How to deal with the frustration of non-linear progression?

[4Martini]

How do your daughters deal with the day to day frustration of two steps forward, one step back?

Any tips for helping keep it in perspective? I feel we are stuck in a learning and hormone soup right now that is leading to frustration over a process that is moving forward nicely- but hard to see that from a 13yo’s perspective.

Some of it may just be nerves of first tournament with new team coming up- but I could use some support in helping my daughter roll with the punches a little.

At least I know she cares!

 

[_MIA_]

hormone soup

Try alcohol..

 

[PJR202]

How do your daughters deal with the day to day frustration of two steps forward, one step back?

Any tips for helping keep it in perspective? I feel we are stuck in a learning and hormone soup right now that is leading to frustration over a process that is moving forward nicely- but hard to see that from a 13yo’s perspective.

Some of it may just be nerves of first tournament with new team coming up- but I could use some support in helping my daughter roll with the punches a little.

At least I know she cares!

My daughter is in this situation (age 15, three years into pitching). I took over her lessons about a year ago for a few unrelated reasons, but also for the simple fact that I had been studying pitching nearly obsessively for months and decided she wasn't headed the right direction. Long story short, she has her bad days of practicing or just days where she's in a bad mood, and everything sucks, she hasn't gotten better, she hates softball, etc. She knows she's improved tremendously. Her HS coach said "she's a different pitcher vs a year ago." She's been a high strung kid her whole life (sweetest kid ever otherwise) and she wears her stress on her sleeve, and that stress can come from anywhere, but many times it reaches a breaking point during softball.

So, it took an embarrassingly long time for me to realize that I couldn't just talk her out of her feelings. I just needed to let her be herself. If she's in a bad mood, we pick a different day to work. If we're working and it isn't going well, we shut it down. It's been much better for both of us, and the work is still getting done.

 

[PJR202]

Try alcohol..

OP's username says to me that they've likely already tried this.

Possibly 4 times.

 

[_MIA_]

OP's username says to me that they've likely already tried this.

Possibly 4 times.

Good point..shrooms then.

 

[_MIA_]

This may sound like another joke but it’s not. If you are married to a woman or ever have been then you know how to deal with it. Sometimes you need to just listen and say nothing and then when the time is right you can talk. If she is frustrated trying to talk sense into her isn’t going to work..

As you can all imagine I am REALLLLLY good at this..

 

[Gambler Bob]

This may sound like another joke but it’s not. If you are married to a woman or ever have been then you know how to deal with it. Sometimes you need to just listen and say nothing and then when the time is right you can talk. If she is frustrated trying to talk sense into her isn’t going to work..

I know it was not supposed to be a joke but somehow all I can do is laugh. After 45 years on this planet I am still trying to learn how to do this and when to actually do this. Is there some kind of hand book or packet with instructions on how to talk to women?

 

[_MIA_]

I know it was not supposed to be a joke but somehow all I can do is laugh. After 45 years on this planet I am still trying to learn how to do this and when to actually do this. Is there some kind of hand book or packet with instructions on how to talk to women?

See my edit..I am hoping other people are better at it then I am..

 

[MoJo]

So, it took an embarrassingly long time for me to realize that I couldn't just talk her out of her feelings. I just needed to let her be herself. If she's in a bad mood, we pick a different day to work. If we're working and it isn't going well, we shut it down. It's been much better for both of us, and the work is still getting done.

Yep. Living it as well. So had to be hands off most times starting about 13 aka middle school. I am following a program that she is of the age where I can't relate. The mid teens is where girls drop out of sports and other activities at a very fast rate.

 

[PJR202]

Yep. Living it as well. So had to be hands off most times starting about 13 aka middle school. I am following a program that she is of the age where I can't relate. The mid teens is where girls drop out of sports and other activities at a very fast rate.

Yep. Our older daughter (17) is the total oppposite. Not much drama out of her. It probably made me complacent. The 15 year old has a savage side to her so she's tough in the circle and all, but lord she's a handful sometimes. Best kids ever though. Both of them.