Looking for Advice on issue with parent.

[nanotech14]

What to heck, she is only 10. Things happen in life.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

The question I see at hand is, "Do you penalize a 10yr old child because of the actions of a parent?"

Just a note about this ... over the years, I have really had to struggle with this concept when it came time to dismissing players. I've found that when it comes to parents making your life (and your team) miserable, you have to divorce yourself from the age of the girl in question and you really need to be able to get past your fondness for her, as well.

Cancer is an indiscriminate killer. It must be cut out, and cut out quickly because it spreads so fast that you will not be able to stop it if left unchecked. If a child needs to be kicked off because of a parent's actions, you just have to understand that you are doing what is best for the team. You need to let your feelings for the girl go for the greater good. You need to accept that it is better to have one unhappy girl on your conscience than 12 girls and their families.

It is hard. I've cried myself to sleep over releasing girls due to their parents' actions. But I have never done so and not had the team be far better off for it in the long run.

I always tell my girls that it isn't about them as individuals, it's about the team. If you keep a player who is breaking the rules or one whose parents are making big waves because "she is just a 10-year-old girl,' then you're making it all about you and your own "sensibilities." I choose to practice what I preach to my team and just get rid of her.

Keep that in mind when you have to do what needs to be done.

 

[02Crush]

Keep in mind this answer could be COMPLETELY different based on expectations you set with your parents before the season started.
Two things....
#1 - Next year you should budget for a size run of jerseys cause you will need fill ins in your community with many teams and small rosters.
#2 - Filling in is only a problem so long as it does not interfere, directly or indirectly with your team playing.
Distance of the drive is NOT relevant for not being there.

 

[JAD]

My $0.02....if you do not want to cut her, I would at least add one or two more girls to your roster to insure you have enough players for future tournaments.

 

[SCDad]

As a coach you completely skipped over how and when you decided to play 2-1/2 hours away.

Was it completely up front from the beginning, or did you change your mind later.

That is the key here. Nothing else matters.

Especially at 10U, some players and parents are strapped for cash. For the coach to up and decide on his own that we need to travel 2-1/2 hours away and get a hotel room, and time off from work, is a big question.

Only you have the answer. The other posters do not have a clue.

 

[townhound]

As a coach you completely skipped over how and when you decided to play 2-1/2 hours away.

Was it completely up front from the beginning, or did you change your mind later.

That is the key here. Nothing else matters.

Especially at 10U, some players and parents are strapped for cash. For the coach to up and decide on his own that we need to travel 2-1/2 hours away and get a hotel room, and time off from work, is a big question.

Only you have the answer. The other posters do not have a clue.

If you read my original post, the decision to go to the tournament was in fact do to a better fit for our team. We are in fact struggling at this point and the teams entered into this tournament is a better fit for us with what teams are entered. More of a b/c tournament and that is exactly what we are right now. As far as strapped for cash, they had a place to stay, and a ride to and from. The only money they would be out is food or misc which they will spend no matter where they play. Thank you for everyones input on this, I have struggled with this, lost sleep over it and at this point I have reached a decision. This player in particular is a 4th year travelball player and mine is the 3rd team they have been on. She came to my team at the start of the season. I cannot leave this door open for others to follow.

 

[coachjwb]

It's easy to say let the player go and I'd love to do this as well, but some logistical questions. First is, what do you do about fees they have paid? Are they entitled to a refund? If not, is that understood up front? The other is what if you only have 11 players on your roster and one is hurt or ill or otherwise unavailable ... just play with 9? How quickly can you pick up other players that are of the same quality as the rest of your team? It's also easier to cut them when you're coaching an A level organization where there's a big demand to get on the team, but what if you're a B level one? What if the player had a good friend on the team and they decide to quit too?

 

[humpty]

Tough to cut players with a small roster. Play closer to home. You get better by playing teams better than you.

 

[fastpitch]

Cut this family now and feel no regret. They aren't buying into that this is a team sport. Don't only blame the parents, I know if the kid wanted to be with her team the parents would drive the extra hour or so. Their actions and team jumping history show that they will leave this team if a more convenient option comes along.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

"Let her go" , "Let her go"

Cut this family and find a replacement