High School Daddy Ball

[Justafan]

What possible good do you think this would do? DO NOT involve the AD in playing time issues.

Ha! You must be the coach on your dd's team. Pretty sure I said I have not and would not talk to the coach or AD about playing time issues.

You came at that post pretty aggressive buddy as I'm just sharing the circumstances of a pretty bad situation for my dd.

And to answer your question, if I did go to the AD about getting real coaches, which I am not, but if I did, I would hope that he would step up and get some real coaches in like he does the other sports at the school.

 

[_MIA_]

And to answer your question, if I did go to the AD about getting real coaches, which I am not, but if I did, I would hope that he would step up and get some real coaches in like he does the other sports at the school.

Here are the 3 possible scenarios for why he currently doesn’t have competent softball coaches (assuming this is the case):

1) For whatever reason his hands are tied (no money, no availability, etc)

2) He’s clueless about what constitutes competent

3) He doesn’t care

In which one of these scenarios will you (I know you said you aren’t but we are just playing a little “what if” game) saying something about the competence of the coach have any influence over what he does? Maybe #2, assuming it isn’t combined with #3, but that also is more than likely the least possible scenario. If you are in a State where the pinnacle of women’s athletics is cheerleading, then it is probably #3…

 

[Orange Socks]

I got to watch my very last HS game with my kid involved. It was a glorious night. The team went 1-100 for the season, but won the last game from an 8-0 come from behind win. DD2's last AB was a hit, scored two runs and got the very last out on head's up double play. Even though I am the booster club President I never got involved with the coaches. In fact I was closest to the AD. She should have been in the line up every game as she was one of the few who could put the ball in play. At that point, I would prefer to sling food in the concessions rather than watch the 14th run rule in a row.

The only time I got involved was an email to the coach on behalf of DD1 for getting snubbed in the School's Award banquet. (2 weeks after school ended). She was a 3X First Team All District player and can't even get any recognition from her own school? That's okay she was awarded Team MVP last year for her college team. Suck it!!!

All this to say, don't wrapped around the axle with all this crap. Sounds like your DD is already having conversations with the coaches. She will get her time. It might not be this year, but it will happen. She will have her "Suck it!" moment at some point.

 

[_MIA_]

That's okay she was awarded Team MVP last year for her college team. Suck it!!!

Yeah I am sure they lost sleep over it..

 

[daywalkerdad]

Normally I am not one to go to a coach over anything. However, in this day and age most parents do and most coaches cater to that behavior. Meaning a parent that does not speak up tends to get the short end of the stick.
If you feel this is affecting her confidence or becoming a 2 against one.

I would discuss it with the “catchers” coach first.

Then discuss with the head coach. Have facts only make winnable arguments.
“Even though he is coaching, why does he coach his dd position?”
Site GameChanger, and you dd stats.
Show stats minus names and ask who should start.
Do not run down the player.

This may not help but you will have checked boxes. However you can take these arguments to the AD. “Did he want to coach last year?” “Why did he want to coach this year?” Volunteer to coach next year.
People tend to be narcissistic, so you need to tie it to the AD perspective. Like your son was really god at x sport how would you feel if I coached and played my average kid?

Good luck.

 

[Cannonball]

If, in fact, your dd is the superior catcher and the other catcher is hitting .000 then your dd should be able to ask the HC to sit down and have a discussion. I can't imagine why a coach in an upper-division school would be playing such an inferior player even if there were the daddy factor given the importance of the catching position.

IMO, your dd should ask to talk to the HC. In doing so, mention that she is getting mixed signals. She was told she was the starter and now she isn't. She feels she is producing and wants the HC to know she is frustrated. She should ask the HC where he views her role on the team and if she has a future at the catching position. Once that is answered if he says not as a catcher, she needs to let him know that she really would appreciate an opportunity to play another position. From there, she has done all that she can do. This advice is what I would expect from my players and they know that I am brutally honest when talking to them.

I do admit that I have never coached at a private school. I am sure that there are other factors in play that I don't know about. Where I coach, if you don't win, you lose your job.

 

[Ronan1001]

I need your advice and also just perhaps want to rant a little. My DD is a Sophomore catcher / utility. She plays travel ball on a team that played in the PGF Premier nationals last year. They aren't the best team out there but play some high level ball. I tend to be realistic about my DD's abilities. She is the second catcher on her travel team and that is fair, the other catcher is definitely better than her. She plays in the field (3rd and OF). Last year her high school team was chock full of seniors and even though she was better than the starting catcher according to many people including the coaches, she sat the bench. GC says she played 11 innings while the senior played 100+. It was disappointing as my DD needs experience, she's playing catch up but we all understood it. Fast forward to this year. There are no seniors on the team and only 3 juniors. She was told at the beginning of the season that she is the starting catcher. There is a freshman catcher whose dad joined the coaching staff and in fact is "in charge" of the catchers. The freshman is seeing a lot of playing time and lately more and more. She has a lot of work to do to be able to play at this level, you feel for her as she digs herself in a hole. It's been so bad she has been pulled mid-inning. My DD is clearly the better catcher. We at first thought they were playing her only against the weaker teams but she started yesterday against one of the toughest teams in the league while my DD sat. One other note, the freshman has gotten to try other positions when not at catcher but has failed significantly at them with many errors and the coach has said cost the game on several occasions. My DD has a lot of experience at positions in the field because she is second catcher on the travel team, but never gets puts in the field when not catching. Also, it's not a case of hitting. The freshman catcher has the worst BA on the team and a 000 batting average against higher level pitching. The whole situation has been extremely frustrating to my DD as she feels she put her time in as a freshman sitting the bench while this freshman is being given chances because her dad is a coach. The other note is that the other starters always play, even against the weaker teams. Even when the starting pitcher (who is the head coach's daughter) is not pitching, she is playing. It seems my DD is getting the shaft to help out the assistant coach's DD.

My question for you is do I bring this up to the athletic director? It is very obvious daddy ball that should not be tolerated in high school. It's a private school with a pretty put together sports program. I'm especially concerned that the freshman catcher's dad is in charge of the catchers so not certain how my DD is being treated here. Part of me wants to go and fight for her and the other part is just resigned to the fact that it's just high school ball and there's not much to be done. Life isn't fair. Thanks in advance for your advice!

I would not stand by if I saw unfairness. However, is it an unfairness? You have to be 100% sure.
Either way, it would be a good idea to have a peaceful conversation with the coach who puts the catcher on. Maybe he doesn't see as much potential in your DD as you do.

 

[Cougars]

Our schools AD makes it very clear that playing time issues are not up for discussion. That is the coaches decision. Your daughter might be a senior signed to play with oklahoma, and she’s losing playing time to a freshman that hasn’t played past rec ball before. Coaches decision.

That said, the AD has been open to discussion regarding other issues in the past. Conduct, etc.

 

[Lance Steckler]

it truly sucks to have ANY player going thru this. I've seen it both ways however. the Rose colored glasses parent, and the blatant daddy ball head coach , assistant coach, booster chair, etc.

actual example, player X tries out and makes JV for 9th and 10th grade, and then varsity 11th to ride pine, and then 1b for senior year. Meanwhile, she is LOCKDOWN SS and 2b for my 18u travel team junior and senior years. (and now SS/ 2B in college) solid lead off / #2 batter. BUT head coach's DD plays SS and assistant coach plays 2b. both have linguine arms and bat sub 200 for all 4 seasons. And when both girls graduate, both coaches leave. Gee, no daddy ball there at all. SMH

 

[nixxy311]

I just find it odd that a parent is even coaching a HS team - wouldn't a private school be able to afford to get actual coaches? Is the coach going to leave once his daughter graduates? At least in our school you have to be a teacher as well in order to coach.

We never had daddy ball on our school teams but def had a coach who played favorites. No matter how many errors they made or how badly they hit - there were always girls who NEVER sat.