Sprained her ankle day before freshman year tryouts. JV coach was her first TB coach, he knew her and didn't need her to tryout.
My DD is having a nervous breakdown over HS tryouts
- Thread starter SoCalDad
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Sprained her ankle day before freshman year tryouts. JV coach was her first TB coach, he knew her and didn't need her to tryout.
I would think in CA you would have at least 4 pitchers on JV and Varsity. Is she #5? Can this one pitcher carry the load for the whole program? Is throwing better than this girl her only hope and quality? Does she hit? Is she the 26th worst hitter, etc. on the 25 player rosters? She doesn't have to be the best, just good enough! And she has already proved it.
3 pitchers on each team. She dominated JV teams last year and was pulled up to varsity last week of season and into playoffs. In 7 games pitched a total of 1 inning. #2 and #3 pitchers didn't fare better. They got a total of 3 innings in these games. In critical games HC doesn't pull #1 unless there is a significant lead and only an inning remaining. She is the clear #2 on Varsity but is getting very anxious that her other softball skills have not kept pace with her pitching. She is a very good hitter but lacks speed. Her fielding is good but not on par with the varsity starters at first and third. Her anxiety is growing that she will sit on the bench most of the season while everyone else is playing. This might not be rational but having had a 15/16 YO before I have learned that rational emotions and that age are often mutually exclusive.
Ah yes! That would be the right conclusion
Has she been working hard at everything, just pitching, or has she been distracted?
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
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What your daughter needs is a different mindset. She is approaching the tryouts and the upcoming season with expectations that she will fail. She just KNOWS she will fail in her mind. Here is what you do to combat it.
Don't tell her she's good enough. I believe she knows it already. She needs to believe in herself that she will succeed at this. Once she starts believing she will succeed the anxiety will diminish and you should see her confidence start to return. Keep hitting her hard over the next few days with the "Expect to succeed." mantra and I believe she'll start to feel she will, not can, be successful.
I use it with my players almost every practice. I push them and tell them I know they can perform a certain skill or drill. They have to believe in themselves that they will succeed and get it done. After a while I can see a change in their body language and the way they approach things. I don't take fear of failing as an excuse.
Don't tell her she's good enough. I believe she knows it already. She needs to believe in herself that she will succeed at this. Once she starts believing she will succeed the anxiety will diminish and you should see her confidence start to return. Keep hitting her hard over the next few days with the "Expect to succeed." mantra and I believe she'll start to feel she will, not can, be successful.
I use it with my players almost every practice. I push them and tell them I know they can perform a certain skill or drill. They have to believe in themselves that they will succeed and get it done. After a while I can see a change in their body language and the way they approach things. I don't take fear of failing as an excuse.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
I have seen that exact thing before. While my DD was in college she was home during Christmas break one year. We went to the local indoor facility so she could work out before heading back to school.
When we walked in there was a young girl who looked to be 12 years old or so. I could tell she was just starting out by watching a couple of pitches. My daughter daughter started doing her warmups in the tunnel next to the girl. The girl was fine while this was going on. About 10 minutes later one of my daughter's former teammates who was also a pitcher showed up to work out. She takes the tunnel on the other side of the girl.
My daughter was throwing in the 63-65 mph range at that time. The other girl would throw in the 60-62 range. As my daughter and the other girl were getting fully warmed up they were both really popping the leather on both sides of the girl. I'm watching the young girl between pitches and I could see it in her body language that she completely intimidated by the college girls on either side of her. Her pitches were going everywhere and the dad was getting frustrated with her.
My daughter saw it too. She called the young girl over to her and said something to her. The girl smiled and nodded her head a couple of times. Her pitching was still erratic but her demeanor seemed to lift. When we were done for the day I asked my daughter what she said to the girl. She told me she asked the girl if she was just learning how to pitch and the girl answered yes. Then she asked her if she could let her in on a secret and again the girl nodded. She told her that she was just like her when she was her age and that it takes a lot of work to be able to pitch well. Then she asked the girl if she was willing to do it and the girl answered yes and went back to pitching.
If there's someone who can give your daughter's confidence a slight nudge in the positive direction don't be afraid to use it.
These are the stories I like to hear, and so true. We adults could have said the exact thing word for word, but coming from a older mentoring player the words are more hypnotic and well digested.
Great thread guys. My DD is going thru close to the same thing. Only there are limited spots on the V team and coach seems to have this spots filled for the coming year. She knows she is good enough but wants a fare shot.
Make sure she knows, like I'm telling mine, is do what you have trained to do, play hard and HAVE fun.
Make sure she knows, like I'm telling mine, is do what you have trained to do, play hard and HAVE fun.
She's the clear #2 pitcher on varsity as a sophomore (I think I got the age right) and the #1 is a senior D1 scholarship player.
Unless I missed something she's in a great spot. Help her team excel this season supporting the #1. She'll definitely be needed in that role. And start to own the future #1 spot, put all her focus there. Be a leader, keep getting better, improve her hitting so she can hit as a pitcher if needed and improve her other skills as well.
It seems like she needs to take a big picture view of her high school career and also realize she'll be #1 (I imagine) again this summer on her travel team.
Good luck to her, she seems to be in a great position to have a long successful career. Sometimes when we (kids and adults) are inside what we think is a problem we miss that it is actually an opportunity : >
Unless I missed something she's in a great spot. Help her team excel this season supporting the #1. She'll definitely be needed in that role. And start to own the future #1 spot, put all her focus there. Be a leader, keep getting better, improve her hitting so she can hit as a pitcher if needed and improve her other skills as well.
It seems like she needs to take a big picture view of her high school career and also realize she'll be #1 (I imagine) again this summer on her travel team.
Good luck to her, she seems to be in a great position to have a long successful career. Sometimes when we (kids and adults) are inside what we think is a problem we miss that it is actually an opportunity : >
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