Performance anxiety

[Nimrod]

I wonder if anyone here has had a child, or who coached a player, who had real bad performance anxiety.

My daughter is struggling with it right now. High school season just started, and she says she feels nauseous during the game and cannot relax. She’s not playing particularly well, and her struggles are compounding the problem. She's really not enjoying it at the moment.

Also know that this isn't a beginner. She's actually committed to play in college. That's part of the problem. She feels a lot of pressure to live up to the expectations. It’s teachers, classmates, teammates in high school. Her college coach, everybody. Afraid to let anybody down.

But also understand that this isn't just typical nerves, and it's not really about softball. If not softball, it would play out in something else she cared about. It's the way she's wired. It's probably genetic. Her mother was a good track athlete in college, and she used to be the same way at meets. She outgrew as an adult through a lot of work and courage. Her grandfather had severe social anxiety and never really worked past it.

Also know that you wouldn't know this about her just to watch her. You might think she's quieter than most, but she makes and keeps friends, and she does things like sing in a talent show or act in a play, all on her own accord. She went to the school formal last weekend. She's active in classes. It's just more difficult for her than most.

Any thoughts? Experiences?

 

[quincy]

I know some of the best athletes in the world throw up before games because of nerves, nothing I see wrong with that.

DD can get really tied up, her teammates made an effort to talk to her. I do not think they are talking about SB most the time.

She snapped thier heads off the first couple times, persistent teammates got her to settle a little bit anyways.

 

[Nimrod]

I know some of the best athletes in the world throw up before games because of nerves, nothing I see wrong with that.

DD can get really tied up, her teammates made an effort to talk to her. I do not think they are talking about SB most the time.

She snapped thier heads off the first couple times, persistent teammates got her to settle a little bit anyways.

Thanks quincy. I do think that support of teammates can be helpful, or even just one teammate who understands. But I also want to stress that it's not just a case of heightened pregame jitters. She was nauseous before and during the game. Afterward she crashed into being very sad about it. Woke up this morning still sad. It's pretty hard to read back over what I just wrote. It sounds awful. She's been successful in this sport and most things she's done, and she's a great kid with lots going for her, but situations like this remind me that she has some social anxiety challenges that crop up that can be a challenge for her.

 

[grcsftbll]

My dd (10U) is calm ON the field but has a stomach ache before every single first game of the day. Once she gets going, she's fine. But in the morning on the way to the game and getting ready to play she's nervous. I'm not even sure she realizes it's nerves but I can definitely tell.

 

[cuzmail]

My DD has the same type of anxiety on the school swim team. Crazy nerves and nausea at the meets. It was really bad at the larger meets. I didn't understand it. She didn't want to deal with it anymore. Great team chemistry and a lot of softball players on the swim team.

Top level softball = no problem. Swimming = basket case. Go figure?

She was a raw talent with lots of speed and potential, but no formality with the different strokes. I wanted to see what she could do with a little training. The swim coach pleaded with her to rejoin the team this year, but DD couldn't be persuaded.

 

[Nimrod]

Top level softball = no problem. Swimming = basket case. Go figure?

That's interesting. I wonder if it was individual sport versus team sport thing. Mine last night in a moment of dispair said she wanted to quit softball but she knows it's not softball. If she quit and did something else that she cared about, it would flare up there. And she loves softball. So I don't know.

She's not normally this bad but there's something about the high school situation bringing it out. She's more concerned about what her school people think of her than her travel teammates.

 

[cuzmail]

That's interesting. I wonder if it was individual sport versus team sport thing.

Possibly? I wonder myself. She swam individually and on relay teams.
What throws that off is she's a pitcher. Yes on a team, but all eyes are on the pitcher each play almost as an individual.

 

[quincy]

DD was having trouble with little loopers. Since she is my experiment. ..

I hit balls at her 100 MPH, perfect.
High fly balls, perfect.
Loopers, 50/50

 

[sbmom19]

Has she had anxiety issues before or is this a new development? I ask because my DS has an anxiety disorder. Looking back, I can recognize some symptoms that he had during high school but it really manifested itself when he got to college and he had that added stress of harder classes (that were being paid for by an academic scholarship that he didn't want to lose) along with homesickness from being 7 hours from home. He had full blown panic attacks until he sat down with the school psychologist and learned how to deal with the extra pressure with meditation and other relaxation techniques including playing his guitar. She might benefit from talking to a sports psychologist who could teacher her some relaxation techniques. I wish that we would have recognized my DS's beginning symptoms so that he didn't have to go through it alone 7 hours away.

 

[Nimrod]

Has she had anxiety issues before or is this a new development? I ask because my DS has an anxiety disorder.

Yes, and thank you for your post.

She's a high functioning kid with friends and all that, so I don't want people to get the wrong idea of what an anxiety disorder might look like, but yes she's had anxiety issues before. I'll PM you with a couple of examples. She's never had a full-blown panic attack, but I do think she has what could be called an anxiety disorder that as I indicated before might be genetic.