Focus seems to be changing...

[Coach-n-Dad]

maksoftball, I'm thinking it's mostly you... Don't feel bad though, we all go through it and we all GET through it.

When MY DD was 14, she was recruited to an 18 Gold team (yes, recruited by the HC). She struggled during the first tournament of the season and the HC played her very very little for the rest of the season. I felt horrible for her but let things play out. We went to Colorado and she played 5 innings total and we went to Oregon and she sat on the bench the entire tournament. DW and I didn't make a big deal out of it and DD was bummed that she didn't play, but in the long run the experience made her tougher.

As a frosh, when she tried out for her HS team, DW and I both told her to try hard and play where coach says to play. She pitched in the first JV tournament and dominated so completely that the JV coach sent her to Varsity, telling her that she wouldn't have any fun at JV. DW and I told her the same thing again, try hard and play where coach says to play. Her first outing with Varsity was in nasty weather, raining sideways at times and cold cold cold. Blue was determined to let the game go on as long as the field didn't get unsafe. The Varsity starting pitcher didn't want to pitch in the cold rain so DD got her shot, she pitched a no hitter and showed coach she had what it takes. 2 tournaments later, she secured the starting spot, as a frosh and that hadn't happened in 10 years under that coach.

Try not to let it get to you unles your DD comes to you in tears and she is getting hurt physically or mentally. You might be surprised at how grown up she is and how well the situation turns out.

Good luck and keep us updated!

 

[RubberBiscuit]

maksoftball, I'm thinking it's mostly you... Don't feel bad though, we all go through it and we all GET through it.

When MY DD was 14, she was recruited to an 18 Gold team (yes, recruited by the HC). She struggled during the first tournament of the season and the HC played her very very little for the rest of the season. I felt horrible for her but let things play out. We went to Colorado and she played 5 innings total and we went to Oregon and she sat on the bench the entire tournament. DW and I didn't make a big deal out of it and DD was bummed that she didn't play, but in the long run the experience made her tougher.

As a frosh, when she tried out for her HS team, DW and I both told her to try hard and play where coach says to play. She pitched in the first JV tournament and dominated so completely that the JV coach sent her to Varsity, telling her that she wouldn't have any fun at JV. DW and I told her the same thing again, try hard and play where coach says to play. Her first outing with Varsity was in nasty weather, raining sideways at times and cold cold cold. Blue was determined to let the game go on as long as the field didn't get unsafe. The Varsity starting pitcher didn't want to pitch in the cold rain so DD got her shot, she pitched a no hitter and showed coach she had what it takes. 2 tournaments later, she secured the starting spot, as a frosh and that hadn't happened in 10 years under that coach.

Try not to let it get to you unles your DD comes to you in tears and she is getting hurt physically or mentally. You might be surprised at how grown up she is and how well the situation turns out.

Good luck and keep us updated!

WOW - this is basically EXACTLY the same story my DD has. I also believe the season made her very strong in the end.

 

[maksoftball]

Thank you, everyone, for your replies. I admit that, even though I have "backed off", I am still too emotionally involved. LOL. So...I am changing my tune, and have had pep talk with DD. "From here on out, all I care about is you. As long as you put in 200% AND are happy, then I will support that..." So we shall see how this goes.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Thank you, everyone, for your replies. I admit that, even though I have "backed off", I am still too emotionally involved. LOL. So...I am changing my tune, and have had pep talk with DD. "From here on out, all I care about is you. As long as you put in 200% AND are happy, then I will support that..." So we shall see how this goes.

This is the best thing I've read here for a long time.

 

[Indiana]

I agree ^^^^. Regarding high school, it is very common for the coaches to put players in various spots to get a look. I wouldn't worry about your daughter pitching with little/no notice - that is the type of challenge that will make her stonger. I would watch the summer team carefully. The summer season is so much longer than the HS season and a lot can be gained or lost from the coaching and the environment. I believe that HS is the time for overcoming challenges and being the best that you can be in the environment that you are given. Summer season is about you and your DD choosing the right fit for her as a player - the best possible environment where she can grow as a softball player. It's just a game - and given that, we shouldn't put too much pressure on a game to teach life lessons. Yes, one can learn to be a terrific teammate, to work hard for playing time, to take pride in working for goals, but all of that can be done in a positive environment of one's choosing.

 

[Scl1991]

As someone who has a DD that played 13 years of softball, 8 of those in travel ball,plus 2 years of middle school ball and 4 years of high school ball, I will say this: it's not an easy process. They will have highs and lows, fantastic experiences and horrible ones. They will meet wonderful coaches and teammates and families, and they will meet horrible excuses for human beings. And we, as parents, experience all those emotions with them, and frequently, worse than they do. But let her be happy and she will learn something from the process and will emerge on the other side a better person. Really.

 

[CoogansBluff]

"From here on out, all I care about is you. As long as you put in 200% AND are happy, then I will support that..."

I wouldn't even say ''as long as you put in 200%.''

For me, it's up to my daughter to decide her level of commitment. It's her hobby. If she's not giving her best effort, she will get natural consequences and make her decisions based on that. IMO, that's how kids learn and mature, by making their own decisions (when practical). Not when we withhold our approval of their decisions. What if you just said, 'As long as you're happy?'