To speak or not to speak?

[sluggers]

The most important thing to teach a child is how to make decisions. Part of that training (and this is going to shock some parents): *LET HER MAKE A DECISION*. She has made a decision. Perhaps you don't agree with it, but it is a rational decision. It will not damage her.

The biggest mistake a parent makes is to force the child to do what the parent wants. So, forget it, let her play rec ball, and enjoy the ride.

She might change her mind and play TB, or she might not. But, it is much better to let her do what she wants to do and you enjoy the experience.

Quick story: My youngest DD gave up softball when she was a sophomore in HS. I was heartbroken, but she wanted to play basketball. Six years later, she was holding an NCAA D3 Championship trophy for basketball.

 

[Sweet Lou]

The biggest mistake a parent makes is to force the child to do what the parent wants. So, forget it, let her play rec ball, and enjoy the ride.

^This is great advice!

She might change her mind and play TB, or she might not. But, it is much better to let her do what she wants to do and you enjoy the experience.

^This too.

And to the OP if she does change her mind later or you think she might you can always low key suggest taking some of those TB fees you are saving and investing in hitting lessons for DD, assuming she would be open to that. Though since she turned down a softball camp she may not want to jump into lessons. If she doesn't want them I wouldn't push it but as others on the have commented many times, if a player can hit the snot out of the ball, she will get noticed and playing time.

 

[SoftballDad20]

I'm not so sure I agree that 10U is too early for the girls to start playing TB (granted travel ball in Central New York might not be as competitive as some of the other areas you all are from ).

Last year was my daughter's first experience with travel ball - 10U - and I actually feel it has helped her confidence a great deal. She had a horrible tryout for the one team she tried out for but they saw enough skill that they felt they could work with her so she made the team (granted it was a very small pool of girls). She spent the entire winter working on her pitching, hitting and fielding (2-3 times a week) with no complaints. I know she really enjoyed travelling overnight 5 weekends with the girls on the team. She learned alot about gameplay and what was required to succeed in a competitive environment (granted was only 10U but it was about winning).

We had our ups and downs with the coaches as well. For example, they were told at the first tourney that none of the three pitchers would throw more than three innings in a game as this was their first real experience (she was one of the three). By the time the weekend was over, she pitched 2 innings total out of the 5 games we played and the coaches daughters pitched the rest. After the weekend was over she told us she was upset about it, but realized it for what it was - she said "coaches kids" - and she actually worked a little harder after that. In the last tourney she pitched a game and won - so she was very happy. I never really considered talking to the coaches about it because, to be honest, they thought they knew it all and were not to be questioned - so my wife and I just went along with it. My daughter didn't seem bothered by it, so we left it alone. We knew it was our first year, so we just let things play out and learned from it.

Warts aside, the experience was very rewarding for her. The benefits from it were evident after the season was over and tryouts came for the 12U team - she strolled into the tryouts as relaxed as I have ever seen her. Every other girl there was a bit tentative and nervous, and she showed none of it and performed very well. She walked through all the drills with a smile on her face and not a care in the world. I think just the experience of having been part of the 10U TB team gave her a ton of confidence in herself, so I am very glad we got her involved in 10U.

 

[Momo'sDad]

The "I might not be the right coach for her" comment troubles me. This points to a personality issue. It may be the coach, but it may not be. Take a good retrospective look at your daughters attitude, effort, and hustle over the last year. These are the most important traits that a coach can't necessarily give a kid, but are absolutely essential in order for ability to be taught.

I don't want to depart too much from the main line of discussion, but felt this point was worth responding to as our perspectives differ here quite a bit.

Assuming the coach wasn't just talking to hear herself talk with that particular comment, I don't think it points to a problem with the coachability of the kid. My thought is that the coach was speaking about her own limitations in this case. I know there are some posters here whose knee-jerk reaction will be that any coach who cannot coach a particular individual shouldn't be coaching at all, but I appreciate the honesty of a coach who attempts to do a job, but then admits they are not up to the task.

Not every coach has the ability to coach every player in the way that would most benefit her enjoyment of learning the game, which may have nothing at all to do with the child.

 

[02Crush]

@momo while this is a good point your are making I think when you consider the entire situation, the age and that this is TB there is more to it...I will admit saying "good coach" as if to assume this particular coach was bad may have been a little harsh. I will retract that. But I still feel her statement was a cop out. I know it is normally not inline with my desire to not be negative but I think this was a person more uncomfortable with conflict forthcoming and she needed to say anything to justify the decision. I have had to cut players and I tell the parent's why. I also know my personality and style are not for everyone. But when we placed players I took that into consideration and I surround myself with assistants who have different perspectives and styles so we can cover as many players personalities as possible.

 

[quincy]

It should be water under the bridge for your DD, she made her decision. She still wants to play softball but in a less stressful environment, she can play where she wants more or whatever her reasons are I can name 100 reasons. It might take a while but she will probably tell you eventually why she made her choice.

I do think the "I might not be the right coach for her" is a cop out by the Manager. I find it hard to believe the Manager believes this and that there is another reason. I would not make a federal case out of it but I try to find out why.

 

[FPMark]

I do think the "I might not be the right coach for her" is a cop out by the Manager. I find it hard to believe the Manager believes this and that there is another reason. I would not make a federal case out of it but I try to find out why.

Be careful unless you really want to know. It might not be the player the coach doesn't want.

 

[YOCOACH]

Amen screwball!!!