Parents trying to destroy team a month before nationals

[SoftSocDad]

It's been building for a while, but if you're going to try to break up a team, either do it in before May or else wait until the team loses its final game.

There are a few parents who aren't happy with the team. A couple of them have made it clear that they intend to walk at the end of the season. They don't beat that drum all the time, though. They're unhappy, so they plan to search for a better situation for them, and that's that. Ever since those announcements came out, they've been regular parts of the team without too much extra drama at all. There might be the occasional question about who played what inning or something, but nothing over the top anymore.

The other set of parents are having a tough time handling their situation with dignity. They're mad and they want to break up the team to start a new one instead of just going their own way. I know I post on this site, but I'm not sure what gave them the impression that I was in any way interested in forming a breakaway team with them. I was upset when they asked me, because it seemed like such a shady, underhanded move. But, instead of making a scene or trying to embarrass them, I took the high road at the moment and said our family was happy right now, but would evaluate after nationals as every family and the coaches should do.

They're the parents who'll spend half their time complaining about our team to other parents on our team and spend the other half complaining to parents of other teams about our team. Their DD may be sweet, but that's not a couple I am looking to build a lasting relationship with. And with the way they've chosen to manage their departure from this team, I can imagine most other parents won't ended up spending much time with them either if they do start a new team.

 

[CoogansBluff]

It's not uncommon for a disgruntled parent or assistant coach to attempt to hijack a team, or blow it up by recruiting the existing players to follow them to another team, etc. There probably are rare instances when the head coach is so unfit that he/she needs to be fired and someone else take over, but I find justification for that sort of thing to be hard to come by. ...

No matter how toxic a team or coach is, I have respect for the person who put that team together and don't think it's right to steal what he/she has built, or set fire to it while I'm leaving.

It's a good topic because I do see it happening from time to time. Curious to know what people think.

 

[Jr10234]

Blow ups are usually constructed and discussed by the parents-not the girls. If the parents stayed out of it, I think softball would be much more enjoyable for the girls.

Misbehavior of players is often a coaches kid so that won't be addressed...

My DD accepts willingly whatever role her coach assigns-catching, OF, cheering from the pine, etc. if I have a problem with it, that's for me. If the girls are happy parents should zip it.

 

[JAD]

Over the years there have been parents/players who have left our team because the "grass was greener" on the other side of fence, only to find out that the grass was greener because it was fertilized with horse manure.....our team if far from perfect, but we have not gotten better every year for the past 5 years by accident!

 

[WaSpeed02]

Ours is a first year 10U "A" team that is very well coached and the girls have been successful. Several of our families drive extremely long distances for team practices 2-3x a week and the girls get along like best friends. Most parents get along great and support each other in ways I didn't expect before moving up to TB. It's truly a family atmosphere and I hope it stays this way for years to come. I've heard horror stories from other teams, and realize our team is one of the lucky ones. We definitely count our blessings!

 

[PGSAKen]

Its all too common. I had a asst coach do this and take 4 girls with him. After I found out what else was going on with him and those four girls I am glad they are gone.

Everything works out how it is supposed to in the end whether we know it or not at the time. It always works for the better as you do not want toxic people around you and your families.

All it does is hurt the girls they take or that leave as softball is a small community. Get a reputation as a parent or family for being fence jumpers or for being "barfers" and youll never make a quality team again. Add in small town high school politics and youmight as well sell your gear thanks to your parents.

Sad how parents try to live through their kids.

 

[SoftSocDad]

Yes, once people revealed their true colors, I was glad to know they're moving on. This team has had a lot of success, which has been a blessing and a curse. Almost every player on this team would make any team in the region. Most of them players would probably start, but we have only 3 who'd go right into the top 4 of any lineup we've seen, no questions asked. My DD is not one of those three, but could start for anyone else. I don't like attaching negative commentary to little girls unless it's a bad attitude, but the parents causing the trouble are the ones who most overestimate their DD's skills at this age. They are all very young, but if these parents don't open their eyes, they will continue to be responsible for holding their DD's back.

 

[cmustangsfp]

We have a saying: "We don't invite girls to tryout, we invite the parents." All kidding aside, I would rather have the drama parents walk even if they had the best DD on the team, than to have them poison the team.

 

[SoftSocDad]

I couldn't agree more. Of course, to hear their story, their DD IS the best player on the whole team and would be able to show it if it wasn't for the coaches.

 

[BattingNine]

I couldn't agree more. Of course, to hear their story, their DD IS the best player on the whole team and would be able to show it if it wasn't for the coaches.

This happens all too often.

From your previous posts it sounds like the coaching is fair. These girls have had an entire season to show their abilities, and it appears that they haven't done so.

Each girl brings something different to a team, and it's that combination that wins games. If those parents can't see that they need to support the team as a whole, then they should move on. They either need to find an individual sport for their daughter such as tennis or golf, or move to a less competitive team where their daughter can be the "star."