- Jun 7, 2013
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I need someone to yell at me please.
- Thread starter dfp01
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This is the only route that works for me. Whenever I need to, I fall back on Fast Times at Ridgemont High
This is one of the best responses I've seen. Great idea!!
Negativity is easier to catch than I thought.
I've prided myself on almost always swallowing my tounge and taking the bad with the good to avoid being That Parent.
Yesterday at a little league softball game it took me two or three innings to turn into That Parent.
The problem was, DD 3 is the best pitcher in her LL. So, the coaches let her pitch one inning the first game, she had a concert during the second game, and they didn't let her pitch at all the third game. Team lost all 3 game.
They have a 5 run limit per inning , and her team was down 9-1 after 2 innings. I was sitting next to the mothers of the girls who WERE pitching, and they told me their DDs didn't want to pitch, and why wasn't my DD pitching. (DD 3 scored the team's only run).
Then DD 3 came out of the dugout during the team's next at bat to tell me she wouldn't pitch at all that game.
Then players, parents and even coaches from the other team were asking me why DD 3 wasn't pitching.
I admit at that point I got extremely negative for the rest of the game.
It was worse on the way home when DD 3 told me about the new pitch she was going to try out that game.
Reading this thread, and where I said I was the parent who stayed in the stands and relaxed really made me feel like a hypocrite. But, it showed me what I must do. Work things out with the coaches, pull my DD from the team, or watch from the outfield.
I've prided myself on almost always swallowing my tounge and taking the bad with the good to avoid being That Parent.
Yesterday at a little league softball game it took me two or three innings to turn into That Parent.
The problem was, DD 3 is the best pitcher in her LL. So, the coaches let her pitch one inning the first game, she had a concert during the second game, and they didn't let her pitch at all the third game. Team lost all 3 game.
They have a 5 run limit per inning , and her team was down 9-1 after 2 innings. I was sitting next to the mothers of the girls who WERE pitching, and they told me their DDs didn't want to pitch, and why wasn't my DD pitching. (DD 3 scored the team's only run).
Then DD 3 came out of the dugout during the team's next at bat to tell me she wouldn't pitch at all that game.
Then players, parents and even coaches from the other team were asking me why DD 3 wasn't pitching.
I admit at that point I got extremely negative for the rest of the game.
It was worse on the way home when DD 3 told me about the new pitch she was going to try out that game.
Reading this thread, and where I said I was the parent who stayed in the stands and relaxed really made me feel like a hypocrite. But, it showed me what I must do. Work things out with the coaches, pull my DD from the team, or watch from the outfield.
I love that article and refer to it often when I feel myself starting to board the crazy train!
A good point, and something I've also thought about. My kids are also musicians, and they're pretty good ones in a first-rate program that does compete, but I don't get anywhere near as wound up when they're playing as part of a group of 50 as when one of them is at bat, or even worse, in the circle. When your kid is playing as part of a group of 50, and somebody squeaks, it could be anyone. On the ball field, there is no hiding that "squeak". Sometimes, that "squeak" loses a ball game. On a competitive ball team (and a higher level band), enough "squeaks" will get your kid replaced.
To be fair, the kid may go down in pecking order, to a lower chair or, for violinists, from first to second violin.
And, I remember the pressure of competing for chairs in higher-level orchestras. However, my parents weren't in there for the chair competitions. THAT would've been really bad.
Two thoughts:
David Letterman said on his post-9/11 show, that sometimes pretending to be courageous could be as effective as the real thing. My take: I pretend to be sane.
While this does create some inner turmoil (as noted by an OP above)- I find that this abates relatively quickly after the game is over and I am home.
Occasionally, I get the crazy out by watching ESPN3 and yelling at the TV
.
How can I pretend to be sane at DDs game; I keep reminding myself that if she can hold it together while pitching and things are going south, either cause she is getting hit or her team is making errors behind her- the least I could do as her parent- is hold it together too.
If you want to be yelled at:
READ THIS THREAD AND GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF- FIGURE OUT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR DD (YOUR PRESENCE OR ABSENCE) AND THEN DO IT!!!!!
David Letterman said on his post-9/11 show, that sometimes pretending to be courageous could be as effective as the real thing. My take: I pretend to be sane.
While this does create some inner turmoil (as noted by an OP above)- I find that this abates relatively quickly after the game is over and I am home.
Occasionally, I get the crazy out by watching ESPN3 and yelling at the TV
.How can I pretend to be sane at DDs game; I keep reminding myself that if she can hold it together while pitching and things are going south, either cause she is getting hit or her team is making errors behind her- the least I could do as her parent- is hold it together too.
If you want to be yelled at:
READ THIS THREAD AND GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF- FIGURE OUT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR DD (YOUR PRESENCE OR ABSENCE) AND THEN DO IT!!!!!
Hey it is "Rec" ball, the only thing near as bad is High School ball! (Some exceptions apply) Maybe it is time for you to step her up to travel ball/tournament ball. (If her skill level is there) Don't let some of these posters fool you, if they stepped back down into REC ball, they would be right there beside you. (Whether they will admit it or not) If your daughter wants to be competitive you are getting way past the time to move her out of rec ball. So let her decide what she wants to do and if it is Rec then watch from the car. If she wants to be more competitive then get her on the best team that she can make where she is not a top player. When your kid becomes one of the weaker links because she is on a better team, you will see things from a different perspective.
I eat jolly ranchers, preferably the sour ones to help keep me off the crazy train. I still have my insane moments, but those are few and far between.
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