DD not getting playing time

[murphdog]

There is such a huge difference maturity wise between most 11 yr olds and most 13 yr olds that I wouldn't even think of having a 11 yr old play up unless she was so dominant at 12U that she needed to be challenged to get better. Playing up and still starting games is one thing but playing up an warming the bench is completely another.
I would look and see if any 12U teams near you are looking for a catcher and go from there. If not then finish out the summer and have her try out for teams with girls her own age. It sounds like this coach just wanted to fill his roster (although 14 players is a bit too many anyway).

 

[YOCOACH]

I can't tell you how many times I have seen this happen. The HC of TB team "A" is looking for the best players they can reasonably get no matter the age. They select an under-aged player then player "X" doesn't meet the expectations of the coach. Now, in an effort to make player "X" work harder to achieve the coach's expectations, they have them riding the pine to send the subtle message that they need to work harder to get on the field. This is a failure on both your and the HC 's parts. Yours for allowing your DD to join a team that 1) is older than she should be playing 2) that will not develop her skills and knowledge further and 3) where she is not in the top 1/3 of the players to make sure the HC has no choice but to play her. It's the HC's fault for taking a quality player away from her age group where she could be further developing her skills and game knowledge, for having high expectations that may not be reasonably met by this player and for not developing this player by at least giving her a decent amount of PT. Now you know the mistakes made, fix it. Take your DD to another TB team at the end of the season. That said, it's never too early to send out feelers even now. Tryouts in our neck of the woods start in about 5 weeks so it's not that far away.

 

[grcsftbll]

For us a big downside of playing up is the social aspect. I'd play my daughter one year up, like on an 05 team for an 06 kid. That's about the most I'd do I think. It's harder to develop a camaraderie with the team with much more of an age difference at this age.

 

[texas4life]

I agree you need to leave this team move down to a 12u team to give your daughter a true chance to compete.

 

[MNDad]

I agree with others that you should run away now, but for different reasons. It’s cancerous for a team to have parents complaining about playing time, criticizing other kids and letting everyone know how much better their DD is. Leave now and save the team a headache.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

OP - You need to go find yourself a mirror and look into it for awhile. When you start to get a bit uncomfortable staring at yourself, reach up and smack yourself on the side of the head and repeat after me: "You dumba**! You just screwed your own DD out of an entire year of development because of your own ego. You need to fix this right now!"

Then, stare in the mirror a bit longer until you start feeling uncomfortable again. Then, reach up and smack yourself again. That one is for me.

 

[canyonjoe]

For us a big downside of playing up is the social aspect. I'd play my daughter one year up, like on an 05 team for an 06 kid. That's about the most I'd do I think. It's harder to develop a camaraderie with the team with much more of an age difference at this age.

I couldn't agree more with this. DD played 14U as a 12 year old. She did fairly well playing but just did not like the social aspect at all. Being a young 12 (Fall birthday) didn't help as she was 12 while some on team were 14 or even 15. I will say it made her a much better player at the expense of almost quitting the game.

On her team this year we have 3 12 year olds playing on an 01 team (14U). One has played up since she was 8 so she is fine, but we lost one of the other 12's to social stuff and the other one should be playing 12U without question.

DD goes to High School next year and it truly scares me if she were to make Varsity which is a possibility.

 

[sluggers]

First, it is great you are here. You have found a wonderful resource to help you and your DD enjoy softball. Softball can be frustrating, but there are lots of good people here who can help get through the confusion (GoingDeep, I've got my eyes on you).

To your question:

She has get on a team where she plays. She is just wasting her time and your money. I have seen an 11YOA kid who could play 14U, but I doubt your DD is another Samantha Findlay.

Find a team where your DD will play, tell your coach, "Thanks for all your help!" and then move on. Life is too short.

LITTLE ANGELS: You are being too harsh. The DD is practicing and getting better. Parents are often confused by softball teams and coaches...the good thing is that he can fix it. It is a learning experience.

 

[Eric F]

Just in case you haven't gotten the message yet, I'll add my 2 cents...

At 11yo, your DD will progress a LOT faster by getting a good share of playing time on a good 12U team than she will getting only a little playing time on a 14U team. Getting zero playing time on the 14U team makes the decision even more clear.

On the flip side, if I was a parent of a 14yo player on a 14U team, and my DD's opportunities to improve was getting short-changed because of an 11yo whose parents demanded equal playing time, I would most likely be looking elsewhere for a team.

 

[29dad]

Leaving now, in the middle of a season, over a lack of playing time, will give you a bad reputation. Plus aren't some rosters frozen by now? Wouldn't think it would be that easy to find another team, particularly a 12U team if she has already been on the roster of a 14U team during a qualifier (not a rules expert - could be wrong). Next year this will be a 16U team and your DD will still be 12. Good fit? Not so much.

For now, my advice would be to support the team, work extra hard at practice and outside of practice, and have your DD ask the coach what she needs to work on to get more playing time. But don't quit on a team mid season. Unless abuse is involved, I think it's really bad form. You may not agree with the coach, but it is his/her team and coaches decisions (especially regarding playing time) should be respected. Keep the faith, be positive (never speak ill of the coaches or teammates), and then after the season is over, attend multiple 12U tryouts and find the best fit for next year.