Delusional Parents

[NoGolfTil2017]

Not sure how to address this without hurting feelings, crushing dreams, or being deemed crazy...

There are parents on my kid's travel team that truly think that their kids can play at the State Flagship U. This is a large university and most of the players come from out of state. Currently the U has one freshman, one sophomore and one senior from in state. I know the sophomore - my eldest played on a team with her (though my eldest was by no means D1 material).

They also think that their kids will earn academic scholarships at certain schools because they are "A" students. Now I don't know the SAT scores of every kid on the team (many have not taken SATs yet), but I am pretty sure that they won't get the big merit scholarships from the schools they are talking about. I looked up stats of kids who have won these scholarships and the lowest SAT score I saw was 2250.

My kid is one of the weaker players on the team and I already have been brushed off when I commented about the importance of SAT scores (parent said the coach said they hardly even look at SAT scores, just GPA). I know that is not true as my eldest and many of her friends applied to the school in question last year.

I guess I should discuss with the coach, and maybe he can let them down gently/redirect them. He would agree with everything I have said as we have had some prior conversations about college (mainly about academics). What do you suggest?

 

[James Smith]

Maybe ask the (College) coach, or AC, to speak in a parent’s only meeting? Have them pull along an academic adviser, if they want to listen great, if not oh well.

 

[CoachKevin]

I've got somewhat the same, but different issue. It's actually the players. One in particular is set on trying to go to a major D1 - She told me that she emailed the coach. I asked OK, have you researched the HC? Look up his name and see what he has done, then go on to the team profiles and look at each player and see what they have done. I was trying to steer her to realize that she can't compete with these girls. Not sure if she actually gets it... how do I tell her There is no way you are going to be able to play for that University?

As far as the OP - Yes let the coach handle it

 

[Amy in AZ.]

When I coached at a small college, I never saw the girl's HS grades, all I saw was the ACT scores. It wouldn't have mattered if they were 4.0 in HS. I needed to see 25s and above on the ACT. (In IL. the ACT, is quite common.)

I had a young lady come to lessons one day and her dad said "Tell her where you want to go to college." She said Oklahoma. The first throw to me went sailing over my head.

I can tell the D1 type girls. They are the ones with their school books in the back seat and the ones that I see out running at 6AM.

 

[Rocketech1]

I guess I should discuss with the coach, and maybe he can let them down gently/redirect them. He would agree with everything I have said as we have had some prior conversations about college (mainly about academics). What do you suggest?

Unless you are one of the coaches, I wouldn't say anything because you will be perceived as sour grapes because your DD is one of the weaker players on the team and will likely not be offered a scholarship to the U, similar to your eldest DD who applied. Frankly, if the parents and players do not know what is required of them to get a softball scholarship than there is not much you can or should do. Continue to prepare your DD both academically and athletically and things will fall into place, one way or another. Good luck.

 

[sluggers]

Tell them that if they need any help or guidance, you are available. Beyond that, forget it.

The old saying, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" is unfortunately true.

 

[NoGolfTil2017]

Thanks for the responses.

Just to clarify, eldest did not apply to State U with the intention of playing softball. She was accepted and received a modest merit scholarship. She did have some DIII schools interested in her, including two listed on College Confidential's top LAC list. She was not interested in those schools, and she is attending elsewhere (and playing club ball). I think these other parents need to go on College Confidential to get an idea of the academics at various schools - and I need to stop reading the College Confidential stuff (I waste a lot of time on there).

 

[Scl1991]

It seems like too many parents, and kids, tend to think that their DDs can play at a much higher level than they can, and they also believe that being a student athlete will allow them to get into any school, regardless of their academic levels.

 

[KCPRK]

While I agree with the sentiment here lets flip it.

Who are we to take or crush dreams of a kid. The journey will teach them many lessons and even not getting into that D1 school will teach them life lessons too.

And the ones that show up with a backpack AND a gear bag-they get it. If they dont pull out a notebook when Im teaching or at practice then they dont get it YET. Learn the game just like youd learn a job.

 

[NoGolfTil2017]

I agree that we shouldn't crush dreams, but some kids may be missing out on colleges that would be a good fit if they were more realistic about their situation. If they do have a shot, they should try for that school - my eldest applied to a number of schools that would be an academic reach for anyone. While her stats were in range, they were on the low end (1460 M+V SAT, 32 ACT). She was rejected from all of those reach schools. She ended up at a school that is great for her major and she is very happy there, but she applied to safety and match schools, not just the reaches. I'm concerned that some of these kids are looking only at reaches or worse yet, something beyond a reach. You don't have to go to a big D1 program to play softball and you can get a good education at a school that isn't an Ivy.