how does one evaluate their kid vs the team and their future ?

[David Carter]

OK, if you feel the situation is not working out this is actually the perfect time to start looking else where. Fall ball is fast approaching and there are plenty of 10U teams that will be looking for players. I think what Coogans was trying to say is don't burn bridges with the organization just be frank with the coach and whoever the director is that you really want to develop your daughters skills but you simply can't do that because she is not getting any playing time.

The thing is 3 or 4 years from now when that coach is gone and the guy who might have been the second assistant on the team your DD is playing on is the HC now and you are not happy with the other team your DD is playing 14U or it folds you don't want them to say hey isn't that the crazy parent...you want them to say hey I remember them they left to get more playing time somewhere else looks like she has improved and the parents were "good" parents.

 

[Momo'sDad]

in the last game, with our team the visitors clearly headed to travesty, the bookcoach had 2 of our other nonplayers of the day, put their helmets on to bat. my girl asked "me too". he clearly shook her off, no! the batter in that spot my wife says was the hc daughter. we were down somrhing like 17-0 top of the inning.

you dont think anything wrong with that ? my bad for asking advice here i guess.

Coach was wrong and this one is non-negotiable. In a walkover, everyone plays.

 

[hacksaw]

david carter- u may be right. thanks.

coogan- rereading your post, sorry for mistaking your intent. appreciate much your advice.

momos dad- well thats the way i look at it. no matter the sport for that matter. thanks to u as well.

 

[CoogansBluff]

coogan- rereading your post, sorry for mistaking your intent. appreciate much your advice.

Sorry I wasn't clear. I hope you understand now that I was saying that to leave a team in this situation should not be cause for the coach to hold it against you. The fact that your assessment of your daughter's abilities doesn't match the coaching staff's is not relevant. It's the staff's philosophy of not giving playing time on a feeder team that is the deal-breaker. I'd support you in that.

 

[Sparky Guy]

hacksaw,

From reading your posts it sounds like the original HC of the team understood the purpose of the team. Develop the players. It sounds like the new HC is playing daddy ball. If the organization is as classy as you say it might be a good idea to have a discussion with those who run it. I will tell you this. If they don't hear anything from the parents they will assume all is well on the team. They don't go to every game and practice.

Don't go in there ranting. Explain the situation to them and go from there. Don't expect any satisfaction immediately. Most organizations will back the coach until they figure out things are not right. Then they may make some changes but don't bet the ranch on it.

If you can't get any satisfaction from them then it's time to look at different opportunities for your daughter. If you find something that seems like it's a better fit then tell them your reasons for leaving citing your reasons in a calm and thought out manner. Telling them "They suck!!!" is usually not the best way to go about it. Some organizations will not allow a player back once they leave. Others will. Do your homework and gather as much information as you can.

As a last ditch option it might not be a bad idea to speak to the coaches of the "A" team and ask him what your DD needs to work on to have a shot at the top team in the fall. Once you have that information start working it. If you don't know how to teach your DD the skills she needs then find someone who can. I know I wouldn't be able to teach even the basic fundamentals of boxing if I had a son or daughter who wanted to give the sport a go. There is nothing wrong with knowing your limitations about teaching a sport.

Just to let you know.. I'm heading towards my 8th year coaching 9 - 13's without a kid on the team.

Another FYI. It's usually better to stick with a strong organization who has the experience of running multiple teams at multiple age levels. You have a better chance when everyone is rowing in the same direction. A "new" team is usually a disgruntled parent who feels they can do it "better" than someone else. Most of the time "new" is synonym for "inexperienced" so be real careful. There are only so many mistakes you can make with her softball as a parent.

 

[fastpitch]

She is only 9. If she loves softball as much as you say she does this is just the beginning of her career. The softball community is a very small community. Be careful about being labeled "that parent" early. She may be one of the youngest and newer players on the team. I'd say if she was head and shoulders above the other players she would be at the position you see her at. If in the coaches opinion it was about even I can see them giving it to those who are older and have been there longer.

All that being said, most good teams you go to will only have one starting short stop or 2B. She may end up playing another position there too. Teach her to be happy wherever she plays. It will make her a better player in the long run.

Sorry. Short story. I know a girl who was a great 2B with a decent bat. That is the only position she ever played. Her team broke up and a few of her friends tried out for one of the top teams in the area. That team had a stud at 2B. With an even better Ss. This girl never learned to play outfield and was not selected for this team because she couldn't play another position. I guess the morale of the story is be much better than everyone else or learn another position.

She is only 9. Dont be that parent that seals his kids fate this early. Its only a month left. Tryout for another team in the fall. Make sure she can hit. Preferably switch her to lefty. If she can hit she will play.

 

[hacksaw]

hacksaw,

From reading your posts it sounds like the original HC of the team understood the purpose of the team. Develop the players. It sounds like the new HC is playing daddy ball. If the organization is as classy as you say it might be a good idea to have a discussion with those who run it. I will tell you this. If they don't hear anything from the parents they will assume all is well on the team. They don't go to every game and practice.

Don't go in there ranting. Explain the situation to them and go from there. Don't expect any satisfaction immediately. Most organizations will back the coach until they figure out things are not right. Then they may make some changes but don't bet the ranch on it.

If you can't get any satisfaction from them then it's time to look at different opportunities for your daughter. If you find something that seems like it's a better fit then tell them your reasons for leaving citing your reasons in a calm and thought out manner. Telling them "They suck!!!" is usually not the best way to go about it. Some organizations will not allow a player back once they leave. Others will. Do your homework and gather as much information as you can.

As a last ditch option it might not be a bad idea to speak to the coaches of the "A" team and ask him what your DD needs to work on to have a shot at the top team in the fall. Once you have that information start working it. If you don't know how to teach your DD the skills she needs then find someone who can. I know I wouldn't be able to teach even the basic fundamentals of boxing if I had a son or daughter who wanted to give the sport a go. There is nothing wrong with knowing your limitations about teaching a sport.

Just to let you know.. I'm heading towards my 8th year coaching 9 - 13's without a kid on the team.

Another FYI. It's usually better to stick with a strong organization who has the experience of running multiple teams at multiple age levels. You have a better chance when everyone is rowing in the same direction. A "new" team is usually a disgruntled parent who feels they can do it "better" than someone else. Most of the time "new" is synonym for "inexperienced" so be real careful. There are only so many mistakes you can make with her softball as a parent.

you are more right on than i can explain. anyways, there is a parents meeting today. i will keep my comments restricted to the team itself. i have made my point as you suggested already.

they admit to having somewhat shifted the focus of the team. i am told they wont improve unless they play better teams. "learning what the tourneys are like" they say. as a boxing coach i cetainly know what bringing your kids along vs better competition is all about. its a science. however in this case, there is a huge difference between losing games where its competive and the kids get to "muscle up" so to speak, vs getting blown out all weekend buy vastly superior teams. no group of 9yo benefit from being crushed so completely.
so that may be a philisophical difference that has to be refected on.

my personal anger issue about positions is supposedly being adressed. its now generally admitted my kid is the better infielder, but she is docked for not hitting. (even if her onbase percentage is an insane .600 or so). "she is a wonderful 2nd basemen, blah blah bla" lol.
the coaches made it the operating strategy of using the best 2 pitchers alternating as ss and pitcher. even if one of them is not very good- (my opinion)

the bottom line is they tried to play this tourney to win it. that was a completely unrealistic bad move imho and one that leads directly to these type of complaints.
the bottom line is communication has been improved. that gives me better info for making a call on whether to stay with this team. we will stay the next month anyways. and leave on good terms, even better terms, than if nothing was faced up to.

you are also correct on new organizations in general. i may fit that disgruntled parent image! LOL. but this new org is really a veteran baseball travel outfit with teams playing in top nationals for decades. they are moving into fastpitch, and they are from my home town, which really needs a void filled here with the girls.

 

[hacksaw]

nah, i will get back to u on this. u made good general sense. but its not actually to the specifics here.
will post later.

thank all!

 

[Sparky Guy]

this new org is really a veteran baseball travel outfit with teams playing in top nationals for decades. they are moving into fastpitch, and they are from my home town, which really needs a void filled here with the girls.

This is something you need to ask them. Do they have a plan for the next 4 years in place to move into travel softball? Do they have people in place who are experienced with travel softball? I know they do baseball, but they are two different animals who kinda look the same. If they don't don't have the next 4 years planned out they are doing nothing but stumbling blindly through a minefield. If they don't have dedicated, experienced softball people in place it will be a nightmare.

I went through the same thing over the last few years with a baseball driven organization who wanted to move their softball program into travel. I got involved with them and set up a plan that grew their travel softball in a way that was manageable. Everyone loved it. It wasn't 3 months later someone showed up with three teams and they took them all. It's been nothing but a huge headache since then. So I made the decision to leave there and move to a strictly softball program for next year and beyond.

Take some advice. Look for a softball only program for your daughter. I honestly think your frustration level now will only be a fraction compared to next year at this time if there is no experienced leader for the softball side of the program you're looking at. Be sure it's not a couple of dads who need/want to do something for their daughters. Again. You said the current program was "classy." I think if you give it a chance and learn more about how travel softball works you may find the fit is a good one for your dd.

You said the program your DD is involved with is a good one. As I said before, it may take some adjusting and learning on your part to the ways of travel softball. I have found over the years it's the 10U parents who have the hardest time making the adjustment.

 

[JAD]

If I had a good pitcher, I always put my best fielder in RF, because that is where all the balls went.

Whenever our #1 pitcher is throwing, we put our best OF in RF because most right handed batters cannot get around on the pitch and we typically throw on the outside half of the plate, so our 2B and RF get most of the plays. If batters are getting around on the pitcher we will move our best OF to LF.