Pitching Parents

[TheStrike3yourout]

I think a lot of time people who say "6 pitchers" probably mean 3 who are "pitchers" and maybe 3 who "can pitch".

I like 2 stud pitchers, and 1 good pitcher who plays field position mostly. And maybe I've been lucky to have such. It has helped out with this formula not only for the pitchers, but also keeps the parents happy.

I do try to communicate. Look, I'm not a magician nor do I have a crystal ball. But I do believe if I express my "ideas or theories" so the girls understand the plan of a game or tournament that egos simmer down.

" I'm pitching you this game because of your curve, this team doesn't hit outside well "

" I'm pitching you this game because this team is aggressive and you mix speeds and spots well. "

" I'm pitching you this game because this team hits speed, you have less heat but a great knee buckling change up ".

Etc.............

This is a smart plan; I couple your strategy with statistics because numbers don't lie. In addition, I always post "the numbers" with coaching recaps for players and parents to see post games/tournaments. I think it's always better to be proactive and discuss these things with players and parents than to simply "assume" they know why you are doing what you're doing.

I know, as a coach, one shouldn't have to "justify" the moves one makes, but by being as transparent and openly honest as possible, it always seems to "simmer down those aforementioned egos."

And when you can relate those numbers to precise situational instances, it's tough for a rail bird to publicly disagree with you (because we all know no matter what a coach does, even if he/she is successful in a move, people will always agree to disagree...and that's ok).

 

[TheStrike3yourout]

As a former pitcher, not being told when you are going to pitch is really awful. Would not fly in baseball.

I can understand being ready to relieve or close or your non-start games (w/o much notice), but I don't like all this mystery of when the starter will start and why "my kid did not get to pitch today or in this game at all."

Yes, the kids can be told when they will start and conversely, why they did not start (in a positive but honest way as going deep says). How else can they improve? But warm ups are for the catchers and pitchers to decide what is working. I don't really check on them. I have seen them regularly pitch in games and practice and have some idea how they will do.

Screwball is totally right. The mental aspects of pitching are so demanding that starting pitchers for both baseball and softball need time to mentally and emotionally prepare for games, even when they are young (might be even more important the younger they are). And the stress of "not knowing" in reference to when and if one is pitching or why one is not won't only take a toll on the pitcher him/herself but on the team as a whole once that pitcher is transplanted into the game. Honest transparency will go a long way, plus it will eradicate parental "what ifs" too.

And yes, a player's willingness to "throw in a pinch" is always important, but we as coaches need to eliminate the "mysterious nuances" of not letting our kids know who is going on the bump/in the circle reasonably in advance. I really agree with Screwball's comments over this.

In tournament play, I always like to explain all the "what ifs" to my players ahead of time so they will likely know the situations they'll be called on. I ALWAYS remind them to share what I've said with their parents (and I have an assistant coach who might also be a parent present to witness) telling them I don't want your parents coming to ask me why you didn't throw. Does this always work, of course not, but it works more often than not which is better than .500 (which is an All World average in this game).

 

[Momo'sDad]

Just because a girl pitched great yesterday doesn't mean she can't be off today. You like the individual centerpiece aspect of being a pitcher and that is cool. As a competitor, you *should* want to be out there all the time and it is that hunger that made you a success. I don't want to diminish the importance of that for these young girls. At the same time, though, it's still a team game and I think it's great when they are able to rely on one another this way, especially when it comes to getting favorable matchups or effectively managing must-win games.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Strike3, I love the hypothetical world, and for league/season play, there's no disagreement with your overall method. Even for tournament pool play, it's fine. Winning is always great, but we targeted 2 main events for this summer with plans to make deep Sunday runs and that roadmap you laid out goes out the window for them. In fact, one of them is straight double-elimination with pitching limits so our #1 has go to in Game 1 and the outcome of that game dictates what we'll do from there.

Be ready to go when called. I don't watch many 16u or 18u games, but the successful 10u-14u pitchers out here are the ones who can answer without hesitation. She can approach her mental prep however she wants, but the pitcher has a job to do when Coach puts her in. You can have the opinion, but you're mistaken in saying every pitcher's mental prep is the same or even similar.

As for parents, it's difficult to keep them all happy no matter how much in the loop they are.

With respect to stats, parents are encouraged to keep their own books, but this team does team stats only. Fall team will publish individual, but the goals of that team are different from the summer team. This summer, no one is bigger than the team and I LOVE our coach's leadership style. Even though not every parent has bought in, the players have, and that's why they're playing so hard for one another.

 

[chinamigarden]

Whats the old pitcher's parent saying about the number of pitchers a team needs.

1 pitcher is not enough and 2 is too many.

 

[TheStrike3yourout]

Strike3, I love the hypothetical world, and for league/season play, there's no disagreement with your overall method. Even for tournament pool play, it's fine. Winning is always great, but we targeted 2 main events for this summer with plans to make deep Sunday runs and that roadmap you laid out goes out the window for them. In fact, one of them is straight double-elimination with pitching limits so our #1 has go to in Game 1 and the outcome of that game dictates what we'll do from there.

Be ready to go when called. I don't watch many 16u or 18u games, but the successful 10u-14u pitchers out here are the ones who can answer without hesitation. She can approach her mental prep however she wants, but the pitcher has a job to do when Coach puts her in. You can have the opinion, but you're mistaken in saying every pitcher's mental prep is the same or even similar.

As for parents, it's difficult to keep them all happy no matter how much in the loop they are.

With respect to stats, parents are encouraged to keep their own books, but this team does team stats only. Fall team will publish individual, but the goals of that team are different from the summer team. This summer, no one is bigger than the team and I LOVE our coach's leadership style. Even though not every parent has bought in, the players have, and that's why they're playing so hard for one another.

Yeah, that's tough when it comes to pitching limits...that's something I don't have to deal with.

I agree with you that every pitcher should be ready to pitch all the time, but I personally think it's important to get these older girls on a schedule. My last pitcher (threw 90% of our spring season and going to DePaul on a full ride) was by no means a prima donna, but in getting her mentally prepared to throw (especially with the likes of college coaches Carol Hutchins, Bonnie Tholl, Eugene Lenti, etc., coming to watch her) I personally wanted to keep her in the loop as much as possible.

Her back-up (who is only 14 and played for the Oak Park Windmills 14U travel team that earned 2nd in nation) is another sweet kid who is not a prima donna either, but whenever I threw her into a game on a whim she struggled...when she knew she was going to pitch she always did a lot better.

Honestly, none of my kids this last season, with the exception of my SS (going to Eastern Illinois on full ride) and my #1 (DePaul) could mentally handle being thrown into the "meat and potatos" of a game at full throttle. Guess that's something I should work on from my end.

Yes, I mispoke when I alluded to every pitcher having the SAME mental approach...I should've said the majority of pitchers I've dealt with. And with the exception of my DePaul girl and my upcoming #1, they have ALL been prima donnas (and their parents "pitchers' parents" too).

That's great that your coach is coaching the kids up in regard to being ready to throw every day, when needed, in a pinch. I can only hope that his/her philosophy stays firm with those young pitchers as they grow older.

That's a great philosophy for keeping only Team Stats, but as these kids age that will go out the window. And honestly, that HAS to happen. This is why:

Travel Ball in the upper ages (16U and 18U) should be used as a tool for getting kids exposure for college. If a kid doesn't want college exposure, he/she should play house league. One way to ensure that is by keeping, posting, and sharing credible statistics. Numbers don't lie, and the more stats that can be compared on a player between travel and high school ball the better. College coaches can then detect patterns and strengths in those aforementioned numbers. I'm not saying that I don't agree with your current team's philosophy...I personally think that's great because many of these kids are just now beginning to realize if softball is going to be part of their quality worlds in the future. But with that said, stats shouldn't be poo-pooed as kids age. They are a necessary monster, and you will see as your DD ages that she is going to want to see them too. If stats are done right, they can serve as a great learning tool for setting realistic benchmarks and assessing progress.

With all that being said, as a coach the two offensive stats that mean the most to me collectively are slugging percentage and on-base percentage...and I have a sneaky suspicion that these two team stats are probably your DD's coach's favorite too.

 

[starsnuffer]

I tell my oldest (a pitcher) this. I think my perspective comes from being a coach for so long before being a parent (I don't believe in coaching my own kids after 12yo):

"I understand that you want her spot and that you believe you should pitch and not that other kid. I am here to tell you that life is not fair. Being just a little bit better is NOT good enough in the real world. Work hard until you are TWICE as good as the kid you want to replace, and then no one will have any doubt in their mind that the spot should be yours. Set your goals higher and work harder."

Parents should obey the three L's of being a pitcher's parent. Lawn chair - left field - lemonade. If the lemonade doesn't taste like blood from biting your tongue, you're doing it wrong.

-W

 

[JNew0872]

I am a former pitcher and the mom of a pitcher. My parents never expected me to have circle time. When I would play all stars, I served as a relief pitcher. I would have liked to have pitched more but I had another job to do. So instead of pouting and bringing my team down, I did my other job. My parents never sulked in the stands. My dad taught me that I was to step up and play my best where ever the coach felt I was needed that day. Since that was his philosophy, it became mine and I think it was a great life lesson because that's life. Now with my daughter (12u) starting pitching, I am passing that down to her. I rotated her throughout the season in the circle. I explained to her that sometimes it would be tied to her performance (everyone has good days and bad days & the bad days did not make her a bad pitcher but a normal one especially at age 11), sometimes just a matter of sharing the circle, and other times strategy. I only had to remove her from the circle during an inning once. When I removed her, she handed the ball to the other pitcher and said, "Go get 'em." In between innings, she would tell other pitcher great job and hi-five her. Other lady I coach with (her daughter pitches, too) doesn't like her daughter relieved ever because she believes it screws up her confidence. My opinion is it screws up her daughter's confidence because her mom believes being relieved indicates failure. Our children behave how we behave or to the extent we condone and often believe what we believe. Perfect example of this was in all stars (we just finished). Other team in our league played 15 games. Pitcher on that team pitched every game except one. So on the all star team, that was her expectation - to pitch every game/every inning and it was also her parent's expectation. She pitched entire first game. You could see her tiring during the 5th, throwing slower, and walking batters (it was 90 degrees out) but instead of making pitching change, coach kept her in like he had all season and they went from a 3 to 0 lead going into the 6th to losing the game 6 to 3. Second game that pitcher pitched again. You could see her tiring during the 5th again (slower pitches & walking batters) (again 90 degrees out). We were up 2 to 7 and other team ends up scoring 5 runs to tie the game (no errors but hard hits with a lot to gaps in outfield coupled with the walks). Now the coach decides to bring my daughter in. It is 2 outs, tie score with winning run on 3b. That pitcher had not been removed from the circle all season so she was mad. She rolled her eyes and then instead of handing the ball to my daughter, she dropped it at her feet and stomped off to her position and stood there with her arms folded. they ended up going 8 innings and winning 15 to 8. Other pitcher never said one word to my daughter and other pitcher's mom was quiet in the stands (usually totally loud and obnoxious). Next game, coach puts my daughter in the circle to start for the must win game (if loose, they are done). Other pitcher is mad. Won't talk to my daughter and is telling everyone that she can't believe she is not pitching. When announcer announced girls names and their positions, pitcher's mom looked like she was going to come unglued and didn't clap for my daughter but cheered loudly and obnoxiously for everyone else. Whole team was thrown off by the tension caused by the other pitcher's behavior so they made error after error after error in the first inning leading to 5 runs (no big hits - just infield grounders and pop ups). My daughter pitched 5 innings, walked only one batter, struck out 5, innings 2, 3 & 4 were three up/three down and 5th inning was 4 up/3 down. After that first inning, the other team didn't score another run. Other pitcher, pitched 6th inning. When she stepped into the circle, she yelled, "Ok guys. I'm back. Let's fix this. Infield go one. Outfield go two." Unfortunately they lost because of that first inning but it was sad because other pitcher never said one word to my daughter and the mom told everyone good game afterwards except my daughter. I would have been embarrassed to behave as this mom did and embarrassed if my daughter behaved as her daughter did. Softball is a team sport and we as parents have to understand that and we have to teach that to our pitching daughters.

 

[Dana Marque]

Yes - pitcher parents are NUTS!!! I'm included in that statement!!! My daughter works her butt off all year on her pitches, speed, and specifically her mechanics.. She's trained to do whatever she can for her team... Currently, my DD is the only pitcher for our town TB 12U team due to an unfortunate incident to the other pitcher. Originally, several parents did not want my daughter to make the 12U team because she still qualifies for 10U. After seeing her pitch and holding her own, they have all complimented my dd and have agreed this is where she belongs. I have been a little cranky with parents when they start telling me it's too much for my daughter.. No - it's not... this is what she trains for... Yes - it would be nice to have the other (TRAINED) pitcher back on the mound as they would totally compliment each other... One is faster but a little wilder and mine who is a bit slower but has more movement and more accurate. But since we don't have that option at the moment, there is no reason to throw my daughter off the mound when she is doing just fine and striking girls out... We have an agreement with my daughter - she is to speak up if she is tired, feels as though her mechanics are being jeaporidized, or if anything hurts... Until then, she can stay on the mound... I also don't like when they put in her outfield... not because I don't think outfield is extremely important but because I don't want her trying to throw too hard and hurt herself. I rather she either play first or sit the bench... but I'm not a softball player - just a mom... I could be totally off base... And feel free to criticize me... But don't tell me to take my daughter off the mound for a rec pitcher to come in and walk girls in the middle of a tournament... NO WAY!! My daughter would flip out.. I would flip out!!! And honestly, I felt as though guy that said this to me was judgment me as a parent. I only snapped after he made these comments to other parents... Let us as parents decide what our child can handle... We love her very much and won't let anything happen to her...

 

[Sparky Guy]

When she stepped into the circle, she yelled, "Ok guys. I'm back. Let's fix this. Infield go one. Outfield go two." Unfortunately they lost because of that first inning but it was sad because other pitcher never said one word to my daughter and the mom told everyone good game afterwards except my daughter. I would have been embarrassed to behave as this mom did and embarrassed if my daughter behaved as her daughter did.

This sounds like the classic "Big Fish, Little Pond" mentality coupled with a coach who does not have control of the team or this pitcher and her mom. If I had a kid who dropped the ball at the feet of the girl who was replacing her I would nail her butt to the bench until she and her mother learned what a team is about.

Keep working your daughter and give her the opportunity to be the best she can.