One of the local softball coaches was arrested.

[liviking]

It is very sad that we have individuals like this among us . It is also very important to teach and train our child to be aware of this . In this politically correct society , some parents do not know how or are afraid to talk to their kids . I have seen this happen in the past . Public schools do not want to take the lead in this because of the fear of lawsuits . I like the boy scout approach on this , No one parent / coach can be alone with any child . There always has to be two adults present ! It is a tough lesson to talk with your child but it is better than the alternative .

 

[Westwind]

An adult male should NEVER be alone with my two girls. Coaches, church pastors, teachers, nope not gonna happen.

Both my girls know this. They have been told what to do and not to be embarrassed to get out of this situation immediately.

God bless the adults who want to help, want to teach, want to coach for the Right Reasons. Unfortunately, there is a small percentage that do it to get close to kids for the wrong reasons.

As an adult male coach, I go to great lengths to NEVER be alone with a single kid. (Just like the Boy Scout approach in the above post.) That includes rides home, individual practice, whatever. Several of my daughters friends come to our house to practice hitting, but ONLY if Mom/Dad stays or my daughter can also be there. It is my opinion that it is your responsibility to yourself and to the kids to never put yourself that position. Also, you must never put yourself in a position where a false claim could be made or even give the appearance that something could have happened. If everyone took this approach, that bad guys would stick out like sore thumbs.

Watch out for your own kids. Watch out for the OTHER parents kids. NEVER tell yourself it won't happen yours. Unfortunately, in the world we live in it is necessary to be a little suspicious of those who take a special interest in our kids. Ask yourself what that persons motivation is.

Sorry if this post comes off a little strong but a recent news article in my area really set me off this week. Basically, a local teacher/high school football coach was convicted of having sex with an underage student. Not only did he do this, but the article reveals that other school staff members sent emails indicating that they were aware of, (quote), "his affinity for young females". The article says "They joke about VanHoutte getting “paid” for watching the cheerleaders at a home game in an inappropriate manner." (Another article indicates he was chaperoning the cheerleaders at the time.)

Furthermore, the prosecutor who put the teacher/coach in prison for 7 years ended up being convicted of providing THE SAME UNDERAGE VICTIM with alcohol and hitting on her and a teenage friend. What is wrong with these people?

Really makes me wonder who is watching out for my kids at school.

VanHoutte case: UT staff emails raised concerns

 

[sluggers]

The vast majority of sexual predators are family members. And, there are lots of female abusers.

If everyone took this approach, that bad guys would stick out like sore thumbs.

The truth is that they do stick out like sore thumbs. But, parents and other adults turn their heads and look the other way.

Furthermore, the prosecutor who put the teacher/coach in prison for 7 years ended up being convicted of providing THE SAME UNDERAGE VICTIM with alcohol and hitting on her and a teenage friend. What is wrong with these people?

Sexual abuse victims don't behave the way they are portrayed on TV. They are victims in every sense of the word, but the damage is psychological as well as physical. They manifest their trauma differently than you might expect. Once a child has been sexualized, they are about 100x more likely to be abused again.

 

[Lozza]

The truth is that they do stick out like sore thumbs. But, parents and other adults turn their heads and look the other way.

My year 10 science teacher was a bit of a creep. Always hugging us and telling us to not be too naughty with our boyfriends. Just generally creepy. He had worked at a previous school with my grandmother and she almost died that year and the hug he gave me sceeved me out very highly. I remember saying to my friends how creepy it was. No-one ever did anything. He went onto be headmaster at a different Christian school and abolished the 30 cm rule (the distance boys and girls could be from each other. How it had always worked at my school was if you were being innaporopriate with a fellow student, they would jump on you, but if you were just hugging or comforting another student the other cheek would be turned) used to have pool parties at this house, hugged girls and held their hands. Expelled a student who called him a perv. Fired another teacher who blew the whistle on him. He's now serving gaol time for drugging and raping a student. The signs were there and the people who could do something about it, ignored them.

My grandfather went through the same thing. There was a coach who was gaoled for interfering with boys. He'd seen some things that had made him uncomfortable but he thought he was making too much of it. He was devastated when it all came out and blamed himself for a long time. It did make him stand down a male manager who'd been inappropraite with my team (having 11 year old girls sit on their laps) He even tried to warn a different association when he moved there after being 'insulted' Sadly, that took the same route.

I still stand by my comment on how some men are skeezy. Are the women abusers? Yes, but they are a minority. The majority of people who interfere with a female student/athlete are men. That is fact. The stats (from Wiki) are 14 to 40% of acts against boys are women and only 6% of the acts against girls are by women. So yes, when it comes to young girls and teenagers the odds are in favour of them being abused by a male. I'm not going to sugercoat that fact so some men can feel better about themselves and their gender. Don't ignore ANYONE who is inappropriate around your daughters, but I will be somewhat wary if a man who has never played the sport (or baseball in America) and does not have daughters offers to volunteer to coach.

 

[chinamigarden]

Lozza. I know you live quite a bit from me, so I would assume our news media carry different stories. But there has been a rash of female teachers who have been caught sexually assaulted their students. My guess its been going on for a long time, but in the past (and even today) no one saw a 13 year old boy in this situation as a victim so it goes unreported. I don't doubt for a minute that there are "skeezy" men out there preying on young girls, but human nature being human nature. I also think there are many pervy women who are out looking for young kids.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I don't post all of the tragedies that I read during the week, but a ball player and her mother were murdered this past week. A son (brother) was the accused when I read the initial story. The athlete's name was Bree Williams. (Briana)

Lozza, Here in the United States we have quite a few female abusers. I did tend to trust female doctors and dentists a little more with my kids, but not Caitlin's female coaches. I have just been in the game, too long.

 

[sluggers]

Yes, but they are a minority. The majority of people who interfere with a female student/athlete are men.

I disagree. I know of more instances of a female coach having a relationship with a player than a male coach having a relationship with a player.

Gotta agree with Amy...

 

[Westwind]

Very good comments.

As unpleasant as it is, this is a topic that needs discussing, and with that hopefully comes awareness.

Lozza, you are really right about trusting the little voice in your head that tells you when something just isn't right. Go with your gut on this kind of stuff. There is a reason you get that creepy feeling even if you can't put your finger on why its' happening.

Sluggers, great comments and very true. I'm not looking at this with a very technical/educated view, but it seems to me the abusers can sense a victim and prey on it.

 

[Sparky Guy]

It's a sad commentary on the world in general when a male coach with no "bad" intentions has to be doubly vigilant when it comes to dealing with female athletes.

To protect myself I tell my parents at the initial team meeting I will not give their daughters a ride to or from any team event. I will not be alone with any player. I make sure there is at least one other adult or player present when I'm working with them. I've had to stay with a girl at the field whose parent is late picking them up a couple of times. I never have them wait in my car. If I receive an email from a player I always include the parents in the reply line. I tell my players do not call my cell or text me unless their parents know about it. I always let the parents know if they do.

I keep the physical contact to a minimum; a high five, pat on the shoulder, move a foot/hand/glove to the proper position when teaching a skill or a poke in the ribs to wake them up. Never a hug or lap sit.

Following these rule I've never had a question raised by anyone in all the years I've been coaching.