Coach advice, please.

[InTheCrowd]

Hi all, new here and I'm looking for some advise on how to approach a coach.

Let me explain...

DD is a catcher and has been working with a catching coach for a couple of years on and off. Catching coach was all-state in high school, played four years of college, toured Europe on a team (wasn't Team USA). She has been wonderful. Not only has she taught DD the fundamentals of catching but also how to manage the game. DD is really developed under her instructions.

DD is a sophomore in HS, she has played spring, summer, and fall since 10u for a number of different coach most of which have been fine. Her current TB coach is awesome. She has been contacted by 6 college coaches and we know there's more. She has received all kinds of compliments from other teams, parents, umpires, and coaches. Just trying to establish that she is good player. Her TB coach kind of manages her managing the team. Everything is going great until the HS V coach.

Help me here please because I'm not a coach, I'm a parent. But as a coach, wouldn't you want to welcome a kid dedicated, trained, experienced, hard working into your program? If you know this player has a credible specialty coach, wouldn't that be a relief that it's one less thing you have to worry about? Why would a coach (who admitted not to know a whole bunch about catching) want to then change everything on this kid? And not be able to give one reason other than she's the V coach.

I'm not sure how to help my kid through this because we have tried everything. We met with her and the AD where she agreed to back off but she's still messing with her mechanics at pitchers and catchers. My DD is getting frustrated and so are we.

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

 

[Ken Krause]

Well, you have a couple of options. One is to tell the varsity coach "Thanks for the opportunity, we really appreciate it, but my daughter has decided to go another way. Here's your uniform back, all cleaned and pressed." That way you don't have to worry about her trying to change anything, and you and your daughter can continue to work with the private coach on the mechanics she's developed. Maybe not the option you want to pursue but it is in an option. Who knows? If your daughter is important to the team's potential success maybe she'll back down for real then. If not, you're still rid of her. Problem solved.

Another option is to simply respond "Ok" or "I'm trying" when the coach gives her advice and then ignore it. You haven't stated what is different about what's being taught v. what your daughter does so I don't know how obvious it would be. Your daughter can also ask "I just want to make sure I understand. When you tell me to do X, what is it supposed to do? If I can understand the reason it will help me learn it faster." If there's no reason, the coach will probably say "Just do it" and walk away, leaving your daughter free to do her own thing.

Your daughter can also try going along with what the coach says for now, but I don't really recommend that. I've been down that road with my own son and it just makes things worse. Your daughter will be so confused she won't be able to do anything. Or she can openly defy the coach, which rarely ends well.

Understand that the AD's job is to protect the coach, who is probably a teacher and colleague at the school, from meddling parents (even ones who know what they're talking about). It's not really to field a great softball team. (Football, or boys basketball, maybe. If the football coach is screwing up a stud QB he'll probably be gone in quick order.) You may have gotten the meeting and all that, but if push comes to shove the AD will back the coach, so forget about any help there.

Whatever you do, keep this in mind. Once the games start, the coach will have lots more on her mind than what your daughter is doing behind the plate. If she's handling the pitchers well, blocking balls, throwing out baserunners, etc. no one will care how she's doing it. Too much going on to focus on anything at that level.

 

[Sparky Guy]

This can be on of the biggest dilemmas of HS softball. The head coach can know less about the game or a position than the players. Especially if the player is on the roster of a high level team.

When is comes to a situation like you daughter is in it's usually best to smile and nod, say "Yes Coach." and then do things the right way during the games. That will keep her from being confused and the coach will usually keep quiet if the job gets done.

 

[sluggers]

Why would a coach (who admitted not to know a whole bunch about catching) want to then change everything on this kid?

Because the coach wants to be part of your DD's success.

When is comes to a situation like you daughter is in it's usually best to smile and nod, say "Yes Coach."

The "smile and nod" is essential to any softball player. If she is good, she will be approached by all manners of people offering advice. The smile and nod is the best defense against well-meaning people with little knowledge.

 

[KevinC]

I agree "smile and nod" and if she's performing well the coach isn't going to care how she does it.

 

[InTheCrowd]

Thanks for the advice and I've advised DD to "smile and nod".

I may be naive but I hoped that the coach would be a tad bit more reasonable. It's disappointing to say the least. This is going to be more of a challenge than it should be. And it's unnecessary as well.

Thanks again and I'll probably hang around and have more questions later on.