Brokenhearted BucketDAD

[itsagreatgame]

Its a sad day for this bucketdad. First semester grades came back and DD is ineligible for her first collegiate season! All the work and time down the tubes!! It happens all the time but you never want to believe it will happen to your dd. Softball is on the back burner now as the journey got that much harder!! Y lord Y? I hope this is a wake up call for her. Anyway, Thank you DFP for all the pitching help and ideas...she has improved so much with much of the advice and info I got here. For the past 5 yrs I have raised her alone and given up my career to do so. I pawned almost everything of mine i could to make the next tourney or pay the fees for travel ball...to give her the opportunity to play this game she loves. I'm not mad just disappointed. I soon will resume my career and those days of learning to pitch and helping her become better have ended sooner than I wanted. I watched as she placed herself in the state record books and was a high school all star selection and 3 time MVP...I will miss those days and all I hoped she would accomplish at the next level but times change and people change. I love this game and will miss it and I hope she will too!!

 

[sluggers]

It is a tough lesson for you and her. She has got to get her priorities straight.

Parents need to stop talking about softball as soon as their child commits to a college. From then on, the emphasis should be on her education.

 

[Mr T]

First of all sorry to hear it. Second, nothing can take all of those great accomplishments and memories away. Sounds like you got to spend a lot of quality time together and you were a committed dad. And it sounds like you had quite a player.

Now for my opinion on college ball, sorry if it comes off as preachy.

I think parents need to realize some basic facts about the supposed holy grail of the college scholarship.

One, it's no great ROI. Take all that time and money you put in softball and invest it in books and 529 plans and odds are you will do better financially for college. Even if you are lucky to have a true star like itsagreatgame, every athlete is one good injury away from being done.

Finally, and maybe most importantly, it takes a very very certain kind of person that can succeed as a student and an athlete. A super energetic, type A, self-motivated person.

Before you get too disappointed, maybe you ought to talk to her about what it's like. Maybe ask her what it's like trying to do both while under the pressure of knowing her dad gave away everything.

You say you are going to resume your career. Try working some 9 or 10 hour days. Keep that up for a while. Then start working out, really hard, in the morning before work. Then work out really really hard after work too. Then do some days where you drive a few hundred miles, sleep in a crappy bed, and then go back and do it all again. For good measure give yourself some good bruises and bumps, and somehow place a massive amount of psychological pressure on yourself like your daughter has. Now think about your disappointment again.

 

[David Carter]

WoW. I really feel for you. When your kids are a certain age they have to start making their own choices and paying the consequences and unfortunately learning lessons the hard way. I would hope that no matter what happens be as encouraging as possible as you guys figure out what is next. Like you said there is nothing to get mad about if anything you are just sad.

Good luck to you and your daughter and I hope things work out for the best somehow.

 

[itsagreatgame]

WoW. I really feel for you. When your kids are a certain age they have to start making their own choices and paying the consequences and unfortunately learning lessons the hard way. I would hope that no matter what happens be as encouraging as possible as you guys figure out what is next. Like you said there is nothing to get mad about if anything you are just sad.

Good luck to you and your daughter and I hope things work out for the best somehow.

Yep...its just tough to take right now. Most importantly now I am just concerned with her getting her head back in the books. Her choice to go to this JC ended up not being what was advertised. No matter....she still had to make the choice of not getting to class and missing her assignments. I was able to go to college on a football scholarship so I fully understand the work load it takes to succeed. Its not easy...I watched more than a few teammates drop out because of grades. I work on the road, all over the country and was going to start back up this spring after her season. She knows what she let slip away...hopefully she comes back strong and gets back out in the circle someday. If not...it was one helluva ride anyway!!! I love that kid!! Just tough to see it end this way...if it is in fact the end of playing ball.

 

[itsagreatgame]

It is a tough lesson for you and her. She has got to get her priorities straight.

Parents need to stop talking about softball as soon as their child commits to a college. From then on, the emphasis should be on her education.

Well, I was hoping that was the way it was going to go actually but after fall practices started and she saw the lay of the land we saw fairly quickly we had made a mistake in terms of school selection. then again like I told her it wouldn't have matter where she went because school is school and getting to class still has to happen. We still worked on her throwing together simply because this JC program had no throwing/workout schedule or pitching coach for that matter. I won't say we were given a line of bull but it didn't shake out entirely like advertised either...thats why I stayed involved. Softball wasn't the problem...getting to class was the problem. hopefully she learns from this....she will. (fingers crossed)

 

[itsagreatgame]

You say you are going to resume your career. Try working some 9 or 10 hour days. Keep that up for a while. Then start working out, really hard, in the morning before work. Then work out really really hard after work too. Then do some days where you drive a few hundred miles, sleep in a crappy bed, and then go back and do it all again. For good measure give yourself some good bruises and bumps, and somehow place a massive amount of psychological pressure on yourself like your daughter has. Now think about your disappointment again.

ROI?? I was fortunate enough to have attended college on a football scholarship so I fully under stand the committment it takes. AS for the resuming my career... I carry and tie rebar/building bridges...set steel on powerhouses and skyscrapers so I know what a hard days work and bumps and bruises are all about. Regardless if she ever plays again...i just want her to get back to the books and get that degree. As far as the selling off everthing and giving up my career (for the most part) to give the opportunities she's had...I'd do it all again in a heartbeat!! Just tough to see it happen to your daughter thats all! This to shall pass..........

 

[chinamigarden]

Ouch sorry to hear about it. The good news is your dd has an opportunity to apply herself and work towards her degree

 

[undergroundga]

Nothing better than a comeback story. Part of what makes this country so great is the opportunity to dig ourselves into a hole but somehow climb back out bigger, better, stronger, faster, and yes much smarter. It is the toughest lessons in life that give us wisdom.
Tell her to keep her head up. If she can work hard enough to get that good at softball, she can work that hard to get good at anything.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

I'm sorry this has happened, but we all know it's reversible. I hope it's just one of those "things", she learns a lesson, and moves forward productively.

College is a hard choice by itself, add in sports and it doubles. Add in a social life, boy/girlfriend, parties, night life............it can be brutal.

Just curious and these might help other members as well. How much of an adjustment was it for her? How were her HS grades before college? What degree/field is she going for? Where do you think the "problem" is in her personal situation?