Playing in College- DD's disappointment

[YOCOACH]

Good points, however BYU is a private school. A lot of NAIA schools have religious affiliations and some enforce stricter rules upon their students. Even so, some students survive by staying under the radar.

I agree with OP's suggestions about checking with current and former players, however it isn't foolproof. Teams evolve as players graduate/leave and new players come in, so it's really hard to say what it will be like years in advance or for your entire tenure there.

Plus there's no guarantee that the HC will be there the entire 4 years either. If they are replaced with a more lenient coach or more prone to a blind eye towards this type of behavior, well........

ETA: A thanks to Disappointed for the information. I hope everything works out for you and your DD. As for mine, I will take tyour advice since we are in the process now.

 

[disappointed]

DD does not expect to go to a school or team with no drinking, just one where she can find some teammates who have some academic goals and who want to do some other social activities beyond boozing. DD doesn't mind the occasional drinking and probably will drink socially when she turns 21, she's just overwhelmed by the binge drinking on the team. There are other more sinister things afloat on the team which I didn't share but which makes DD just want to get out.

Like Rubberbiscuit's DD, she wants to find a place where her talents are appreciated and where her teammates support each other academically. Right now she gets made fun of because she studies a lot and gets good grades.

As things unfold in the next few weeks I will post some updates because I know these are things that will help others. We are all in this together!

 

[SoCalASABlue]

For those that are in the process, I highly recommend your DD take advantage of an overnight stay with a team member if offered. That's how my DD figured out which school NOT to go to. Despite the fact that there were multiple high school age potential signees, team members took the HS kids to a men's dorm party - after stopping at the liquor store for a gallon of vodka. The team players didn't give a hoot in hell about the impression they were making.

 

[Greenmonsters]

For those that are in the process, I highly recommend your DD take advantage of an overnight stay with a team member if offered. That's how my DD figured out which school NOT to go to. Despite the fact that there were multiple high school age potential signees, team members took the HS kids to a men's dorm party - after stopping at the liquor store for a gallon of vodka. The team players didn't give a hoot in hell about the impression they were making.

^^^^^Very good advice. OP's DD's first year grades will be a big help facilitating a transfer. To avoid a repeat situation, I'd try starting the potential transfer school list by prioritizing DD's academic interests and school academic reputation ahead of softball and see where that leads. It also might be wise to consider D3 schools. Although there aren't athletic scholarships and the level of play generally may not be quite as high, softball is still taken seriously and the academic-athletic balance/overall experience may be more appealing to some.

 

[coach james]

Sounds like a D3 is a better fit for her. Not for lack of skill, but the fact that D3's are accidemics first and athletics second. A Christian, dry campus may be the solution. She'll be more likely to find teammates with simular intrests.
Good luck, James

 

[PA SB Dad]

While I do feel badly for the OP's DD, I have to wonder if some of the disappointment isn't a natural outgrowth from the unrealistic expectations developed in travel ball. In TB, parents can create a softball utopia for their DD by finding the "perfect" team with "perfect" teammates. If the team or the coach is not a good fit, you can leave and find another utopian softball paradise. HS coach is an idiot? Run track since HS ball will not get you recruited anyway. So what happens in college? Everything is not unicorns and rainbows, but leaving is a MUCH bigger deal.

I'm not saying this is unique to softball. Up to 20% of college freshman do not return for their sophomore year at the school they started with. But I'm just wondering how much TB is contributing to these cases in college SB.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Some things can't be avoided in softball and basketball, when the girls are adults. What about a CC for one year, while she gets a chance to look around?

 

[Coach JV]

Small D1 and D3 are driven by academics in the majority of schools. When my DD was on the recruiting tour
her college advising office steered her away from the D2 circuit. It hurt the wallet but she has committed to a D3
that we are excited about as a family. If your DD is a very good student, look into D3 or PM me for suggestions
if you are on the East Coast. I have a pretty good network of coaches and program reputations established from coaching
showcase teams for the last few years

 

[RubberBiscuit]

OILF - I love your enthusiam for principles, etc. But in the real world, where there is one "academic-performer" on a team, it appears they will get ostracized. The group of "like-chickens" will peck the heck out of the unique chicken..... Then if this bullying behavior is supported/ignored by the coaching staff do you think it would be healthy for the smart chicken to raise the red flag in the school ESPECIALLY when the smart chicken needs to get released and supported through a transfer...? Ya, don't think so.....

Coach JV - Not saying you are intentionally making the categorical statement about small D1 and D3 but that's wrong. I can tell ya first hand. Then I hear too many dedicated softball players going to D3 only to be confronted by players & organizations there that would choose not to play on a given day if they had a hangnail..... What dedicated SB player wants to be confronted with rec-ball attitudes in college..?

SCAB - I like your intentions too but will one "salesy" overnight really expose an environment that does not support a sports AND scolastic performing young lady?


I am starting to think that maybe ya need to, just like with contractors, ya need to ask for or find references on girls that went through the program and interview them.

 

[sleepwalker]

She needs to find a new home that will respect the good grades in tough majors AND will also acknowledge and use the special strengths she has and wont try to reinvent her into just another dime-a-dozen-plain-Jane dropball pitcher.

RB -

Interesting quote here. My dd's freshman year of pitching saw these same struggles early on. My dd shook off several dropballs called from the dugout, and as a result got benched for a few games. After she figured out that the coach wanted several dropballs thrown in a row, her pitching time increased to starting every other game and she appeared in 30+ games. As the season progressed, she was allowed to sneak in other pitches that allowed her to increase her strikeout numbers as the year progressed. Ultimately, she had to figure out for herself, that in order for her to pitch at the college that she chose to attend, she had to pitch the pitches that were called from the dugout.

As to the OP, my dd got lucky that she, and her entire team, had to attend mandatory study hall. My dd was also allowed acess to tutors, if requested. My dd's coach had a drug testing program that the team participated in and had a zero tolerance to illegal drugs and alcohol, which he let every recruit know before offering a scholarship or tryout.

My introvert dd had an advantage to many of the girls on her softball team, she had a vehicle on campus. It was amazing how many girls would talk to my dd when they needed a ride to the store or to the fast food restaurants. Luckily, gas prices were down this year, so it didn't hurt too much providing her extra money for gas.

I do get joy watching my dd smile and bond on the softball field. My dd struggled early on with her pitching identity and had to make a choice, to adapt or stay head strong and do it her way, and try to play at a different school next year.