How many of you quit coaching over the bull...?

[indianafp]

I wish I could say I have never experienced this, but I have except mine was in 8U. YES 8U. We at the time were a first time travel organization trying to grow and it was a first year 8U team. We had no "name" per say in the community or TB community but we were trying. So we went out and our first year was over .500 and placed second in a few tourney's all the while beating established organization. Fast forward to tryouts for 10U. (as we moved up). 3 out of 10 from that team showed up. WHY you ask, well..as I am told, the parents believed that now they have proved to themselves their daughters are good at TB, it's time to take them to a place with a NAME(after one year). You know...a reputation in state. So they did. So here is how they fair now. Three went to teams that played 136 game seasons as 10U. Well, those three no longer play softball. Even at Rec Level. Another went to a place their mom could be HC and is "loyal" too..whatever that means. Two had to find other teams because of their age difference to my team (they stayed down, no issue about that). Left me with 3 out of 10.
I did a rebuild. We got man handled my first year of 10U. But my core girls bought into my system of giving me time to build. I lost a couple of players because losing and gain four new ones. I am now a second year 12U. I have one player left from my original 8U team and 2 from my original 10U team because even though we got better, some couldn't wait and some it wasn't for them (TB that is). The last three years I have had the same 5 girls as my core and others have come and gone for different reasons. Some had drama among themselves within the parent group. Some got mad at me for one reason or another (I didn't do this, I did that) Some of my core did tryout for other teams..I think the quote was "The grass isn't always greener on the other side." That in itself made me feel better that maybe I was doing something right.
I guess my point is this. I get tired every year. This year has been the hardest yet for me to get rolling with. BUT, when I walked on the gym floor last night for my last practice until January 15th, I looked at all the girls and the smiles they had when they did something great or made a great play, and realized, this is why I do this. Now I am jazzed to get started after the first of the year.
You can't make everyone happy. At the end of the day, you have to look in the mirror and say, "I did the best I could for those girls." If you can say that, be damned what others think.

I know this is a football video but it sums it up quite nicely. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUwe-YAI0fY

02Crush, keep fighting the good fight.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I'm in this situation as a parent, we are with a no name org with a good coaching pedigree. We are sticking with it, something about helping an org grow and keeping the core group together just appeals to me and the overall experience is really positive for my girls so far.

 

[RetiredCoach]

You may notice that my username is 'RetiredCoach'. I got so fed up with the local organization last Spring
that I retired after having coached for many years. Some of the things that got me fed up was my oldest
daughter, even though she is independently ranked as the best pitcher in her age group, has never made
an "A" team because the "A" coaches daughter is a pitcher and would pale by comparison. My youngest
daughter, in spite of being one of the best pitchers in the state the previous year, was dropped from her
regular team. She had been hit in the face by a line drive while pitching and had a hard time coming back
from it and the coach ran out of patience. Fortunately, she did make a come back this previous summer
under a different coach.

Anyway, in spite of being offered a head coaching job last Spring I "retired" instead. However, due to some
pleading by an old friend, I will be coming "out of retirement" next Spring and helping him coach my oldest
daughters "B" team.

I think that the lesson is that you probably need to give yourself some time to relax and settle down. It's just
a fact that girls will move on, from time to time, and all the parents will never, ever, be totally happy, etc. And
we must realize that there is so much good and rewarding about coaching and we are truly giving a lot of the
girls, which is the most important part.

I know how you feel. I felt bad enough to quit. But I realize that I can do a lot of good by coming out of
retirement and helping my daughter and the other girls on the team. It took me sitting out a full summer
season to get there though. Let me know how it goes for you!
fun about coaching

 

[sarge117]

At the end of 2012, had a few players from our team (really a few parents) felt they had moved beyond our team and were ready to join a big name org.

Was a shot to our team for sure because we, like you, had to replace them with rec players who needed a lot of work.

Parents are of course entitled.

This year we faced the team they joined a bunch of times and beat them handily every time. Most times it wasn't close. Closest it ever got was 3 runs (but who's keeping track ;-) )

You just have to condition yourself for the fact that there will be turn over. And unfortunately sometimes parents like to shoot there way out. It is part of coaching.

Hang in there.

I definitely feel your pain.

 

[sarge117]

Just pulling my best Favre here I suppose.

No texting!!

 

[JJsqueeze]

please don't pull your Favre while posting.

 

[cuzmail]

OK, here are my thoughts. Remember you get back the same value you paid for these thoughts!

Tournament softball is no different than any other service related business.

The products tournament teams/organizations provide are training, coaching, and exposure to college programs. As with any other item on the market, the emphasis on each product is a little different from each vendor and can also be a little different from each individual retailer (team) within the franchise (organization).

Different families are looking for different versions of the product. Each family will be willing to compromise on certain things while others are absolutes. At the point that a family decides the product is not worth the cost associated, they will began to look for another provider. If your market share (number of players) drops below your target, then you have a decision to make. Are you going to change the formula of your product to capture and retain a larger market share or will you stick with and believe in your current product?

In other words, once a family becomes convinced that the services (product) they are receiving are not a value for the money they are spending they will make a change. Either they change the retailer (switch teams within an organization), vendor (switch organizations), or change their requirements and expectations with the current vendor.

Rambling over

 

[cuzmail]

The sad thing is that a good coach with credentials doing it the right way often loses customers to a used car salesman promising to win the world and play your kid every at bat in 10u and 12u. It creates an endless cycle, and yes coaches are quitting in large numbers as well. Teaching is so much more important than wins at that age.

Agree with above and add that some families have unrealistic product expectations.
See signature below.

 

[cmustangsfp]

Teaching is so much more important than wins at that age.

That is what I tell my parents. Sure, we could stock up with big girls that can hit it to the fence in 8U, but if those same girls can't make routine plays, what good is a one-sided offense when they give up as many or more on defense. If you want to win, go somewhere else. If you want your DD to learn fundamentals, teamwork and to have fun, while picking up wins, then you are welcome to stay.

 

[indianafp]

That is what I tell my parents. Sure, we could stock up with big girls that can hit it to the fence in 8U, but if those same girls can't make routine plays, what good is a one-sided offense when they give up as many or more on defense. If you want to win, go somewhere else. If you want your DD to learn fundamentals, teamwork and to have fun, while picking up wins, then you are welcome to stay.

This is so, so true.