confused

[dbias]

Seems your options are limited:
1) Back up and try to be objective about moves understanding that this may be about trying something to spark another kid into stepping up and not just about your dd;
2) Put this in perspective in that you have already exceeded your expectations for this year by making v team and excelling and these 9-10 missed at bats isn't the end of the world;
3) Be supportive of TEAM and help your dd understand these character bldg opportunities even if coach did make a mistake;
4) Make this a huge deal - complain to everyone who will listen and divide the team into your camp and coach's camp;
5) Move;
6) Start your own high school and coach the team;

well 5 and 6 are out.... lol

We are all about sucking it up and pushing forward and believe me expectations have been more than met. This oppourtunity has been great for my dd but I didnt realize many things that were going on, as I am often at work, until today. Having sat down with dd and mom since this thread was started and talked with them I have found out things that make me yet more concerned. At yesterdays game the coach cussed in presence of the girls several times, and the head coach on third got into it with the asst. coach on first yelling across the field at each other! The asst coach on first is the only one on the staff that i truely think at this point can find his rear end with both hands. I dont know if there is a power struggle going on btwn them but no one of the gurus on this board can convince me now that this coach is doing his best for the team.
Oh and by the way dd said coach has been critical of her "rotational hitting crap" but she has just blown it off and not let it get to her. He has been showing her something like linear hitting as "that is how he hit in college back in the late 70's"

So yeah some may think I'm one of those parents but I now know that he is "one of those coaches"

 

[dbias]

Just when you think you've heard everything in the world of softball...

Your DD, a *FRESHMAN*, is the #1 pitcher for a guy who has won THREE championships. So, the coach lets a player bat for your DD. But, of course, you aren't satisfied--because, after all, the other players on the team don't mean squat compared to your DD.

The nerve of those other kids on the team, thinking they should occasionally get to play. I'm shocked, SHOCKED I say. Oh...I'm getting the vapors just thinking of the tremendous injustice done to your child.



Then don't. Everyone talks about "sports teaching important life lessons"--well, guess what? This is one of them. Sometimes you do what the "boss/customer says" because they are the "boss/customer".



Right...that is so clear. You want your DD to bat, because that is what is best for the team. The sacrifice your DD is willing to make is certainly inspiring.



Uh....yes you are.[/QUOT


Nice! Stick up for a psycho "crazy daddy"

 

[Sparky Guy]

The whole situation is tough to describe without sounding like a whinny rear and I can see how I can be perceived as such, but my dd has had some tough TB coaches in the past and they have no doubt helped get her where she is today but I cannot not say that this coach has done anything but destroy confidence in the best players on the team..

When less than half of the situation is presented you're correct. The wrong conclusions will be arrived at.

If the coach and AD are drinking buddies you're in for a long 4 years. What is so different with him from the last 3 years to this season or has this been his coaching style all along? If this is his style then your daughter has to decide if she can play for him or not.

If it's true that all the seniors and every junior with one exception have decided to not play softball the AD will have to take notice at some point. If the same situation repeats itself next season it's time for the parents to have a discussion with the AD. I wouldn't hold my breath. The mentality of HS officials for the most part is to circle the wagons rather than admit they're wrong or there's a problem. The exception is if there is a crime committed. Then they'll throw the offender to the wolves without hesitation.

Before she was in HS the HS school my daughter attended had a long-time successful coach give up the softball HC position. The softball program was always ranked in the top 10 in the state with a long history of success. Usually the entire roster is made up of high level travel players. They brought in a woman who was supposed to be a "great" coach. She turned out to be a yeller and screamer. The team hated her and the assistant she brought with her. They failed to make it passed the 1st post-season game for the first time in the program history. Afterward, it was made absolutely clear to the AD if the coach was there next season the returning team members wouldn't be. Fortunately the AD listened and she was gone. The program returned to its usual form under a new HC.

Unfortunately, there are some coaches who don't understand the fine line between pushing their athletes and berating them. That woman couldn't figure it out. She didn't lose the team. She never had them.

 

[PA SB Dad]

I dont feel as though I am one of "those parents"

I've got news for you - you are one of those parents. In your OP, you kept referring to "we" were looking for this, "we" were looking for that... Are you also playing on the HS team? You need to let it go and just be supportive of the efforts your DD amkes, not second guess the coach over decisions that are completely within his control to make.

 

[DOG310]

Sorry to jump on, but you sound like the dad I saw last night at a HS softball game. 1st he was wearing his TB coaching shirt and hat. Next, he did nothing but complain about every call the HS coach made. Whining "that was stupid", "why the hell did she have her bunt?", "I know that girl, she shouldn't be stealing".

Fortunately, every time he made a comment it became obvious to everyone around that he was the one screwed up. The team won and is undefeated in a very tough district. Not all HS coaches have reached the level of expertise that the beer bellied Rec to TB gurus have. LOL

 

[obbay]

On the other hand...
I have seen coaches talk about leading their teams to the states or regionals and these coaches were Horse's Asses. As one of the assistant Coaches said, the team won despite the coaching (or lack thereof).

I have also heard successful collegiate coaches say that the "years when their teams did the most or had championship seasons, were when the teams had the most talent. the coach is part of the team and works with what he gets but it's the team that makes the difference." Not every coach is a John Wooden.

3 state titles could be due to the teams that were developed before he got there and then he rode on their coat tails to success. when that pool of players ran out, he may have lacked the ability to develop that caliber of team.

If he won 3 titles in a row and knew what he was doing the whole time, why does he need to rebuild? Perhaps he needs to rebuild because he hadn't "built" anything in the first place.

or I could be wrong. just sayin...

 

[Sparky Guy]

3 state titles could be due to the teams that were developed before he got there and then he rode on their coat tails to success. when that pool of players ran out, he may have lacked the ability to develop that caliber of team.

You have hit the nail on the head. I've seen "great" teams fall back into the "also ran" category once a good pitcher has cycled though the school on more than one occasion. The schools who constantly win have fresh talent to reload the team as players graduate out of the program. It happens at the college level too.

Make no mistake. John Wooden got talented players to work with. What he did was teach them how to work together. I think the closest anyone comes to that is Phil Jackson. He seems to be able to blend a very diverse set of personalities and focus them on a single goal on the court.

The coach the OP refers to here seems to have driven off the older players and is suffering the consequences of his actions. We're not there but it sure sounds like it.

 

[sluggers]

The coach the OP refers to here seems to have driven off the older players and is suffering the consequences of his actions.

I disagree. The coach had a bunch of great, young players. It is extremely difficult to get and keep players for a couple of years from the following classes. The parents don't want their kid to sit on the bench for 3 years--so, the talented kids either drop the sport or find another school. Happens all the time in HS basketball...

As to the point about getting lucky and having a great pitcher--you know and I know having a great pitcher doesn't guarantee anything. It is easy to have a good pitcher, a bad coach and win 20 games. It is difficult to have a good pitcher, a bad coach and win a state title--and this guy won THREE.

Marie Barda was one of the best pitchers that ever came through Chicagoland, and her teams never won a state trophy. Hey, Candice Parker only won 2 state championships, and she was the best female HS hoop player in the nation for two years. Denny Throneberg, possibly the best HS coach in Illinois history, only won 6.

So, for a father of a *STARTING* freshman pitcher to whine about his DD not getting to bat is ridiculous.

The father doesn't understand what the coach understands-- At the top of the softball pyramid, a pitcher is just another player on the team. On good teams, they are no more important than the starting RF. Why? Everyone has a good pitcher at the top.

 

[RookKev]

Why is an occasional curse word apparently acceptable on a sports field? In a classroom, a science/math/or english teacher would be serverly reprimanded. This father has stated multiple points of concern in his post. Sure, he is a helicopter, I think that is a good thing. I know coaches really dislike it...but, then they also compain about being baby-sitters too. Have your cake and eat it too much? Come on, the girl is a starting pitcher as a freshman. The coach is getting what he should expect, a parent that is clearly heavily involved with his daughter. She didn't become a starting pitcher as a freshman all of a sudden. Her parents invested years of time helping her get there. They invested 3-4 hours per week minimum and who knows how much money. I'm sure up until NOW the coaches from her teams growing up have welcomed an involved parent. It can be as much of a shock for a parent as it is for the student.

I just feel like maybe people are coming down a wee bit hard on this dad. I can see how tough it could be to sit back and watch it all unfolding.....

 

[dbias]

"I just feel like maybe people are coming down a wee bit hard on this dad. I can see how tough it could be to sit back and watch it all unfolding..... "

yes sluggers appears to know it all and I, even though i am here and seeing and hearing things that should upset 99% of the sane ones on here am "one of those parents". so be it in this case i wear the badge with pride.

1Genius coach from what I can tell did not get "promotion" to baseball HC that he had long waited for.

2. Got law called on him for arguing with his own staff at another schools field and kicking repeatedly their infield grooming machine.

3. The real stud on the team, the SS, one of three sophs on the team quit after breaking down crying on the field after one of his lambastings over bobbling a ball that no one on the field would have even been close enough to to even throw their glove at let alone get it in her glove. so there goes second leading BA and OBP and team leader in doubles and triples.

4. Yes to a great degree I do say "we" alot in the op. It is "we" who drive 50 miles one way at least once a week for lessons and more than that to TB practices.... she is 14.... she does not drive..... It is "we" that goes out back to get in extra pitching reps..... it is "we" that went to the local rec field to hit five buckets of balls, BECAUSE SHE WANTED TOO.....SHE IS ON SPRING BREAK AND BORED.... and the best part it is we who spend more time together than probably most fathers and dd do. I know she is a good kid and I understand why she was upset over not hitting because she cares about her game and actually likes to hit way more than pitch or play third. First time she was DH in TB due to 98 degree heat and going to pitch next game she thought that was the coolest thing ever.... and still yelled outs and directions from the dugout and talked to the batters about what the pitcher was doing and picking up tells on the changeup etc.

5. Three state titles back to back..... grandma moses could have had the same result as the core of the team had played travel ball together since they were 10.... they all went D1 ....

6. One senior who chose not to come back this year had verballed D1 last year! Still going there from what i hear.

7. dd gave up three homeruns to same girl today.... she shook off pitch after pitch after the first hr and asked, by sign, to walk her and coach told her to throw the pitch or there were three others on the field who could so she did and it was sent about 300 feet onto the other field and landed behind second base. She told me when she came up the third time she considered hitting her softly with a roller but knew that would bring an rear chewing so she tried the walk signal again after shaking off multiple pitches and he said throw it, so she did..... right down the pipe and right over the fence it went.... the batter stopped and looked my dd as she went to dugout and dd gave her the thumbs up. What kind of thinking is it when you pitch to a known homerun hitter and let her single handedly beat you by two runs with her 5 rbi's?Other coaches were shaking their heads that our team was even pitching to her

Oh well as time goes by numbness sets in

obtw the pitch she kept shaking off was the changeup and our team has a glaring tell that the pitch is coming...... for some odd reason the HC yells "finish" everytime one of our pitchesr is in mid windup in delivery of the pitch.... honest to god.