Looking for some advice on HS ball because this dad is driving the struggle bus (Sorry another HS topic)

[Towny9]

Completely agree.

Not to hijack the thread, but I'm curious: Do you ever have casual conversations with your coaches about lineups, playing time, etc. (not related to parents complaining)? I have talked to my basketball/volleyball coaches about it, but never from a position of authority. If a bench player doesn't seem to be playing enough, I might just talk about how good they've looked recently, something like that.

I do want to know their rationale for certain decisions (after all, if the coach is a complete moron, I want to know that!), but I don't want it to come across as grilling them or questioning their judgment. And again, neeeever am I doing it as the agent of a parent.

Definitely. More so with some coaches then others based on our relationship. Some will come to me with questions about how I would handle a lineup situation. I tel them what I can support and what I cannot support from an admin perspective. We also talk about it at their end of the year evaluation. In my district, AD’s don’t make personnel decisions (hiring and firing), the principals do. This is good and bad, but the good part is that coaches see me more as a support or help. I tell them that my job is to take care of everything else so you can coach your team.

 

[CoachJD]

Definitely. More so with some coaches then others based on our relationship. Some will come to me with questions about how I would handle a lineup situation. I tel them what I can support and what I cannot support from an admin perspective. We also talk about it at their end of the year evaluation. In my district, AD’s don’t make personnel decisions (hiring and firing), the principals do. This is good and bad, but the good part is that coaches see me more as a support or help. I tell them that my job is to take care of everything else so you can coach your team.

Technically I don't hire/fire either. I "hired" the girls basketball coach, but really I conducted interviews and recommended a candidate to the principal, who then met with him before hiring him. I'm not firing our one coach, but I did give the principal a file of, for lack of a better word, evidence to explain why he needed to go.

Agreed that the relationship matters. I try to have a good relationship with all the coaches, but I naturally get closer to the coaches of the fall/winter indoor sports because I'm at every single home game. I also see those teams play a lot more, so it's easier to have those conversations with them.

 

[Rolling Hard]

"Playing time/roster decisions are not something parents should go to the AD about unless you have proof these decisions are made with some kind of ulterior motive."

"For her travel team last summer she threw 99 innings and had a 2.78 ERA and an opponent BA of .227. 115 K's, 12 walks."

Is stupidity a kind of ulterior motive? I am going to John McEnroe for this coach.

john mcenroe you cannot be serious gif - Search Videos

www.bing.com

 

[CrazyNani]

This is pretty much where I'm at. I don't think the coach is necessarily being abusive or mean on purpose. I do think the assistant coach, who is a very big personality, is running the team (this is based on several player's opinions) and is playing pure Daddy Ball at this point. I don't plan on going to the AD, I'm not sure this is his job to police playing time or anything.

My biggest issues right now, and something I've struggled with ALL weekend is his refusal to move her to JV AND him telling me there isn't anything she can work on/improve to get more playing time, she just needs to wait her turn.

In the meantime, I imagine there are one or two JV pitchers getting plenty of game time right now. What happens next season when these girls come up to Varsity? Will they have to enter into the hierarchy and wait their turn too? They will be Sophomores or perhaps, Juniors at that point and expecting to play as well. Hopefully coach doesn't tell the OP's daughter that she doesn't have enough innings in to be the #1 pitcher.

 

[CrazyNani]

I don't think it's smart of the head coach not to warm-up both pitchers and give the OP's DD some innings. It is not uncommon in HS with just two games a week for one pitcher to pitch almost 100pct of the innings.

Need some more details about how good the team is and how much they are winning by. OP mentions they were up big in the 6th and 7th inning. Is there "run rules" in their games? How many players on the team?

Sounds like the AC has too much influence on the team and his DD's pitching time.... and I think he's dumb wanting his DD pitching all the innings.

I am sensitive to coaches sucking the joy out of the game. My DD quit softball after first year 12u because of a coach sucking the joy out of the game. Luckily two months later a coach who respected her as a player encouraged her to guest play on his team that fall and she had an excellent experience 2nd year 12u. In 7th grade she had a coach suck the joy out of basketball and she hasn't played since.

I would encourage her to contribute the team the best she can, but I would encourage her to ask the HC to warmup the other pitcher so she can get some at bats against live pitching. She should ask the coach if she can DP in a couple games to show her hitting abilities.

Sounds like it is a tough situation, but OP DD's should try to stick it out for a couple more weeks. As others have mentioned many coaches have the philosophy that freshman and sophomores have to be significantly better than juniors and seniors to get playing time. If she wants to play in college, she is going to have to compete for playing time, likely on a roster of 18-24 players.

Try to tell her that the coach isn't being smart, but she should do what she can to help the team get better.

If she wants to be successful in her working career, she will need to learn to work for and with people she doesn't necessarily agree with, but that is part of life.

Our team was up big today, heading towards the run rule at the end of 5. Our #1 pitcher came out in the 2nd inning, followed by next year's #1 and even our Freshman got an inning in. Game ended 21-0, so nice that next year's pitchers got in the game. Our HC has coached this team for 10 years; she also coaches an 18u Travel team. She manages to get everyone playing time in the course of the season and we win anyway. We are fortunate.

 

[Towny9]

Technically I don't hire/fire either. I "hired" the girls basketball coach, but really I conducted interviews and recommended a candidate to the principal, who then met with him before hiring him. I'm not firing our one coach, but I did give the principal a file of, for lack of a better word, evidence to explain why he needed to go.

Agreed that the relationship matters. I try to have a good relationship with all the coaches, but I naturally get closer to the coaches of the fall/winter indoor sports because I'm at every single home game. I also see those teams play a lot more, so it's easier to have those conversations with them.

Sounds very similar to my experience.

 

[Frost033]

Our team was up big today, heading towards the run rule at the end of 5. Our #1 pitcher came out in the 2nd inning, followed by next year's #1 and even our Freshman got an inning in. Game ended 21-0, so nice that next year's pitchers got in the game. Our HC has coached this team for 10 years; she also coaches an 18u Travel team. She manages to get everyone playing time in the course of the season and we win anyway. We are fortunate.

This is how it should be. They were up 12-3 last week and didn't make a single change on defense, just ran the exact same 9 out there that have played every game all season including the pre-season scrimmage.

The coach approached my daughter last night after practice to speak with her. She asked the coach "What does <starting pitcher> do that I don't, because THAT is what I'm going to work on because I'm tired of sitting and watching." He gave her the exact same answer he gave me. Told her that there really isn't anything she can do, the starter is the starter. He had also told her last week that she would FINALLY be pitching today, well he informed her last night that because the game was rained out, he will do his best to get her into today's game. For the record, they have games today, tomorrow and Thursday.

I know there are people who probably think I'm exaggerating here, and I honestly wish I was. This has been such a nightmare to sit and watch and then at night to try and keep my daughter's head in the game and motivated because she's miserable right now. I've never had her tell me she hates softball until this season.

 

[El Oso]

Definitely. More so with some coaches then others based on our relationship. Some will come to me with questions about how I would handle a lineup situation. I tel them what I can support and what I cannot support from an admin perspective. We also talk about it at their end of the year evaluation. In my district, AD’s don’t make personnel decisions (hiring and firing), the principals do. This is good and bad, but the good part is that coaches see me more as a support or help. I tell them that my job is to take care of everything else so you can coach your team.

Technically I don't hire/fire either. I "hired" the girls basketball coach, but really I conducted interviews and recommended a candidate to the principal, who then met with him before hiring him. I'm not firing our one coach, but I did give the principal a file of, for lack of a better word, evidence to explain why he needed to go.

Agreed that the relationship matters. I try to have a good relationship with all the coaches, but I naturally get closer to the coaches of the fall/winter indoor sports because I'm at every single home game. I also see those teams play a lot more, so it's easier to have those conversations with them.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you, Exhibit A of why high school coaching is soooooo bad. There is no accountability for performance to the AD and there seems to be a built-in negativity towards parents. High school coaches can be a dumb as a box of rocks and still retain their jobs with AD's attitudes like this.

 

[El Oso]

If she “rusts” in 3 months then she isn’t very good to begin with.

This is an unfair statement. And its incorrect on top of being unfair. But it does show the tendency of AD's to favor the coaches over the kids. Very telling.

 

[El Oso]

The coach approached my daughter last night after practice to speak with her. She asked the coach "What does <starting pitcher> do that I don't, because THAT is what I'm going to work on because I'm tired of sitting and watching." He gave her the exact same answer he gave me. Told her that there really isn't anything she can do, the starter is the starter.

IMO there needs to be a better response that that but then again us parents are just stupid while coaches and AD's are all rocket scientists.