Decisions...decisions...should she stay or should she go?

When you have two different threads on DFP about it being time to move on, it is past time to move on. Pull the trigger and don't look back.

I have a theory: a softball team will never be more serious about the game than the coach's daughter.

No matter how he tries your coach will have a hard time keeping that team competitive. If you see the issues, so does everyone else. Eventually the more serious (better) players will leave to be replaced by less serious players. You don't want to be around to experience it first hand.

My DD is in a remarkably similar situation. It is time to move on. We need to find a new team after several years with the same coach and same set of girls. Things have gotten stale, enthusiasm has faded, coach's DD is not really improving and coach has taught all he knows. It is just time to move on.

FP26 said:

Make sure you think carefully about your desire to avoid a 1st year 14u team. If your daughter finds a 2nd year 14u team, you may be faced with a similar decision next year. You may need to either look for another team again, or potentially move her up to 16u with the rest of the team. Will your daughter be ready for 16u at that point? Will the team be willing to move her up a year early?

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This is what I was thinking. Why not move to a team that is the correct age for her assuming it is also going to be an A team and a step up for her in challenge. Seems like you'd want to find a group of girls that she can grow and compete with and not be forced to go to 16's if she might not be ready for that in A ball.

Ugh - HC just called me. Strange timing!

He wanted to know our thoughts on next year. I asked him his plans and who he thought might return. The girls who are returning are the ones DD respects on the field. They are the ones who work hard and don't give up. The ones who are busy braiding hair in the dugout are not being asked back. So that is good. He has picked up one other girl from another team who is a great kid and a stud ball player. I am still torn though...

He does have a DD on the team but doesn't really play daddy ball. His DD sits - a lot. But that kind of bugs me too - how do you coach a team your daughter isn't good enough for? I would almost respect him more if he built a team around his DD. (Of course at that point we would be long gone). I dont know...

As for the teams that are an hour away - I have inquired about them. There are 3 teams that we might consider but they all practice 2x/week during the week. One starts practice at 4:30 and the others at 5. I am not sure we could get DD from school down there in time. One coach knows DD and said he would be willing to have her come when she could. That is very nice but this last year DD missed one practice a week due to soccer (she has since given soccer up) and it left her in a weird position. She felt a little on the outside of the team. And the parents would get mad when she started because she missed practice. I want her to make every practice she can this year! And so does she!

HC told me he has 2 new ACs lined up this year. Both of whom have filled in from time to time and the girls love them! Last year was hard - the team lost an AC in January when he passed away unexpectedly. The other AC coaches 2 baseball teams and was rarely there so alot fell on HC alone - and you can't run an effective practice for 13 girls with one coach IMO.

As for not playing on a 1st yr team...DD will almost definitely be ready to play at 16s next year. She is small but smart and quick and probably one of the most athletic kids on the field. She is a hard worker and is very self diciplined when it comes to practicing on her own. She was still 12U eligilble but only by 17 days. She is a Jan bday.

Classof2020 said:

This is what I was thinking. Why not move to a team that is the correct age for her assuming it is also going to be an A team and a step up for her in challenge. Seems like you'd want to find a group of girls that she can grow and compete with and not be forced to go to 16's if she might not be ready for that in A ball.

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Agree with FP26 and Classof2020......No reason to not play with your own age group, that way you can age up as a team. The only thing encouraging I can see about your current team, is the coach planning on bringing in four different players and going down to 11 from 13. 13 is too many to keep happy. The only problem I see is can this coach bring in 4 BETTER players. If his dd is that bad, and this team as a history of "quiting" when discouraged, and you noticed it, the other teams and players have also noticed it. Driving an hour to find a better team may suck, but sounds like it may be necessary.

Also..with the left handed catcher thing. I don't get it. If she can catch/frame, and make the throws she needs to make, there is absolutely no reason for it. Has that other coach seen her catch in a game? If she is good enough, maybe talk to him and tell him that she is ready to come to his team, but she needs catching time. Good luck.

So interesting because as much as some of the girls quit when they are tired they can also battle back if the wind blows the right way. They have recently come back from deficits of 15-3 and 12-2 to win games in the bottom of the last inning. That was always the thing DD loved about the team before this year. They never gave up. This year they just had a couple of girls (who will not be returning) who held alot of social sway in the dugout. I do wonder if part of that had to do with them being bored. There were 4 girls who played much less than the others and they seemed to influence the tone in the dugout depending on their level of interest.

As for playing on a first year team - there are no 14A teams in our area that are 1st yr teams. Even 2nd yr A teams are few and far between and they are probably B level teams in most of your areas - lol! It is hard when you only play 1/2 the year to be as competitive...

As for the Lefty catcher thing - yes the other coach has seen her play. He used to be an AC for her team. He admitted she was the best catcher but said he could never back that in good conscience. And yes - he had a baseball background.

This is how I see it now: Right now you are thinking locally and if you don't stay, the other two teams don't sound like it is going to be any better (and probably worse). Naturally, your first thought was to open up the distance and within 1 hr there are some teams, however this is a pain to get to practices, etc..

So..New idea...

Go further a field. 3hr+ out where you can't be expected to make a weekday practice. You probably know the teams from tournaments. Commit to putting the work in and practice locally and then join up on tournament weekends or once a month for a team practice. If you can get one other local girl to go with the idea you have a training/practice buddy and believe me, you can get a LOT done in an hour with 2-3 committed kids over a full team of 12 where commitment and goals are all over the place. You also add a whole lot of flexibility to practice schedules and when and where you have to be on weeknights. It also may open your DD up to a lot of other teams you are not currently considering.

Yeah, it is a bigger weekend commitment, but not as much as people think. Yes this happens way more when they hit high school age, so you are really just starting a year or two early. Guest locally on weekends off if you want... hell, see if the current coach will let her practice with the current team every now and then.

Just a bit of an out-of-the-box idea.

Regarding the distance, be honest with the coaches and let them know that your DD can only practice on the weekends with the team or every other weekday, etc and that your DD will work out on her own (e.g. catcher lessons, hitting lessons etc.). Most coaches will understand and be accommodating if they want your DD on the team.

Travel ball is not for the faint of heart and is a big commitment. You will know pretty quickly whether or not your DD (and family) are ready for the full travel ball schedule.

This year will be different for us for sure! DD was on a competitve soccer team until May and she plays club Basketball as well. Thankfully her bball team goes dark from March-Sept. We are pretty used to running all over the place. It used to be that DD had practices every night - and many times 2 practices a night. Anything is better than that! I think I need to consider the drive a little more seriously...

Talked to DD for a bit today too...she is starting to crawl back in her shell and now she wants to stay put. Ugh! We will definitely go to some tryouts starting next week and see how she stacks up. I haven't said yes or no to current HC.

KPower said:

He does have a DD on the team but doesn't really play daddy ball. His DD sits - a lot. But that kind of bugs me too - how do you coach a team your daughter isn't good enough for? I would almost respect him more if he built a team around his DD. (Of course at that point we would be long gone). I dont know...

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We have a similar situation. HC's DD is not only the worst player on the team, but also a year younger than everyone else. She has some learning and ADD challenges, and her skill development lags well behind the rest of the team. She is getting better, but slowly. I have never fully understood why the HC built an 04 team when she has an 05 DD who really isn't a TB-level player. HC is very realistic about her DD's abilities, and she doesn't play much compared with the rest of the team. Many tournament games, she might not play at all. All that said, HC's coaching is very good, which has kept us with the team since we made the move to TB two years ago. This year, our group of players is excellent. They aren't the very best softball players in the world, but they're all very good (with the exception noted above), with great attitudes, and love the game. Best of all, they all get along REALLY well. This is definitely the best team vibe I have ever been around. The coaching and the group of players will probably keep us around until something significant changes.