Need parental/coach pitching advice

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

We played our first game of the season last night and she struggled mightily with that. I am going to follow my own 24 hour rule and add a little more to it unless she comes to me today and wait until tomorrow to talk to her about it. Give us both some time to process and really think through how we want to approach the next step.

She threw okay, but not up to her abilities. She was obviously holding back because she is afraid of really letting loose on the catchers. It isn't about the batters, which I find odd. She doesn't care about a hitter being in the box, she is just worried about the catcher. I would say she was throwing at about 75% of her normal velocity and it really hurt her mechanics and her control. My assistant coach, who is also an AC on one of the travel teams we have looked into, had me move his middle infield daughter to catch the second inning just to try to give my DD some added confidence in the catcher. She walked a few and had some very frustrating bad plays behind her on defense that didn't help matters.

We stayed and watched the game after ours and one of her friends, a girl that has played with us every year since they were 6 until this year, was pitching. I knew that she has been taking lessons over the winter so I really paid attention to her delivery. She has clearly been working with a PC that teaches IR so I asked her dad for his contact info and will likely be getting in touch with him soon. I am going to talk to my DD tomorrow and make sure that it is what she wants to do first though.

She loves to catch and has a strong bat but she has told me she wants to pitch too. At 11, it is hard to know which way to encourage her to go. I am trying my best to walk the fine line between encouragement and overbearing.

Congrats on getting through that first game! It's a milestone, no matter what kind of performance she had. At least it's behind her.

I agree on earlier responses that told you to advise her that the catcher has a job to do, and so does she. She needs to understand that her catcher wants to improve just as much as she does! If dd is only throwing 75%, then she's not challenging her catcher, which is the same thing as saying that she doesn't believe her catcher will get better. How would she feel if it were turned around and someone felt that way about her? Maybe try to set up a pitcher-catcher only practice before regular practice? Along with excellent practice for your dd, catcher would also benefit by being in a no-pressure situation where she can gain some confidence, so it's win-win if they can work together in the off-time. (BTW, this ends up being the answer to 90% of the pitching/catching questions on this board: practice more, together.)

And from a parenting perspective, I can also tell you that it is rare that my dd will actually "perform to her abilities" during a game. That's normal. During one particularly horrible game, DH actually muttered, "That kid owes me $100 for pitching lessons." It stresses parents out because we know that they look like Cat Osterman or Jennie Finch in the back yard, and end up looking like they've never thrown a ball before, come game time. It's the nature of the beast. Time and practice and more time help this phenomenon - so since it's the first game of the season, just realize that your girl will get SO much better as she goes forward! So you got that going for you! So much of the game is mental, so reining in the beast of insecurity is bigger than anything else during these first tournaments. Oh, and ice cream. Ice cream always helps.

A friend and softball Dad had us start taking real stats for our dd when she's pitching, because there are rarely proper stats available at 12u. How many outs did she really have, how many defensive errors happened, and what did she do properly? That started opening her eyes (and ours!) to how much she was actually doing RIGHT, as opposed to "we lost that game so it's on our kid." Yeah, sometimes it was on our kid; but having to get 7 outs in an inning is a tough job when your defense doesn't show up.

At 11, let her try everything and find out what she has a passion for. My dd pitches down the hall, pitches in her room, and keeps a ball with her and absent-mindedly spins it when she's riding in the car. She gets "itchy" to pitch if we keep her down more than a couple days. That's how we knew we had to stick with it. The moment I hear myself say, "You should probably go pitch" is the moment I evaluate her interest level. Girl brains are wonderful, complicated, mysterious things - so finding out what they actually want can vary day-to-day. We established early-on that this is HER thing, not ours, so we won't be made to feel like we're asking her to do a chore. If pitching becomes a chore, then she's probably telling you that it isn't her passion. We left a sport that she gave several years of her life to (and I'm still grieving!) because she chose softball. As much as it pained me, I realized that she had developed a true passion for something that she hadn't felt in a long time for her other sport, so I switched gears and supported her. I miss seeing her compete in her other sport, but I am not sorry that we allowed her to follow her passion.

Hope this helps. Sorry so long!

 

[xygent1]

is her catching ability better than her pitching ability? I don't believe you could even try to do both so that's the decision she would need to make and being 11yrs old or so I think that's when you really need to kick it in high gear especially for TB making sure she has the proper mechanics and all the time that is needed practicing hours and hours weekly at home to fine tune her (if she wants to reach that next level) for ex. my DD has destroyed part of my yard in her pitching area I don't even bother trying to fix it anymore completely a moot point hehe, down stairs I also have a pitching net up so she can pitch down there, understanding bucket dad the bucket is your best friend you will find as my knees are shot from all the times ive been up and down. and the better they get you will graduate to full catching gear as a dad not for the 1000s of great pitches you will catch its the few bad pitches that will get ya believe me between the bruises and the wind being knocked out of me more times than I can count im all about my safety now haha. but The Rewards that you will get out of watching your girl is priceless. on a side note I love to fish and hunt haven't done either one in over 2yrs cause I just don't have the time but honestly I don't miss it cause I couldn't imagine missing my DD play if I was fishing. So in saying all that you both need to decide what kind of commitment you are willing to do especially going into TB(entirely a different beast) at least in my experience its been a huge commitment on both of our parts.

 

[PA SB Dad]

#1 catchers are just as valuable to good travel teams as good pitchers.

 

[xygent1]

#1 catchers are just as valuable to good travel teams as good pitchers.

I couldn't agree more. they are equally as important and can make or break a pitcher

 

[abbygale]

Actually, your daughter doesn't trust herself. That's normal. And as a pitchers parent, go find her a team where the catching is much better than the pitching, which will require her to work harder and earn the trust of herself. And by that, then her teamates. Afterwards, everytime she ends up in a position of being in the top third of her team, move her up again. She needs to enjoy the journey more than the results.

Being a pitcher is a lonely position, so much of her journey and growth will be within. Just my take on why many pitchers are odd ducks, loveable but still with their quirks. It is not for everybody.

And never allow her to question others ability for her own performance.

 

[riseball]

Actually, your daughter doesn't trust herself. That's normal. And as a pitchers parent, go find her a team where the catching is much better than the pitching, which will require her to work harder and earn the trust of herself. And by that, then her teamates. Afterwards, everytime she ends up in a position of being in the top third of her team, move her up again. She needs to enjoy the journey more than the results.

Being a pitcher is a lonely position, so much of her journey and growth will be within. Just my take on why many pitchers are odd ducks, loveable but still with their quirks. It is not for everybody.

And never allow her to question others ability for her own performance.

I have rarely if ever seen this at 18U much less at 12U. As I look at teams of all age groups, catching is often the most neglected position on the team. For every 5 strong pitchers I see I may find 1 catcher that I would consider competent, much less exceptional. On my 18U team if you want to catch my pitchers you will embrace and demonstrate the NECC principles or you will not see time behind the dish. I am amazed at how many catchers and their parents talk about calling pitches and then they get behind the plate on the balls of their feet and catch the back half of the ball.

 

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

Being a pitcher is a lonely position, so much of her journey and growth will be within. Just my take on why many pitchers are odd ducks, loveable but still with their quirks. It is not for everybody.

Love this! My dd is an "odd duck" and very "quirky" - the mental side of the position manifests in strange ways, doesn't it?

 

[abbygale]

I have rarely if ever seen this at 18U much less at 12U. As I look at teams of all age groups, catching is often the most neglected position on the team. For every 5 strong pitchers I see I may find 1 catcher that I would consider competent, much less exceptional. On my 18U team if you want to catch my pitchers you will embrace and demonstrate the NECC principles or you will not see time behind the dish. I am amazed at how many catchers and their parents talk about calling pitches and then they get behind the plate on the balls of their feet and catch the back half of the ball.

Which is why you probably get more than your share of the top pitchers.

 

[JJS]

Did the nurse who delivered you receive training from other nurses who had experience delivering babies, or did she learn from her self-taught dad-coach, who watched some YouTube videos and read an online message board?

So you are saying that the nurse could have never done it before, but been trained to be an adequate or even very good nurse? Thank you. With that logic we can all take the "training" that we get from local PCs, youtube, BM, Java, Hillhouse & others and become adequate to very good Daddy PCs in our own rite.

 

[quandofloo]

is her catching ability better than her pitching ability? I don't believe you could even try to do both so that's the decision she would need to make and being 11yrs old or so I think that's when you really need to kick it in high gear ...

Truthfully, in my obviously biased eyes, I would prefer her to focus on catching. I think she has the mentality for it more and is physically suited for it more. I am trying very hard not to make any decisions for her though.