Frustrating Season

[Riseball Rusty]

DD just finished up her 2nd season of High School ball on the JV team. She has been pitching since she was 6 years old and has always been a very good pitcher. She throws in the mid-fifty's and moves the ball up and down the strike zone and changes speeds well. I have keep stats for all the teams games and she clearly has the best numbers of all our pitchers. DD threw the best game of her life ( 10 K's, fielded two ground ball to throw the runners out at first and caught a pop up ) She acounted for 13 of the 21 outs. The next day at practice the other pitchers were told to go practice with the varsity. When practice was ending DD asked the coach if she was still pitching and the coach said "yes, why do you ask". DD asked why she didn't get to go work with the varsity to which the coach said " because the other pitcher are doing better then you". DD said how could this be, she just had a 10 strikeout game!. Coach said "No you didn't". DD said "yes I did, look at the book and you will see I had 10 K's". Coach said "well I'll have to look to make sure". DD came back to the car in tears! I was beside myself. I confront the coach the next day at the end of practice. I told her that DD came back to the car crying very upset because of what you told her yeasterday. I said I couldn't believe that she as the coach didn't know DD had a 10 strikeout game. She was very defensive and said that we don't go by stats. DD has been working very hard for the last few years and had gone unnoticed because coach plays favorites with players and thier parents. No other pitcher has had close to a double digit strikeout game this year. DD has not lost a game this season. The other pitcher have lost 3 games each. Every time I express my concerns about how DD is being treated the coach gets defensive and DD gets less palying time. Many of the other players on the team have told DD she is being treated unfair and they all know she has been the best pitcher this season. I have been pitching fastpitch softball for 30 years and have more knowledge than any of the High school coaches. The so called High school pitching coach has never pitch a game in his life. In fact, he can't even throw a ball underhand and the only experience any of the coaches have is when they played high school ball. I just get frustrated with the politics and favoritism. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?




Our team plays double headers and in the first game the coach starts the players SHE FEELS are the best players.

 

[chinamigarden]

DD just finished up her 2nd season of High School ball on the JV team. She has been pitching since she was 6 years old and has always been a very good pitcher. She throws in the mid-fifty's and moves the ball up and down the strike zone and changes speeds well. I have keep stats for all the teams games and she clearly has the best numbers of all our pitchers. DD threw the best game of her life ( 10 K's, fielded two ground ball to throw the runners out at first and caught a pop up ) She acounted for 13 of the 21 outs. The next day at practice the other pitchers were told to go practice with the varsity. When practice was ending DD asked the coach if she was still pitching and the coach said "yes, why do you ask". DD asked why she didn't get to go work with the varsity to which the coach said " because the other pitcher are doing better then you". DD said how could this be, she just had a 10 strikeout game!. Coach said "No you didn't". DD said "yes I did, look at the book and you will see I had 10 K's". Coach said "well I'll have to look to make sure". DD came back to the car in tears! I was beside myself. I confront the coach the next day at the end of practice. I told her that DD came back to the car crying very upset because of what you told her yeasterday. I said I couldn't believe that she as the coach didn't know DD had a 10 strikeout game. She was very defensive and said that we don't go by stats. DD has been working very hard for the last few years and had gone unnoticed because coach plays favorites with players and thier parents. No other pitcher has had close to a double digit strikeout game this year. DD has not lost a game this season. The other pitcher have lost 3 games each. Every time I express my concerns about how DD is being treated the coach gets defensive and DD gets less palying time. Many of the other players on the team have told DD she is being treated unfair and they all know she has been the best pitcher this season. I have been pitching fastpitch softball for 30 years and have more knowledge than any of the High school coaches. The so called High school pitching coach has never pitch a game in his life. In fact, he can't even throw a ball underhand and the only experience any of the coaches have is when they played high school ball. I just get frustrated with the politics and favoritism. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?




Our team plays double headers and in the first game the coach starts the players SHE FEELS are the best players.

I have had a frustrating season as well. I have actually really cut back on my visits to this forum because I didn't want to post about it.

I only have one question for you. Who do you think should be deciding which players play? I mean if you are upset that the coach makes these decision based on who she feels is best, who do you think should be doing it? Game line ups are based on more then just game performance, yeah that might not seem right. But often times its fair. Does your dd make every practice? Does dd participate in every aspect of the practice or is she strictly a pitcher? How does she interact with the other girls... There are a lot of things that go into perception. Not all are fair but they are mostly something the player can change.

 

[BaldNBeautiful]

I confront the coach the next day at the end of practice. I told her that DD came back to the car crying very upset because of what you told her yeasterday......... Every time I express my concerns about how DD is being treated the coach gets defensive and DD gets less palying time....... I have been pitching fastpitch softball for 30 years and have more knowledge than any of the High school coaches. The so called High school pitching coach has never pitch a game in his life. In fact, he can't even throw a ball underhand and the only experience any of the coaches have is when they played high school ball. I just get frustrated with the politics and favoritism. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

I don't know if you are wrong or not to feel the way you feel. But "Confronting the coach after practice" is not the way to handle it.
IMHO you need to back off and let your child handle the interactions with the coaches. Use your experience and knowledge to coach up your child and help her improve.

 

[lstorie1971]

Every time I express my concerns about how DD is being treated the coach gets defensive and DD gets less palying time.

This makes it seem like you have been in the coach's ear a good bit. She may be sending you a message at the expense of your daughter, which is not right but certainly possible.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I just get frustrated with the politics and favoritism. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

What exactly are the politics in this case, and why isn't your daughter the coach's favorite pitcher if she has the best stats?

These things do happen in HS sports, but it's hard to comment without watching it or getting the coach's side. Are the other pitchers being called up to pitch on varsity? Maybe they are better fits as all-around players for the varsity than your daughter. Is your daughter pitching against the same teams that they have pitched against? On our middle school team this season, the best stats belonged to the #3 pitcher. She threw one no-hitter and another seven-inning game in which we won 2-1. But her starts were against the weakest teams in the conference.

But my main question is - Why is your daughter not one of the coach's favorites? All coaches have favorites. Nothing automatically wrong with that as long as they are favorites for the right reasons.

 

[Coach JV]

School ball sometimes is more about politics than talent

 

[Hit by the Pitch]

I am surprised that the ex-football player does not know much about softball, you must live in my area.

Sometimes you need to be so good, and a good teammate, that you cannot be ignored.

DD’s HC knows she belongs to me but I have only talked to him once when I said thanks at the end of the season.

Your passion might be interfering with your DD, maybe settle down and see what happens next year.

 

[PA SB Dad]

In HS, it is time to let go and let your DD fight her own battles. It does her no good to believe that every time she feels slighted, that you are going to step in and "take care of things". You are doing more immediate and long-term harm than good.

I would consider a few things.
1. If the other pitchers were sent up to practice with the Varsity, who do you think makes that decision? I can't imagine the JV coach makes the decision - more likely the Varsity coach asks for specific players and the JV coach sends them up. Giving the JV coach an earful about that is a useless exercise and only reinforces the perception that you are a crazy parent.
2. Stats in a JV game are useless because the level of competition varies so much school to school. What if another pitcher, who might be less talented than your DD, had thrown a "perfect game" against a very weak opponent. Does that earn her the right to be the #1 pitcher ahead of your DD? Or do other things play in to the decision regarding playing time? Your DD got 10 K's in a game, which is something to be proud of. But if it came against a weak opponent, I as a coach wouldn't have paid any attention to that stat. I would have concentrated more on the number of walks. Be grateful she got an opportunity to shine and give her confidence, but success in one game does not guarantee that she automatically moves up the totem pole ahead of the other players.
3. Politics and favoritism is a part of life, even in HS softball. The way you help your DD learn to navigate the process will be more valuable to her than you greasing the skids for her by complaining to the coaches.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

I have told my DD this many times .... "Make yourself so good that they cant afford to take you off the field". This will eliminate any politics or favoritism. If you are equal or just slightly better than another player , then those things have an opportunity to happen

 

[Rooster98]

While I see your frustration, you approaching the coach was the probably not the best idea at all. Your daughter is a sophmore, more than able to fight for herself. While you may see it as the coach playing favorites, the coach may see it different. Have you seen every practice or sat through any of them. No way, no how would I approach a coach at the HS level to discuss playing time. Physical/mental abuse bully behavior sure.....Not playing time and I would of emailed or called and asked for a time to meet so they were not surprised if I was wishing to talk with them. This is her battle, not yours. If she wants to play she has to be seen doing everything at 100%.