Looking for advice in the 'life isn't fair" dept. re: HS Ball

[obbay]

DD just made Varsity as a freshman. She's a good ballplayer and she usually plays on the left side of the IF when she's not pitching. In the pre-season scrimmages the HS coach has been playing (2) other freshman at middle infield. DD is a better infielder than the other two, but he has been putting her in OF, because the other two can't play OF. She's happy to be on the team, but I'm thinking this will bother her if she stays out there while the other two get her preferred position. She has seldom played OF and doesn't know what to do, so she asks the other OF and has been learning the position. He wants her in the lineup, so he will play her wherever he needs her. And that's fine with her.

Now I know this is HS and it is what it is. I have always encouraged her to play OF, to learn the position and have fun with it, but she was always concerned that if she did a good job, she would never see the IF again.

Now I'm a little concerned, because the coach is not a thinker. He would choose a popular, lead-footed player who doesn't charge the ball and doesn't know how to cover 2B (who's sister is a captain) to play SS , Rather than a kid who has the tools.

She is not complaining and is happy to be there. I'm just looking for advice on where she should focus if she becoimes a great OF, but still wants to play IF and is better than the players in those positions. How do I deal with it myself, especially when I have my wife constantly in my ear. (DD#1 had a bad experience with him when she played for him, so DW smells blood in the water and wants to go in for the kill).

I know everyone thinks their kid deserves better than they sometimes get. I just want to keep things on an even keel and positive.

 

[quincy]

Is it your opinion that the Team is not as good because your DD is not playing her preferred position or is it not fair to your DD because she is a better OF then the other players and has been put there because of it?

 

[MNDad]

Don’t think of outfield as a non-preferred position. You pitcher and the rest of the team will be glad she’s out there. Having a “lead-footed player who doesn't charge the ball and doesn't know how to cover “ in the OF is a disaster. Routine fly balls turn into singles and what should be singles roll to the fence for doubles and triples.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I'm like Quincy in that I'm not sure what you're asking, or what you're identifying as the problem.

As a parent, I would be happy that she's getting to learn another position and that she's having to deal with the challenge of seeing players at her favored position who might not be as good as her. It's a great chance to learn and get better, most physically and mentally. I'd make sure that if I were annoyed by DD's fate (which is only human) that I didn't accidentally poison her attitude about it, which you currently describe as good except for the anxiety of playing an unfamiliar position. You want to train a player to think "I'm here to make this team better and I will fill whatever role that I'm asked'' and not ''My goal this season is to be this team's third baseman.'' Coaches do not want players who pout because they don't get the position they want.

One of the differences between travel and school ball is that in travel, if you don't play the position you want, you find another team. In school ball (whether high school or college), you can't easily up and leave. You have to deal with it. You have to appreciate that the team comes first. If the coach thinks the team is better with her in the OF, even if it's not, then the player's job is to have a great attitude about it, IMO. Takes a very mature person to get that.

I'm probably just putting into words what we all know. But hopefully that helps.

 

[FP26]

DD just made Varsity as a freshman. She's a good ballplayer and she usually plays on the left side of the IF when she's not pitching. In the pre-season scrimmages the HS coach has been playing (2) other freshman at middle infield. DD is a better infielder than the other two, but he has been putting her in OF, because the other two can't play OF.

Any chance the coach is looking for stability at the middle infield spots? If I understand your post correctly, your daughter pitches AND plays the other positions. If she is pitching, someone else will need to play those other spots anyway. Maybe the coach doesn't want to deal with moving several players out of position every time there is a pitching change. Just thinking out loud...

 

[Jasmine_House2021]

I would push my daughter to practice harder at her middle infield spot, but carry a positive attitude about the situation. I would reinforce the excitement of being able to learn a new position and how this can help her game have more versatility. I would also let her know that eventually she'll get her chance, make the most of it. If there other girls aren't as good as her they will play themselves out of that position.

 

[CoachKevin]

I loved the outfield, and since coaching from 10U I always tried to make the outfielders love the position. There is not a more exciting play in softball or baseball than when the outfielder throws out a runner trying to score.

Let me ask you a question. What if the college she wants to attend (and gets accepted) already has great middle infielders... what would your DD do then? Sounds like she doesn't mind playing the outfield, tell her to embrace the position, learn it, and come to love it. Great outfielders are hard to find.

 

[chinamigarden]

DD just made Varsity as a freshman. She's a good ballplayer and she usually plays on the left side of the IF when she's not pitching. In the pre-season scrimmages the HS coach has been playing (2) other freshman at middle infield. DD is a better infielder than the other two, but he has been putting her in OF, because the other two can't play OF. She's happy to be on the team, but I'm thinking this will bother her if she stays out there while the other two get her preferred position. She has seldom played OF and doesn't know what to do, so she asks the other OF and has been learning the position. He wants her in the lineup, so he will play her wherever he needs her. And that's fine with her.

Now I know this is HS and it is what it is. I have always encouraged her to play OF, to learn the position and have fun with it, but she was always concerned that if she did a good job, she would never see the IF again.

Now I'm a little concerned, because the coach is not a thinker. He would choose a popular, lead-footed player who doesn't charge the ball and doesn't know how to cover 2B (who's sister is a captain) to play SS , Rather than a kid who has the tools.

She is not complaining and is happy to be there. I'm just looking for advice on where she should focus if she becoimes a great OF, but still wants to play IF and is better than the players in those positions. How do I deal with it myself, especially when I have my wife constantly in my ear. (DD#1 had a bad experience with him when she played for him, so DW smells blood in the water and wants to go in for the kill).

I know everyone thinks their kid deserves better than they sometimes get. I just want to keep things on an even keel and positive.

If she isn't complaining, then let it be.

My dd was in a similar position as a frosh and sophomore. As a freshie she pitched JV and played with varsity on days JV wasn't, only on V she played RF. She was a better pitcher then the starter and there was nothing she could do to convince the coach that was the truth. She moved up to varsity full time as a soph and played RF again, same pitcher ahead of her, she pitched 1 inning for him all year. Meanwhile she made all county, all area and all conference as a RF. Her junior year she pitched in 24 of our 38 games and started in CF for the rest. This year her senior year, he told her she will be pitching 95% of the time and the team will go as far as she can carry them. In the long term, she will not remember pitching JV as a freshman (except maybe that 19k game) but she will remember him telling her that she is the ace her senior year.

Nothing wrong with playing outfield as long as she makes the most of it, my dd played with a girl who was moved to center from second, and she was much better then the new second baseman, she ended up going to college to play because of how good a CFer she became.

edit: I just noticed that your dd also pitches. Many coaches do not want to move their starting SS out of that position to play another spot. They want to keep the middle consistent and they have a hard time moving girls out of that spot to pitch. Its possible that he is trying to develop the current SS so that when your dd is older and the #1 pitcher, he has an established SS and an ace in the circle.

 

[Momo'sDad]

but I'm thinking this will bother her if she stays out there while the other two get her preferred position.

I hate that mentality. No, I'm not talking about DD, I'm talking about you. Parents should quit trying to live the lives of and inside the minds of their kids, stop trying to project what they (the parents) might feel onto them (the kids). Being "bothered" is a part of life. Learning to adapt and becoming a good teammate are invaluable life skills. Both players and parents need to understand that, sometimes, it's not their call, whether it's a roster decision, the lineup, position play, whatever. And again, this is an understanding that will also apply long after they're done playing softball.

The whole "I'm not happy if my kid's not happy (from getting everything they want)" way of thinking is for weak, insecure parents who are trying to raise weak, insecure kids without even being aware of what they're doing.

I'm sure CoogansBluff could put it in much nicer words than I can, but getting a starting job on varsity as a freshman sounds more like an achievement than mistreatment to me. That's just one reasonable guy's perspective, however, I'm quite close to someone I'm sure would almost definitely agree with you and your wife.

 

[chrispots]

Now I know this is HS and it is what it is. I have always encouraged her to play OF, to learn the position and have fun with it, but she was always concerned that if she did a good job, she would never see the IF again.

I know everyone thinks their kid deserves better than they sometimes get. I just want to keep things on an even keel and positive.

Just some musings bouncing through my head...

This was during scrimmages...maybe the coach is just trying to see what the players can do so he can try an put the best "team recipe" together...

What's the most important position on the field? Whatever position DD is playing SHOULD be your answer IMO. They are ALL equally important. I've bounced girls off my travel team because of parents think their DD is "too good" to play "X" position.

If Carol Hutchins shows up at your door in 2 years and says "I want you DD to come play for me at Michigan but she's going to play outfield." Would you say no?

True story...the SS at my high school that graduated a few years ahead of me got a full D1 ride...never played 1 inning at SS in college because he wasn't fast enough. He was however a 4 year starter at catcher...my point: what position she is playing as a 14 year old may or may not be her position when she finally "retires" from the game.

Is the pitching on the team strong enough to negate having stronger players in the outfield?

If your DD is not complaining but you and DW are...that could be a problem...just sayin'! Negativity about the coach on the home front can take an otherwise positive situation for your DD and make it negative.

CP