What to expect when you get to college?

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Feb 19, 2009
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Most of the conversation on this site and others like it seems to be about the recruiting process for pre-HS to HS age girls but there doesn't seem to be much discussion about what these girls lives are like once they get to college and are playing ball and attending classes full time.

My oldest DD played HS and travel ball but decided early on not to pursue college softball and is currently a college sophomore. She has stayed in touch with her travel teammates since then and of the ones that went off to play college softball all of them said that they expected college softball to be demanding going into college but found it even more demanding than they expected. One girl, who went to a D3 school, reportedly was getting straight A's in the fall but dropped to straight C's during the spring season and transferred out after her freshman year to a school that doesn't even have softball. Another girl who was among the hardest working and most dedicated players on DD's travel team is still playing at a mid-major D1 but indicating that she may drop out after her sophomore year to focus on graduating within four years.

Which brings me to my youngest DD who is a '18 grad and pitcher. She has gotten interest from several mid major D1s, a D2 and several D3 schools. She and my older DD are very close and she is also friends with my older DD's former travel teammates. She is a very good student and also very competitive athletically and I think she would be better prepared mentally than many of the other kids we played 12u travel ball with who ran off to pursue college softball scholarship glory via nationally recognized travel teams. She and my wife and I do share the concern that if she does play college softball that she may end up biting off more than she can chew.

I know the YMMV acronym is very much in play with a topic like this. I suspected the girl who fell out with the D3 program might have that result partially from what I knew about her but also because the D3 coach has a reputation for behaving as though the school is a P5 conference D1. The other girl had tough luck with injuries early on and may yet finish out her D1 playing career and graduate on time from a school that is highly regarded academically.

So please chime in with your experience. Naturally I'd like to hear from girls that played or are still playing college ball on any level what a typical week is like? How do you work class, exam schedule around road games that require flights to get to? Are certain majors off limits to play and is joining a sorority or having a part-time job out of the question? Since I'm sure most on this site are parents then please chime in with your DD college playing experience or if you're a travel coach who's kept in touch with your players how did it turn out for them?
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,131
113
Dallas, Texas
Generally, most kids aren't ready for the competition. Usually, they have been the best player on their HS and TB teams, and really never had to fight for a spot on the field. They've played for Daddies, and Daddies have always been given playing time.

Newsflash: The 21YOA woman who is the starting pitcher isn't going to politely sit down and let your DD takes over her spot. Your DD, if she wants to play, has to go out and fight every day for an opportunity to play.

An 18YOA kid competing against 21YOA women is quit a bit different. If a kid can't accept setbacks and struggling for playing time, then the kid is going to fail miserably.

Everybody on the college team was an all-state player. Your DD is nothing special or unique. The sooner your DD realizes that she is in a no-hold barred fight for playing time, the better off she is.

a) No, a kid can't have a part time job and play in college, unless she gets one of those "sweet" athletic department jobs that require little or no work.
b) The science majors are a real challenge for kids playing sports. Yes, there are kids who can play basketball and major in environmental engineering...but, it takes a whole lot of sacrifice.
c) There is no time for sororities. A kid playing college ball has a sorority...her team. She is expected to hang with the team on the weekends. (I personally don't like this, but that is what the coaches expect.)
d) Classes. Teachers usually will allow the student to take tests at a different time. Teachers will *NOT* repeat lectures. The student has to get the material she missed on her own. Sometimes you can go to the teacher for help. Sometimes the teacher will say, "Nope. No extra help for athletes." Some schools have tutors for the kids. Some don't.
 
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Nov 26, 2010
4,782
113
Michigan
if it's not about the scholarship. Consider club softball. My dd is an engineering student and club has been great. They practice a couple of times a week and play their games in the weekends. It's actually good softball. My dds team is far better then HS and better then The community college and some 4 year college teams I have seen. They even have a World Series at the end of the year.

My dd gets to play without adding more stress and time to an already busy schedule. As for classes. Both my kids found out that college is harder and faster paced then HS. The academics will take up more time. My dd was #1 in her HS grad class. She never studied. She studys a whole lot now.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
Scholarship type can have an influence on a players willingness to put in the work to play a sport in college. If a player is on academic scholarship, her scholarship is not tied to her participation on the softball team, and suddenly she realizes that she is putting in 30 hours a week for free.
 
Feb 19, 2009
196
0
Everybody on the college team was an all-state player. Your DD is nothing special or unique. The sooner your DD realizes that she is in a no-hold barred fight for playing time, the better off she is.

Really? Everyone on the college team was an all-state player? Which "the college team" are you referring to because I've looked at several D1 rosters and there really aren't many players with "all-state player" on their bios. For that matter, how would you know whether my DD is special or unique or not?
 
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Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
Really? Everyone on the college team was an all-state player? Which "the college team" are you referring to because I've looked at several D1 rosters and there really aren't many players with "all-state player" on their bios. For that matter, how would you know whether my DD is special or unique or not?

All state player, HS player of the year, ASA National Champion, PGF Champion or whatever is meaningless once you get to college. Everybody on that team was special back in the day. It is a different world and if a kid thinks that they are all that and a bag of chips, they are in for a serious reality check. That is why many are gone in the first year because they cannot handle the grind. Others embrace it and thrive. My kid was a national HS player of the year, NJCAA Pitcher of the year, NJCAA All American, won a NJCAA national championship, NJCAA tournament MVP, blah, blah blah. Got to the SEC and knew she was one of many and had to step up her game in order to compete.
 
Oct 2, 2015
615
18
Dusty, great thread! I have the same questions you do.
slugger, love the fist first philosophy! Give it to me straight man!
JAD, great point...how many of us worked 30-40 hours a week at a regular job during college? That was pretty hard!
riseball...my DD is none of the above...so I've got nothing...
but dude! it's gotta be pretty cool watching your DD on TV! :D
 

Greenmonsters

Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
Feb 21, 2009
6,168
38
New England
Looking back both DD and I would agree that D3 was perfect for her. She narrowed her college choices by what she was looking for academically first and SB second. Doing it that way, you likely will end up at a school where you're happy even if SB doesn't work out the way you wanted or expected, whether due to ability, injury, coaching change, too much of a time commitment, academic load, off-campus study groups, career opportunities, change in life priorities, or simply the game not being fun anymore. Even at a D3, DD worked her rear off every day, really had no time for anything else other than SB, academics and her major (technical theater, which also had significant extracurricular requirements that weren't particularly appreciated by her SB coach any more than her major advisor appreciated the SB commitments). Ultimately, DD was able to do college her way, which was (and remains!) her mindset from the start. Obviously this is a big YMMV.

I think it was during 8th grade that DD attended a local org sponsored workshop where veteran regional/local D1, D2, D3 coaches quite candidly explained what the typical expectations were for players at their respective division levels and discussed the similarities/differences. DD decided at that time that D3 was her target and that she wanted no part of being a "SB coach's indentured servant due to an athletic scholarship" (paraphrasing DD's words as i best recall them!).

FWIW, the Northeast is not the mecca of the SB world, but there are an almost unlimited number of schools within a 2-4 hr driving radius from which to pick and choose the right fit.

I believe there's a stickied D3 thread that provides some more insight into D3 experiences.
 
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sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,131
113
Dallas, Texas
Really? Everyone on the college team was an all-state player? Which "the college team" are you referring to because I've looked at several D1 rosters and there really aren't many players with "all-state player" on their bios.

When your DD starts playing on a college team, ask about the other players. All of them will be really good...which is why they are on a D1 team...and all of them will have accolades stacked to the ceiling. Every kid on a D1 team has talent.

As to "all state players"--states now have 4 or 5 "state champions". Illinois had 164 all-state players last year.

Your DD has to learn the mantra of sports: "What have you done for me lately?" A kid has to produce every day...in practice and in games...to earn playing time. In college, nobody (other than the parents) gives $.02 about what your DD did last year, last month, last week or yesterday.

College sports are meat grinders...and kids get swallowed alive all the time.

Who "makes it" in D1? A kid with a big chip on her shoulder who has something to prove.

For that matter, how would you know whether my DD is special or unique or not?

I'm sure she is special to you, just like everyone's child is special to her parents.
 
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Feb 19, 2009
196
0
Sluggers,

If your going to chime in on a thread will you at least attempt to post something relevant to the topic discussed? I am asking for insight into the overall college life of a student athlete who plays softball at any level and your spouting off some drivel about how everyone in college is a great player and upperclassmen will be hostile to any young freshmen coming in and expecting to take playing time away from them, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Your posts to this thread remind me of one of the many college showcase camps I've been to where they let some crusty old geezer coach from Nowhere U give the campers and their families his patented old school pep talk that's nothing more than a bunch of tired cliches and you can't walk away because maybe there's a coach there from a school your DD is interested in. It also reminds me of why I stopped posting on softball message boards and this is one of the better ones.

Maybe this is the wrong forum for these types of questions as it appears to be mostly dad's chasing the college softball dream but can't imagine what they're getting their DD's into if they succeed in realizing it? I do appreciate the replies from those of you that at least got the question.
 
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