Have you ever influenced a player to move on?

[Huskerdu]

Just curious, I have a player here in Salt Lake City that is uncoachable, she doesn't listen to instruction hitting, pitching, or throwing (she doesn't have a personal coach for any of these). Her dad has asked why she isn't playing the position she wants, and after our games this week he told some of our families that he is ticked off and is pulling his daughter out. She doesn't hit, doesn't lift up her team, and she doesn't hustle either.

I thought she would really improve and become an integral part of the team but I was really wrong. This is for a first year competitive team 12u.
I thought I would have an email by now with their resignation but I have yet to hear from him.

Have any of you had players that were selected during tryouts, but they have become a detriment to your team?

 

[marriard]

I think anyone who has coached any sport for any period of time has run into this on occasion. It happens. My DD was on a team last year where one of her teammates was clearly nuts. She insulted other players, refused to bat on one occasion, wouldn't warm up between innings with one player because she was 'mean to her', etc, etc... She actually was a good hitter and a reasonable fielder but boy was it a much better team environment when she was gone.

This is one of the reasons I have a Parents Code, a Coaches code and a Player code that everyone signs before the season starts (plus a parent meeting to discuss the team including these codes). That way it is all spelled out including what happens when you decide to break the code. Depending on what happens the coaching staff has absolute authority when it comes to these things. We generally do a warning/suspension/gone but sometimes it is warning/gone or sometimes it is player OK/dad can no longer attend practice/games.

I know it is tempting to avoid conflict and give them several additional chances, but when a player has to go I always look at it as being fair to EVERYONE ELSE ON THE TEAM. On the rare occasion that it has happened to teams I was coaching, the team was better for it when it was over. You will find another player if you do need to replace them.

 

[Huskerdu]

This is one of the reasons I have a Parents Code, a Coaches code and a Player code that everyone signs before the season starts

Good post, thanks. We also have a code of conduct form we have the parents sign, but no where in the form does it have a participation or sportsgirlship or non-whining clause, I thought that would be implied.

 

[quincy]

Softball is a Team sport.

Occasionally Players are wound up in the game and say things they should not but from my experience they will apologize, usually twice. Once in the field when they settle down and then again in the dugout when they are even more settled. The good players know they need their teammates and try to bring the best out of them by encouraging them.

A negative player, you mentioned does not hustle or listen, refund their money and ask them to move on.

 

[Sparky Guy]

A negative player, you mentioned does not hustle or listen, refund their money and ask them to move on.

There are no refunds. I put that on everything money related that is handed out to the parents.

If this girl is as bad as you say then it's time to have a talk with her, her parents, the other coaches and yourself. You do all the talking for the team. Do not let the other coaches into the conversation. They are there to keep the parents from twisting your words. When you do that do not speak in generalities. Make sure you cite specific examples and if you addressed them or not with the player. I will guarantee the parents will pull out the "compare" card and try to compare their DD to other kids on the team. Keep the conversation strictly about their daughter.

Give very specific expectations about behavior and effort or lack thereof with specific consequences for any infractions. DO NOT allow and grey areas. If you do you'll get beat to death with it.

 

[sluggers]

Gotta disagree with Sparky on this one....

If the coach made a mistake, which in this case sounds like he did, then he should give the money back. It is pretty clear that the problem is her lack of athletic ability, not her lack of "hustle".

She doesn't hit, doesn't lift up her team, and she doesn't hustle either.

Sorry...that is just a rationalization.

In other words: "We took a bunch of money from the kid's parents. We evaluated the kid at practice. We were wrong. The kid has no talent and therefore doesn't play. And, unbelievably, she isn't real enthusiastic about having the honor to sit on the bench!"

This is the old, "Even if you sit the bench, you should support your team" crap. Come on...this is travel ball. The parents paid to put the kid on the team.

If you made the mistake to put the kid on the team, then you should be adult enough to go to parent and say, "I'm sorry. We made a mistake. Here is your money back."

 

[marriard]

Gotta disagree with Sparky on this one....

If the coach made a mistake, which in this case sounds like he did, then he should give the money back. It is pretty clear that the problem is her lack of athletic ability, not her lack of "hustle".

We rarely give money back (clearly stated in our codes/team documents) - but then we have never cut a player mid-season purely for lack of ability especially if they are trying hard and being part of the team. Continuing efforts to disrupt the team, parents going off and other such actions is not going to get any money back from our program.

In twenty odd-years of coaching various sports, we have had some mutual parting of ways which did lead to a partial refund. In these cases both the coaching staff and the parents/player were all in agreement and it was agreed it was a good situation for all involved. Very calm, well discussed and mutually beneficial to all.

I agree with Sparky - you must be prepared when you have the conversations that will have to happen.You also can't lose your cool no matter what happen with these conversations. I tend to document examples (time, when, who, how often, etc) so I have a written record of what I want to discuss.

 

[chinamigarden]

Gotta disagree with Sparky on this one....

If the coach made a mistake, which in this case sounds like he did, then he should give the money back. It is pretty clear that the problem is her lack of athletic ability, not her lack of "hustle".



Sorry...that is just a rationalization.

In other words: "We took a bunch of money from the kid's parents. We evaluated the kid at practice. We were wrong. The kid has no talent and therefore doesn't play. And, unbelievably, she isn't real enthusiastic about having the honor to sit on the bench!"

This is the old, "Even if you sit the bench, you should support your team" crap. Come on...this is travel ball. The parents paid to put the kid on the team.

If you made the mistake to put the kid on the team, then you should be adult enough to go to parent and say, "I'm sorry. We made a mistake. Here is your money back."

I agree with Slugger's entire post.

I thought she would really improve and become an integral part of the team but I was really wrong. This is for a first year competitive team 12u.

This line from the OP tells me that you knew this girl wasn't all that good to begin with. Don't "Influence" her to move on. Either tell them to move on, or don't.

 

[SoCalASABlue]

Cut her and refund the money. Cleanest way for everyone to move on. But this also cracks me up - you're SURPRISED an 11/12 year old has attitude and is rebelling against authority?? Trying not to hard to read between the lines but it sounds like the real problem is somewhere in the middle between the rebellious pre-teen and team management/coaching. JMHO.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I have a player here in Salt Lake City that is uncoachable, she doesn't listen to instruction hitting, pitching, or throwing (she doesn't have a personal coach for any of these).

If the coach made a mistake, which in this case sounds like he did, then he should give the money back. It is pretty clear that the problem is her lack of athletic ability, not her lack of "hustle".

Sluggers,

The OP says NOTHING about ability. It is ALL about the attitude of the player. The coach clearly states she will not listen to instruction.

Her dad has asked why she isn't playing the position she wants, and after our games this week he told some of our families that he is ticked off and is pulling his daughter out

If you made the mistake to put the kid on the team, then you should be adult enough to go to parent and say, "I'm sorry. We made a mistake. Here is your money back."

My interpretation is she wants to be handed a position without working for it and daddy is mad because the coach is making her earn anything she gets on the field.

Yes, the coach may have made a mistake putting the kid on the team. But, the player is not putting forth any effort to try and improve. Hence, why make it easy to leave? No refunds.

I agree. If the player tried and just didn't have it then give them a refund and wish the player well.

Had a player like this last year. She was a Big Dog in rec. Came to travel and was mad she wasn't playing SS. After the 2nd fall ball tournament she realized just how far behind she was and did a 180. She shut up and started working. She is still one of the weaker kids on the team but the effort and desire to improve is there and she IS improving. Thought about cutting her this season but decided to give her another opportunity to continue to develop and she is still working hard.

The step dad is great. The dad is an idiot. Luckily, dad is not around much.