Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Register Log in

They don't know how good they are

Jun 6, 2016
909
43
Chicago
Today was our 13U rec league All-Star game. This league has 10U then 13U (8th graders can play even if they're 14), so it's a pretty big age range. We actually have a girl who just turned 10 last month playing on the team. She's the sister of the girl this post is about.

The game was set up with each of the five teams selecting four girls, then the girls were split so two from each squad were on the blue team, two on the red team. I made sure to coach the team with our 11-year-old pitcher because I wanted to make sure she got an inning or two in the circle. She started pitching last year, and we've put a lot of time in. She's still very much a work-in-progress, but she's starting to figure some things out.

On the other team was an 8th grader who is known as the hardest thrower/most intimidating pitcher. Awful mechanics, no control, but she does throw hard for this level. While she's warming up to pitch, my pitcher says to me "How does she throw so hard?"

I look at her and say, "You throw that hard, too." She looked at me a little confused, so I had to repeat myself. It had never occurred to her that she was on this other girl's level. She doesn't realize how good she currently is (which, admittedly, is nowhere near a finished product).

I gained a little bit of perspective here. We think they see what we see, but they don't always. From the sidelines, my pitcher sees "the fast pitcher" and thinks "how does she do that?" without realizing that she's 2-3 years younger, much less experienced, and she's already doing that!

And while process > results, our girl threw two scoreless innings, faced only seven batters. The father of one of the girls on her team today (but on a different team during the season) even came up to her to tell her how much better she's gotten since he last saw her. The other pitcher really struggled, gave up 6 runs and couldn't get through her second inning.

Edited to add: I really wish the other pitcher could get with a decent pitching coach. She actually has a ton of potential, and it kills me a little bit to see her being taught every single wrong thing.
 
Jun 10, 2010
553
28
midwest
I gained a little bit of perspective here. We think they see what we see, but they don't always. From the sidelines, my pitcher sees "the fast pitcher" and thinks "how does she do that?" without realizing that she's 2-3 years younger, much less experienced, and she's already doing that!
This is one of the most interesting aspects of working with female players. Trying to keep them from being blind with their own illusions....and trying to keep them from accepting other peoples illusions about them.
 
Oct 4, 2018
911
63
When you say this newer girl throws "as hard", what do you mean exactly?

As fast? As strong? Trying as hard?
 
Oct 4, 2018
911
63
Very interesting.

I appreciate a girl (person, really) who can admire another's skill and see it as better than theirs. Interesting phenomenon when it's not actually the case.
 

pattar

Clueless..
Jun 8, 2016
3,713
113
I appreciate a girl (person, really) who can admire another's skill and see it as better than theirs. Interesting phenomenon when it's not actually the case.
Also interesting that most parents I see lose this ability (if they had it to begin with) when it comes to their own kid...LOL
 
Oct 4, 2018
911
63
Also interesting that most parents I see lose this ability (if they had it to begin with) when it comes to their own kid...LOL
Thanks to this forum, I've read several times that after a few years in travel ball, parents learn and settle down. We have one girl who has 3 older sisters who all play travel ball. They are the best parents ever -- supportive and helpful. While they now know tons about softball, they don't coach from the bleachers and don't whine and moan to umpires.

Not sure how long I'll coach, but I do look forward to the days when the parents finally "get it" and settle down. It's amazing how blind they can be about their DD's talents. Also the lack of understanding of the game, strategy and the rules is painful.
 
Jun 6, 2016
909
43
Chicago
I appreciate a girl (person, really) who can admire another's skill and see it as better than theirs. Interesting phenomenon when it's not actually the case.
It's one thing to admire another's talent. In fact, I will point out opponents who are good (or do certain specific things I want our girls to do) and tell them to watch how she plays. It's another to not believe in your own talent. I can't tell you how many times I've said something like "Stop thinking the other team is better than you."
 

pattar

Clueless..
Jun 8, 2016
3,713
113
Thanks to this forum, I've read several times that after a few years in travel ball, parents learn and settle down. We have one girl who has 3 older sisters who all play travel ball. They are the best parents ever -- supportive and helpful. While they now know tons about softball, they don't coach from the bleachers and don't whine and moan to umpires.

Not sure how long I'll coach, but I do look forward to the days when the parents finally "get it" and settle down. It's amazing how blind they can be about their DD's talents. Also the lack of understanding of the game, strategy and the rules is painful.
Most parents will settle down as their DD moves up in age groups but it probably won't have anything to do with their ability to evaluate talent.

I would say many coaches don't know how to do that either. I was looking at the FB pages of some of the top 10U teams in the country last week at some point. All of these orgs feed into older teams which contend at PGF every year at the older age groups. Most if not all have paid, non-parent coaches. They post birthdays on these pages. 1/2 to 3/4 of the girls on these teams have early year birthdays, e.g. they all turned 11 early in the year. I guess you must have to be born early in the year to be a talented 10U TB player... :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:
May 6, 2015
1,119
63
Most parents will settle down as their DD moves up in age groups but it probably won't have anything to do with their ability to evaluate talent.

I would say many coaches don't know how to do that either. I was looking at the FB pages of some of the top 10U teams in the country last week at some point. All of these orgs feed into older teams which contend at PGF every year at the older age groups. Most if not all have paid, non-parent coaches. They post birthdays on these pages. 1/2 to 3/4 of the girls on these teams have early year birthdays, e.g. they all turned 11 early in the year. I guess you must have to be born early in the year to be a talented 10U TB player... :rolleyes:
at 10u and 12u, a lot of the standouts are simply bigger, physically stronger, etc.. DD tried out for several 12u teams last summer, got noted by several of the coaches that she was one of the most fundamentally sound 2007 girls they had seen, but they were going with other girls (ie bigger, stronger). and DD is a Feb bday.
 

Latest posts

Members online

Latest threads

Forum statistics

Threads
34,530
Messages
503,392
Members
15,941
Latest member
Ky Guy
Top