Should goal be college?

[JudeDaRude]

Should you be thinking about and preparing for your daughters’ college years? ABSOLUTELY!

Start a college fund and save money.
Work on study skills.
Teach them good ethics and responsibility.

Not all kids will go to - or NEED to go to - college. But you should definitely be preparing.

Now about softball ... what the heck is wrong with you!?
No, you should not be preparing a 9 year old to be a college athlete. Here is the secret: just about any kid who wants to play a sport in college CAN play that sport in college. There are enough schools that you can play if you are willing to go anywhere.

I had two daughters play sports in college.

The first played soccer. She was a mediocre student who had never played soccer until her junior year in high school. She was a volleyball player. She was convinced she was going to play volleyball in college. Then she had a bad experience her senior year in high school with a new coach and had no desire to keep playing. The soccer coach convinced her to come out for fun. Her last game of her senior year, a college coach was a third the game and offered her a 1/2 ride to a D1 junior college.

The second was a very good student and a damn good athlete. She played both softball and volleyball at a D3 school she chose for academics. After two years she was burned out and came back home. She will be going to the local junior college this year, coaching freshman volleyball at a local high school, and not playing anything.

Let them play ... don’t make them play. Don’t make it a job that they are doing for money.

So because you are thinking of college and the girl says she wants to play college, you’re making them play? I didn’t know I was making them play.

 

[_MIA_]

So because you are thinking of college and the girl says she wants to play college, you’re making them play? I didn’t know I was making them play.

Very nice selective reading. There are people here who have been through the journey of having their kid play in college so you can choose to listen or not. Up to you.

Last thing from me about this and this is going to sound harsh but so be it. There is a whole wide world of softball out there beyond your town/region and your 9YO kid probably is not nearly as good as you think she is.

 

[JudeDaRude]

Very nice selective reading. There are people here who have been through the journey of having their kid play in college you choose to listen or not.

Last thing from me about this and this is going to sound harsh but so be it. There is a whole wide world of softball out there beyond your town/region and your 9YO kid probably is not nearly as good as you think she is.

Probably

 

[erniekru]

Softball is not rocket science, you absolutely get out what you put in. Here's the rub... If you work with your daughter a lot, get good coaching and are on a team that is a good balance between harsh competition and treating them like adults, holding them responsible, etc they will have the ability to play college softball. However, the above process burns lots of kids out... happens in 14u from what I've seen. If you keep the game all easy peasy and fun with no pressure, that can lead to kids falling behind their peers and can lead to quitting the game. Neither is the right way or the wrong way.

My plan is to keep doing what my DD and I do, which is work hard, compete harder, and enjoy the stuff around the games/practices. Some of the most fun is listening to music in the car, getting Acai bowls after tough workouts, etc. I heard a great (at least to me) quote:

"It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit."

 

[JudeDaRude]

Softball is not rocket science, you absolutely get out what you put in. Here's the rub... If you work with your daughter a lot, get good coaching and are on a team that is a good balance between harsh competition and treating them like adults, holding them responsible, etc they will have the ability to play college softball. However, the above process burns lots of kids out... happens in 14u from what I've seen. If you keep the game all easy peasy and fun with no pressure, that can lead to kids falling behind their peers and can lead to quitting the game. Neither is the right way or the wrong way.

My plan is to keep doing what my DD and I do, which is work hard, compete harder, and enjoy the stuff around the games/practices. Some of the most fun is listening to music in the car, getting Acai bowls after tough workouts, etc. I heard a great (at least to me) quote:

"It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit."

I agree and I think people are acting as if I’m sitting here making college recruit videos, putting her out like that in other ways, etc. I will always teach my daughters to dream big. I have one that wants to be a chef, one that wants to be a veterinarian, and one that wants to be a doctor. I tell them then that is what they are going to be. If they change their mind, then that’s ok and she’ll be expected to be whatever she chooses. I learned from my own life that you can do just about anything (within reason) you want to do. You just can’t be negative, you can’t listen to people tell you that you can’t do something, and you got to earn it. It is their dream of being a college player but that could change, and then we will head in another direction. My job is to help them in many different ways. Work ethic, fun along the way, then the coaching part itself, and dealing with failure. My oldest daughter was first one that got into softball, and she was good but it come to a point that she didn’t like it. She just had interest in other things so I’m fine with that. But my next two love it and want to play all time. I know the difference

 

[The Man In Blue]

So because you are thinking of college and the girl says she wants to play college, you’re making them play? I didn’t know I was making them play.

Moving on to the next thread. You were looking for affirmation, not answers.

Good luck and enjoy the years you have with your daughters. They end all too soon.

 

[InsidePitch]

You work towards making your DD the best she can be based on her level of interest.

 

[collinspc]

I would suggest that the goal be play ball, have fun and be the best players they can be. If they want to play in college, then you can focus on the contacting and marketing in HS. My daughter didn't want to play in college until her last tournament. A college coach was there to see another young lady on our team and noticed my DD. Told the head coach to have her give him a call. Now she is thinking she might want to play college ball. Ultimately it is your daughters decision.

 

[BobInMadison]

My first 3 kids are either in college or have graduated.

DS was a so-so rower on a very good rowing club. Some of the guys he rowed with in HS went to college on top-notch teams. One of his HS teammates was MVP on the world championship USA U23 world record holding team. My DS was a mid level rower and rowed with one of the best D3 teams in the country. He went to the D1 college national championships twice, beating some good D1 teams in the process. One summer he got to row with a top D1 team.

His secret? Two hours of team practice every day plus 2 more hours alone in the gym. Every day for 4 years of college.

Does that sound like fun? It was for him. He still rows competitively after college. Because it is fun for him.

People told me my DD 1 was an exceptionally talented softball player and a possible D-1 prospect. She quit softball after 3 years. She played for fun, and when she went from 12u Rec to 16u. TB in one year, she was burned out. Instead, she got an academic scholarship to her first choice college.

Similarly her boyfriend is the son of a pro athlete. He could’ve gotten a basketball scholarship, but he got an academic scholarship to his first choice college (the same one my DD 1 attends). OTOH his younger brother really wanted to play college ball, and got a D-1 scholarship.

The moral of the story?

All 4 of them, the 2 siblings who did college sports and the 2 siblings who didn’t, made the choice that made them happy. All 4 were winners in different ways. Two of them loved the idea of spending hours every day practicing a sport they loved. Two of them did not.

 

[Rule#6]

You are going to suck the joy out of the sport for your girls if you want it more than they do. And from the sounds of, it you do want it more than them.

Just let them play and have fun and don't ride them about getting better/college. You will wreck the fun.