so how do i get my daughter to push herself. she likes pitching and pretty good last season she is 13 and 5'10" 170 lbs. she throws 54-57 and has a good drop and change. how much do you push them?she sees a pitching coach because im just a bucket dad.
How get DD to push herself
- Thread starter leechristensen
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Pitchers who are "good" really like to pitch. They put in the time and do the work because they want to be good. It is impossible for a parent to force a kid to put in the work to be a good pitcher. She has to practice 4-5 times a week, 75 minutes a practice session, for 40 to 50 weeks a year. It is a huge commitment.
There is nothing magical about softball. It is just a silly game played by kids. So, a rational person could say, "It is crazy to put in so much time for this stupid game." And, a lot of kids do just that.
You and her need to have a real heart-to-heart discussion about what she wants out of life generally and softball specifically. At 13 YOA, you should be able to have a rational discussion with her. Does she want to play in college? Does she want to play rec ball in the summer and quit when she is 17? Once you figure that out, then you can set up some practice guidelines based upon what she wants.
You live on the West Coast. The best softball in the world is played in California. There are kids practicing 7 days a week, playing 200 games of softball a year, and going to the best coaches. She is going to have to work her buns off if she want to be "better than average". If she doesn't want to do the work (and, again, it is OK for someone to say, "I don't want to."), then she is going to get left behind in the dust.
Honestly--trying to be a pitcher in California and not wanting to do the work is like someone attending MIT and deciding she doesn't want to do the math homework. There isn't going to be a happy ending.
So, you need to ask her if she wants to be a pitcher. If she doesn't want to do the work, then she needs to find something else. Again, it is OK for her not to want to be a pitcher.
With my DD, I sometimes had to push her to start practicing. Once she started practicing, she was like a wild woman. I had to force her to stop--"Honey, they just turned the lights out, and I'm not going to catch you in the dark. We have to go!" And she would say, "No...I'm going to hit 60 MPH...I'm not leaving until I hit 60."
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- Nov 29, 2009
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Ray's response it dead on. My daughter was like his. She put in the work to get to the point she needed to be and then put in the work to maintain that level.
If your daughter doesn't have the drive there's only so much pushing you can do. Some kids need to be jump started. It sounds like you've done that with pitching lessons. The rest is up to her. She has to have the desire to improve and make the position hers.
At 13 she is at a very critical age. That is when most kids decide if they are going to play at a higher level or not.
What is she doing that you think should change? An activity level one parent might think is not pushing, another parent might see as obsessive.
What behaviors do you see that need to change? What is her workout schedule? What else is she involved in? Does she have a passion for pitching?
What behaviors do you see that need to change? What is her workout schedule? What else is she involved in? Does she have a passion for pitching?
CoachJ5513
BlueJ5513
Provide her with the best competition she can get, why work harder if you are dominating your rec league...
Provide ample opportunity to "work", the biggest shock to alot of "bucket Dads" is that they have to be as committed as DD...
Sit down and have HER set achievement goals for league, TB, Freshman, So., Jr., Sr. yr., and beyond.
Looking at averages, she has played over half of her softball career by age 13. That realization alone could "drive" her to extend that time.
Some girls can be pushed. Hearing Jenny Finch talk about her dad at one of her clinics she was pushed pretty hard. Some girls can't be pushed. My DD for example. She is motivated by positives rather than negatives.
You have to know the psychology of your kid. Coaches who understand the psychology of your child will get the most out of them. Those that don't will get the least.
You have to know the psychology of your kid. Coaches who understand the psychology of your child will get the most out of them. Those that don't will get the least.
No. Didn't say that at all. My DD is only pushed by positives usually. I think I said that, maybe not well though.
My DD is inspired to work harder after pitching a "better than usual" game or getting an "attagirl" from her coach. Not just a "good job" but a "Wow! Where did that come from? You were on fire!!" kind of attagirl. Of course those would be few and far between......but she can ride that momentum for weeks.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
Some times it takes taking a break from the activity to see if she misses it enough to want to go back and work at. It sounds like your daughter is a big strong girl. She may feel she can get by on just her size and strength. She may need to face a real good hitting team in order for her to realize she's going to have to work harder to get these types of hitters out.
Again, you are the best judge of your own daughter. The best anyone here can do is to give you general advice.
