A high school state championship in football, playing for your school, is infinitely more rewarding and special than a weekend softball tournament. Not sure if you are comparing the two, but they're not comparable, IMO. Only people who care about a travel team is 11 players and 22 parents. If you win a state title in high school football, there are hundreds of people who care. It's in the newspapers, all your friends and family and schoolmates and teachers know about it. Big, big deal.
OK Coaches, How Would You Address This One
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A high school state championship in football, playing for your school, is infinitely more rewarding and special than a weekend softball tournament. Not sure if you are comparing the two, but they're not comparable, IMO. Only people who care about a travel team is 11 players and 22 parents. If you win a state title in high school football, there are hundreds of people who care. It's in the newspapers, all your friends and family and schoolmates and teachers know about it. Big, big deal.
I played field hockey in high school and college. Nobody except for parents and the occasional boyfriend looking to score brownie points, came to our games. Our one big highlight in college was when the band came to one of our games. They were warming up before their real event, the ice hockey game across the street. Neeldess to say, the other team wasn't super thrilled when the band yelled their typical hockey insults ("sieve sieve sieve!") to the poor goalie after each goal, complete with a playing of our fight song. (we were not a big sports school, aside from ice hockey)
Field hockey was my true love. I changed my position three times throughout my career specifically to get playing time and to become a starter. Now take lacrosse. I played in high school, pretty much because all of my friends played. I did play, but not a whole heck of a lot; and that was fine with me. I just loved running around with my friends and getting a jump on my tan in the spring.
Field hockey was my true love. I changed my position three times throughout my career specifically to get playing time and to become a starter. Now take lacrosse. I played in high school, pretty much because all of my friends played. I did play, but not a whole heck of a lot; and that was fine with me. I just loved running around with my friends and getting a jump on my tan in the spring.
Oh, I wasn't saying the football championship and a weekend tournament were comparable. I was merely pointing out that the players who didn't play in that game were proud of being there and receiving their sweatshirts. They somehow ( probably coaches ) felt part of that win even though they weren't on the field. I want my kid to feel the same way no matter where she was that Sunday, so that's why I was asking what would you tell her so she would feel like she was contributing.
The 2nd place in the gold bracket is actually a great thing for us to see and experience. It affirms what the coach thinks about this group of girls. And what we see at practice.
And this is key I think:
"you have to make me believe you're one of the best 9 hitters on this team, or that you are so valuable defensively (maybe SS or C) that I'm willing to play you over someone who hits better."
We talked about this when she was deciding on who to play for after she got her offers. Go A or B. She chose A so she now has to ramp it up.
The 2nd place in the gold bracket is actually a great thing for us to see and experience. It affirms what the coach thinks about this group of girls. And what we see at practice.
And this is key I think:
"you have to make me believe you're one of the best 9 hitters on this team, or that you are so valuable defensively (maybe SS or C) that I'm willing to play you over someone who hits better."
We talked about this when she was deciding on who to play for after she got her offers. Go A or B. She chose A so she now has to ramp it up.
I like the responses you've given through this thread. I think you see it about the way I do except that perhaps I wouldn't judge her feelings or try to make her feel differently about her role on the team.
The fact that she can express that she feels empty or not valued is a good thing. That information is valuable. She can use that information to make decisions about softball in the future – Do I want to compete at the highest level, at the risk of not playing, or do I want to play lower and be assured of playing? Either choice is fine, but now that she knows how it ‘’feels’’ to sit on Sunday, she can make a better informed decision. If we as parents try to change our kids’ feelings, we can interfere with this whole process. So I try to avoid telling my DD how to feel, although that can be hard. Like you, I don't like to see her sad, especially about softball.
I wonder how things would be different if we valued coaches based not on the their best players, or their W-L record, but on their bottom three players.
At the end of the season, what if we asked this: Did you develop 11 players that could play important roles in every tournament, or did you have two or three that you failed to get to a level where you trusted playing them in elimination games?
- Jul 28, 2008
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In fallball, I question a coach's managing skills who can't get everyone in on Sunday.
- Aug 9, 2013
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Great point. It's not about making your best players the best - it's about taking 10-12 on the roster and making them into effective players. You picked the kids for a reason and they have an ability to do something well. For the money spent, everyone deserves time in field or an at bat.
- May 9, 2013
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Love Internet forums actually. Especially this one. Lots of good information and insight from many posters. Unfortunately lots of bad advice and information from many close-minded posters as well. Just have to weed through the junk and I should know better than addressing the shortcomings of the forum to those that have it all figured out.
- Jul 17, 2012
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Ohhhh ... OK. Shoot. I'm sorry. Here I thought you were trying to be the person to determine what kind of questions you should or shouldn't ask in a forum. Ohh wait... you were. Maybe you can ask Sluggers for special permission to be able to flag good and bad advice.... and determine what types of questions should and shouldn't be asked.
