While I don't disagree with you, there are a couple of things I will say...........
As an umpire, I've done a few national tournaments. There are always a lot of D1 & D2 coaches at the big events. My experience has generally been that although we are there to officiate, we are to let the players play. They are the reason for the event & are there to be seen. For 18U Gold, most of the girls are already committed & 16U Gold is what most of the college coaches are there for. There are certain infractions that we're "encouraged" to show leniency on. Minor pitching infractions & slap hitters being out of the box are probably the 2 big ones.
It'd have to be something pretty flagrant to be called at a national gold event or at a showcase. If there a minor flaws, just let it go & let their potential college coach deem whether said flaw is a worthy or necessary fix.
I completely disagree, it is a national gold tournament, if they cant play by the rules of the game then they shouldnt be at the tournament. And, if the tournament directors and/or UIC's are telling the umpires to ignore certain infractions then shame on them. Either enforce the rules or take them out of the rule book.