How Do You Handle This..........

[TravelMomma]

My DD is on a newly formed 14U travel team. They played about 5 games in the fall just to give the girls a feel for the game. DD missed the first tournament due to academic committment. So last weekend was her first tournament. She is an aspiring 1st baseman, hours of individual practice, hours of team practice. The coach started her the 1st game of the tournament, not a single error playing the position. Second game the coach starts another player, who did fairly well, although some of the team doesn't feel comfortable with her at the position. When it came down to the 3rd game, same girl is starting and coach tells my DD that she is sitting the bench. DD ended up sitting the bench for the playoff and championship games as well. She was crushed, she honestly thought that she had done something wrong. How do I get her spirits up and get her ready for the tournament this weekend?

Team Facts:
Softball Nation Tournament with 5 teams 3GG & single elimination(unlimited defensive subs)
12 girls on the team

 

[starsnuffer]

At 14u, the first baseman is usually the kid that, while she can catch, isn't particularly quick and not a particularly great fielder, is usually left handed, and with the clear ability to knock the living snot out of the ball when she's up to bat. It isn't like in 10u and 12u where one of the better players is needed for 1B to get that out, that level of talent is simply assumed in 14u.

Was the girl who replaced her a stronger hitter? The offensive aspect may very well be why the coach put her on the bench, I noticed you didn't mention anything about offensive accomplishments in your post.

The fact that she only played 1 game all weekend does not bode well, and it would be worth your daughter having a conversation with the coach about her playing time. If the coach is plain with her and tells her why she was on the bench, and gives her a path to more playing time, it might be worth sticking around a while longer. If the coach is not plain with her and does not work with her on a plan, then you should walk away and find another team.

Your daughter's childhood is short, find a team that she'll get playing time for so she can enjoy it.

-W

 

[EP Dad]

There's nothing to add to what starsnuffer said. Good luck to your daughter.

 

[TravelMomma]

Thanks for the comments!

We live a very rural area and most of the other travel teams about an hour away have had their players since 10U, so finding another team that would take her would be hard pressed. DD is 14yr old, 5ft 8ins, and a solid 170lbs. She loves playing on this team and for the coach, best coach she has ever had.

DD didnt hit worth a crap this weekend, 1 for 4 during that game. The other player went 3 for 4 during the second game. The coach told my husband who is also keeps the books, that he benched her because he wanted to drop the batting lineup down to 9 batters. What I dont understand is why not play DD on first and let the other girl bat. Fair playing time is what I thought should have been done.

 

[Wookie]

I do not think you should leave the team as that sends not only a bad message to your daughter, but she and you made a commitment to the team, including the families. Are the other 3 players who did not get to play also considering leaving? What if you were on the other end - a true starter, and three girls left due to playing time - how would you feel in that situation?

I understand your need to get an explanation, and it sounds like you did, but instead of taking that info and deciding it's not what you want to hear and leave, maybe you should use it to motivate her and try harder to stay on the field. Fair playing time is not what travel ball, or any high level competition, is about. And I'm sure that in you or your husband's lives there has been times when things weren't "fair" but you didn't "quit" did you? If you want equal and fair playing time, play with your school team or your local rec league.

 

[fastpitch]

Is this a one day tournament with 3GG? Does that mean two seeding games into single elimination?

If so, the seeding games are when most coaches divide the playing time. Single elimination is when I'd say most travel coaches play to win and may need to sit someone to put the better bat in.

Just looking at it from a coaches POV. It's your first tournament with the team. You missed the first one. Usually the girls who miss on my team are the first options to sit. I wouldn't leave a team or even say anything just because of that. Be honest with yourselves. It might be a wake up call to get her to start working harder on hitting. Use it as motivation to get back into the lineup. This is the world of competitive softball where most play to win and its either sink or swim.

 

[TravelMomma]

Yes it was a 1 day tournament, 3GG, 2 seeding and single elimination.

We are definitely not leaving the team, DD loves the girls she plays with. This was her first tournament this season with the team, she played with them in the fall where all she did was DH. She is fine with any position or part she plays on the team. She really wants to play 1st base and is working her butt off to get the position, she just didnt understand at the time why she was benched.

She a fantastic batting practice tonite and all was well with the Coach. He actually took her aside and talked to her about last weekend and explained what he did.

Tournament this weekend Sat & Sun, 5GG!

 

[absdad]

she just didnt understand at the time why she was benched.

She a fantastic batting practice tonite and all was well with the Coach. He actually took her aside and talked to her about last weekend and explained what he did.

Sounds like you've got a good coach there. To pull your dd aside like that, after the emotion has subsided, and explain things.. that's a GOOD coach. In my years of being involved in this sport, not many do that. If she wants to play 1b, use that as a goal to continue working hard. And work on batting, lessons, whatever it takes. The worst thing that could possibly happen is she'll be a better player because of it.

 

[Lozza]

What I dont understand is why not play DD on first and let the other girl bat. Fair playing time is what I thought should have been done.

From your description it appears this girl did the job at first and batted fantastically. Your daughter did the job at first and batted badly. So the second girl got the go. At this age, the person playing best gets the game time, not fair playing time.

 

[TravelMomma]

Thanks to everyone for the comments and helping me understand a little more.

Yes, I agree her coach is fantastic! The best one she has ever had! And with 13 tournaments from now til Nationals in July, I am sure DD will only get better.