Parents

[1999Coach]

We are what I consider a AA or a high B team. We have/had a set of parents who were continuously giving instruction to the players on the the field. As a coach I didn't hear most of it but I had some complaints from other parents about this so I addressed it in a team meeting and did not direct it toward anyone but toward all parents. I told them that no instruction or coaching was to be given by parents during games or practice, it got better, according to the other parents on the team. At our last tournament during an elimination game I had several players come to and complain about the same parents giving instruction and scolding them when they made an error or had a bad at bat. There were several parents in differant locations under tents so between innings I went to each tent and told all the parents and I quote " I don't know who is making the comments to girls but I have had several of them tell me that it was distracting them and that they needed to stop now" When I got to the last tent two sets of parents were sitting there one immediatly gets up and walks off, the other which I had not had any complaints about blows up " YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME" no coments were made over here. I turn around, go back to the dug out, the parent who walked off has pulled his daughter off the field and is leaving. I let them go. As soon as the game is over I call a team meeting. The parent who blew his top is irrate thinking that I single them out, I pointed out that I went to all parents but there was no convincing him. I don't know if they will bring thier daughter back or not, but if if they do he I and WILL have an understanding about parental conduct. The player who left in my opinion quit the team as soon as she left. Should I allow the player who's parent blew thier top to return and did I handle this right?
Thanks 1999coach

 

[Turkeylips]

I am by no means a softball coach, but my husband was an asst. coach this year for my dd's softball team. If it were me, there is no way I would allow them back on the team. Not only did they let their whole team down, but if they do it once, they will do it again. There is a parent on our team that is constantly threatening to pull her daughter if she doesnt get enough play time. I am tired of hearing it and wish she would just follow through. This mom happens to be the big mouth that is constantly yelling at our players on and off the field. In order to play TB, you have to have commitment and they are obviously not committed to the team.

 

[KevinC]

Maybe one or both of these parents were already disgruntled and this was the "last straw" from their point of view. If that is the case it's probably time for them to move on.

 

[quincy]

Well, you might have found the Issue players were complaining about anyways.

I would not intentionally penalize the player if the parent is the issue. Tell the parent what is expected of him, if he cannot or will not follow the rules they are not allowed to team activities. DD is welcome, he is not. If he states it is a package deal, bye DD too.

It is not my DD’s fault she has me for a parent, she did not have a choice in the matter.

 

[SoCalDad]

KevinC nailed it. The parent who walked off with his DD was only looking for the excuse that allowed him/her to save face. That parent in their own mind will create a justification that your behavior as a coach is why they left. Let them go, no good comes from having them back, trust me, been there done that.

 

[Bucketrider]

My dd played for a team that from the beginning made a no contact rule. The coach said basically, " You bring the girls to the field for me to coach. Let me. No bleacher ball, no coming to the dugouts during the game and no talking to the coaches about decisions or issues until 24 hours after the game to allow for any cooling off. If you do not agree, we shall part now with no hard feelings. If you don't conform, I will have to ask you to not come back." IMHO, if you are coaching from the bleachers, you don't trust the coach enough to let him/her coach, so you should probably leave anyway.

 

[1999Coach]

The player who left was a good player and got plenty of play time, actually sat out very little but her parents rode her really hard and would make comments to several other players during games and warm ups. I found this out after the fact. I guess I was to envolved in coaching the game to see this. I also found out that other players parents had confronted them about this. The player who's dad was irrate is a good catcher. We have three catchers on the team and at our last tournament the temps were close to 100 deg. with an even higher heat index. I rotated the catchers about half way through each game, I told the catchers I was going to do this during the first pre game meeting of the tourney. When they were not catching the were either on the bench to cool off or playing out field, I did this with them all. This was my plan going in, I told the parents this and that I would not take a chance with a players health for play time and that this was a game and no girls health was worth play time or winning. Evidently her dad thought she should be catching or in the infield the entire time, also found out after the game that he made comments about this to other parents. I haven't spoke with either set of parents since the incident, I feel that if catcher wants to still be a part of the team they should contact me, if not I consider them to have quit ( the player who left during the game will not be returning regardless).
Thanks, 1999coach

 

[starsnuffer]

Why couldn't just show them the parent behavior form they signed before the season started that clearly defined that sideline coaching would result in loss of playing time for their daughter? Why did you just no bench the player who's parents were behaving against team regulations? Let the kd explain to mommy or daddy why they aren't playing.

-W

 

[smallball]

Why couldn't just show them the parent behavior form they signed before the season started that clearly defined that sideline coaching would result in loss of playing time for their daughter? Why did you just no bench the player who's parents were behaving against team regulations? Let the kd explain to mommy or daddy why they aren't playing.

-W

^^^^^^
This x 100

Also, I imagine that around the same time this thread started, somewhere out there in internetland a mommy or daddy started a thread titled "Coaches". In that thread he or she asked the forum if he or she did the right thing by taking his or her daughter off the field because the coach didn't know what he or she was doing.

 

[1999Coach]

As I said I didn't hear the comments at this tourney but had several players complain and they weren't sure who made them. That was why I spoke to all the parents between innings and directed it at no one person or set of parents.
1999coach