing is not a priority, for me it is true. Our SS knows this and explained what happened, my SS thought the runner was out. I went to the umpire, did not really caring what the call was my girls know I have their backs, but he called the 1st base runner out again.

Please name the 15 or 20 things I did wrong, I was so disappointed in myself.

Above long story, but I would prefer not to have this umpire again, I can tolerate the inconsistent high strikes, the balls at the ankles that are called strikes, the random outside pitch that is called a strike. Not ideal but same for both Teams.

Is it ever acceptable for an umpire to talk to a girl about something like this? NO!

I am afraid to talk to the person in charge of the umpires, I am afraid to talk to the actual umpire after the game.

I am not complaining about Umpires in general, I have thought they were all doing the best job they could and more or less consistent for each Team.

 

[StacieM]

I think you did a pretty good job considering the situation and it was great that you went out to talk to your SS privately, then over to the umpire. But don't be afraid to talk to the umpire or if you can't, then definitely go to the person in charge of umpires and just let them know that you felt what happened in the game was out of line.

Calling the game by yourself can't be easy though and when we have games like that, I really try not to give the umpire a hard time because they can't possibly see everything that I know from the start that they WILL miss things, so I just go in with the mentality that we have to do what we have to do and leave no doubt.

Is having only one umpire the way the league normally runs or was this an unusual situation?

 

[Wookie]

Definitely talk to the umpire or the umpire coordinator. Tell them that you don't think it's appropriate for an ump to ask the players what happened, even though you understand that they are out there by themselves. Also mention that the other coach got involved. Basically, let them know what they did wrong and why.

I used to ump baseball when I was in college, for up to 15 YO. I too was the only ump on the field. The head ump gave me great advice that I use in everyday life when needed - whether you're right or wrong about the call, make it loud enough, with no hesitation and with confidence and no one will question you.

 

[playball13]

Unless you live in our area where loud, no hesitation and confidence doesn't matter neither does being correct with the call. Some people just seem to like to complain.

 

[quincy]

Thanks
This water under the bridge, you’ve convinced me to discuss with the league commissioner this weekend.

The other coach was complaining, not to loud. Would I or do I do what they did no, was I happy no, was I annoyed at the other coach, only a little bit. The umpire was the Issue.

I do not want to get the umpire in trouble but I think they were way over the line.

This team’s girls are young enough where some umpires seema to coach a little bit, which I am OK with. Different topic.

Unfortunately I do know the commissioner well enough, our conversation is going to end with him saying hum.

 

[Lozza]

You're better than me, I'd have been on that diamond so fast the umpires head would have spun.

 

[3'sDad]

During a game last season, one umpire calling the game, our team on defense. There was a close play at 1st base. Umpire called the girl out. My 1st baseman called "Time", came over and told the umpire her foot was not on the base and the runner should be safe. Blue reversed his call.

Umpire came over to me between innings and said "Coach, in my 20 years, I've never had a player over rule my call on the field.

I honestly don't remember if we won the game or not. The only person more proud of my player for being honest than me was her mother, who was there to watch the game.

Kids at 12 U and under are honest...if an adult asks them a question they give an honest answer.

 

[PAcoach]

I had something kind of similar. Only difference, the coach from the other team (who was coaching 3rd base) confronted plate umpire and dropped the F-Bomb. After like the 5th time i pulled all my players off the field and removed them from the bench. After the umpire and coach had their disscussion ( at least 5 minutes)they turned and realized we exited the field. Umpire said lets get your team on the field, i said nope, we forfiet unless this coach is removed from the game, umpire said he didn't think it was a big deal because the coach said the F word.(He actually screamed it) and the coach could stay. After what seemed like forevvvvvvvvvvver, they threw the coach out of the complex, who cursed the entire way through the parking lot. After sleeping on it for several nights, i did end up filing a report against the umpire. Ends up this guy must have had several and was forced to resign/quit.

Edit: to add this was in a 10U game.. and the following we were playing in States and the same guy was thrown out of that as well, but with his other daughters 12U team.

 

[sluggers]

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to always tell the difference."--Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five.

Please name the 15 or 20 things I did wrong, I was so disappointed in myself.

This is based upon 30+ years of coaching softball, basketball, and soccer--

Your basic mistake: You allowed the focus to change away from the kids and the game to the umpire.

A coach's job is to get the most out of her/his players. By telling the kids that this is unusual, you are distracting their attention from the game.

Umpires make mistakes. Umpires are inconsistent. Some umpires are worse than others. So what? It doesn't change how the game is played.

By doing anything about the umpire, you give your players an excuse for playing poorly. "It isn't our fault--it was the umpires! If it wasn't for the umpire, I would have caught that pop up! No use trying to win, the umpire is going to put the screws to us!"

IMHO, you should have simply ignored the umpire's actions.

Is it ever acceptable for an umpire to talk to a girl about something like this? NO

Sure...It is a game, it isn't brain surgery. No one is going to die because the umpire talked to a player.

Some of the most enjoyable games are where you are so familiar with the umpires that there is a lot of banter back and forth between the players, the umpires, and the coaches.

 

[Dave D]

"Some of the most enjoyable games are where you are so familiar with the umpires that there is a lot of banter back and forth between the players, the umpires, and the coaches. "


I couldn't agree with you more, Ray.

I came across a tourney umpire last summer who took this approach, and we all learned a couple of good lessons from it. Prior to the game, he reminded us that he was the only umpire on the field, and that he was going to do his best to call the game as he saw it. Second inning, my SS picks up a ball, reaches to tag runner coming off of second, then throws across to first for the out. Umpire calls both runners out. Other coach comes out and says she missed the tag at short. Umpire goes out to 2nd, asks SS if she tagged her. She says she's not sure, but thinks she may have missed the runner. Umpire returns runner to 2nd. One of our parents yells out, "when the umpire asks you if you tagged the runner, say YES!" Everybody laughs. I think about it for a minute, then go back to my bucket. Umpire goes back behind the plate and controls the game beautifully from there. One of my parents asks me between innings why I let the whole thing go. I said that I thought everyone involved did their best to get it right, and that I figured it wouldn't make a lot of difference in the game, anyway. (It didn't. DD struck out next 2 batters)

We talked as a team family (players and parents) after the game, and I asked the girls and their parents if they would rather be a win-at-all-costs team or a team that plays within the rules (and the spirit of those rules), and occasionally loses a game we might have otherwise won. I won't lie, there was some debate about it, from parents and kids. In the end, one of the players said that she was working hard to have INTEGRITY in all areas of her life, and that this seemed like a good place to practice it, too. That pretty much sums up the agreement we came to.

Should the umpire have asked? I'd say yes. In this situation, it was the right thing to do because it gave the girls on the field an experience that many of them lack from their own backgrounds--namely, making a call for themselves. Most of us learned to do that in the backyard, 30 or (ulp) 40 years ago, and realized that the only way to keep the game from falling apart or turning into a brawl was to be honest about what happened. Looking back on the season, the SS said it was one of the things she would remember most about the 60 games we played.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a pushover. Bad umpires HATE me. I know the rulebook inside out, and I insist that the people I'm paying to officiate do, too. I let them know that I my kids will operate within the spirit and the letter of the rules, and that I expect them to enforce those rules. I will always stand up for my kids when they are getting jobbed. My players do everything they can to win, but they won't say they got hit when they didn't, they won't say they didn't get tagged when they did, and all the other little things that happen over the course of the game/season.