The worst team experience I've ever witnessed

[Scl1991]

My DD's coach is one of the toughest around. She demands a lot, but never more than they can give. She yells when they screw up. But as quickly as possible, she pulls them aside and Teaches them how to do it right, firmly but kindly. She taps them on their helmet and sends them back into the game.
She also yells, happily, when they do things right.
They all love her and respect her. Because they are respected.
DD played on a "great" TB team with a coach who used anger and intimidation. We stayed 3 months. Then got out.
Grabbing a face mask, at any age, crosses the line, IMO, as does name calling. Both are degrading.

 

[Scl1991]

14u. Apparently does this fairly often according to his wife to "get the girl's full attention."

If that is the only way he can get their full attention, then he is seriously lacking basic communication skills.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

If that is the only way he can get their full attention, then he is seriously lacking basic communication skills.

If you put your hand on my daughter in anger (while angry) you should prepare to defend yourself.

I am an old-school, ex military type of guy but that is a line you do not cross.

 

[glf0845]

How do you know it was effective? You simply gave an example of a coach yelling. That doesn't tell us anything.

Player told my DD that the coach had told her a few tourneys back that she needed to work on hitting to the right side with runners on first and second. That is why the coach pulled her out in the middle of an at bat and yelled. She later told my DD that she will never forget again. I'm sure Fresno State will appreciate the lesson given. I can only relay what I have seen and mental mistakes should not go unnoticed. And do not where my DD plays and most of her softball friends play. Physical errors are handled differently. DD's coach is not a constant yeller so when he does it means something.

 

[29dad]

If you put your hand on my daughter in anger (while angry) you should prepare to defend yourself.

I am an old-school, ex military type of guy but that is a line you do not cross.

We'll probably be accused of being too macho, but I couldn't agree more. I have no problem with a coach yelling at my daughter from time to time (as long as it's not abusive), but grabbing her face mask? Never in a million years. IM where do you find these coaches???

 

[Atlantabell]

My DD's coach is one of the toughest around. She demands a lot, but never more than they can give. She yells when they screw up. But as quickly as possible, she pulls them aside and Teaches them how to do it right, firmly but kindly. She taps them on their helmet and sends them back into the game.
She also yells, happily, when they do things right.
They all love her and respect her. Because they are respected.
DD played on a "great" TB team with a coach who used anger and intimidation. We stayed 3 months. Then got out.
Grabbing a face mask, at any age, crosses the line, IMO, as does name calling. Both are degrading.

Agree on all points. I will say that there is yelling and then there is YELLING. I agree with some others, grabbing the face mask, name calling, etc. crosses the line. A coach needs to know how to motivate, and while anger and intimidation may work for a little bit, it ultimately doesn't.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Player told my DD that the coach had told her a few tourneys back that she needed to work on hitting to the right side with runners on first and second. That is why the coach pulled her out in the middle of an at bat and yelled. She later told my DD that she will never forget again. I'm sure Fresno State will appreciate the lesson given. I can only relay what I have seen and mental mistakes should not go unnoticed. And do not where my DD plays and most of her softball friends play. Physical errors are handled differently. DD's coach is not a constant yeller so when he does it means something.

I hear you, but you still can't measure the value of yelling in your story. She might've learned the lesson just as easily if the coach had pulled her in the middle of the at-bat, which sends a pretty strong message in itself, and told her why without yelling. There's no proof that yelling was the key teaching aid there.

And I'm not saying it's terrible any time that a coach yells, and I'm not criticizing the coach in your example. In certain contexts, I'm sure it's fine, and probably was in this case. I just don't think the conclusion that ''it works'' means much. Lots of things work to teach lessons, but do they come at a cost?

 

[pitchmom]

You need to watch "Dance Mom's" and listen to the teacher/dance studio owner berate all her students.......

"Save your tears for your pillow"
"Everyone is replacable"
"Don't let the door hit ya on the way out"
"It's MY reputation on the line"


Love that show

 

[guero_gordo]

Subtract 20m, and make the HC's wife nowhere to be found, and that's every Sunday with DD's previous team.
8 months of that, and oddly enough the coach never made a mistake.

 

[iMlearning]

We'll probably be accused of being too macho, but I couldn't agree more. I have no problem with a coach yelling at my daughter from time to time (as long as it's not abusive), but grabbing her face mask? Never in a million years. IM where do you find these coaches???

We seem to have a lack of good coaching in our area. I asked my DD about it again, and she said she was fine and didn't feel threatened and was more upset about running sprints in the rain. I've seen coaches at football grab maskes several times even at middle school age here. I don't agree with it, and it was hard not to jump out of my seat, but again, I watched closely as did everyone else.