'HONEY you should have had that grounder'

[FP26]

Good read MikeP, nice to see a person take a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Little story,
Years ago had a job where i was the only Female Foreman for an international steel distributor.
A trucker walked into our warehouse and spit chew in the middle of our floor. Walked up and said to me
"Little darlin' got a delivery who's the foreman?"
I responded "thats me"
He said "darlin dont joke around i've got important business here."

I said, well after we get that slip and fall injury off our floor i'll get that order in the que to be offloaded. There are two ahead of you."
He said darlin i aint waiting and i aint moving my rig what now....
And i said
"Either you move your rig
Or little darlin' here will move it for you" and i winked
( trying to keep it light not irritated by the littl darlin part, but he just spit on my clean floor)
He got irritated cuz he couldnt be first ...
Then he said
Well i'd like to see that....
So....
I climbed into the cab of his semi and grinded a few gears while i moved it out of the way.

At some point in our lives hopefully we find being respectful the better choice!

I supervise 300 truck drivers. Let's just say most of them have a different interpretation of "offensive" than I have.

 

[whiporee]

You don't know me! Everything I do in life, every single day is for someone else and how it affects them! That's my job, to be a positive example and try to make other people's lives better! We're talking about the word "honey!"

Right. And we're suggesting that honey has to some -- if not most -- has romantic and intimate connotations. We're telling you that an older man using it to younger girls isn't appropriate, that it's no better for a coach to use it than for a boss to use it. That there are plenty of other options to use, and maybe rethink this one.

And your argument is: But I want to, so I'm gonna.

It's not a positive example to tell girls that it's okay for someone to use intimate language with them. That's teaching them to just accept harassment as it comes along, that being thought of sexually is just part of having two X chromosomes. It's not a positive example to set for boys watching that it's okay for an older man to address younger girls as sweetheart, as though they are entitled to a degree of intimacy like that.

Look at the example RAD used above. You think that trucker was using lil darlin as a term of endearment? He was using it to demean her. Using terms like honey or sweetheart or anything of the sort on the field doesn't support her as an athlete because it has nothing to do with athletics.

It's not making a girl who doesn't want to be called honey by her coach feel better. It's not making the other girls on the team feel better. it's just a choice the coach makes because he wants to.

 

[FP26]

Honey It implies a level of intimacy between an older man and a younger girl that is inappropriate.
Maybe to you but not to me. I guessing sweetheart would be a bozo no no too?

Just curious about something. I don't coach any more. Most of the players from my last team are now in college. When I am able, I go to watch them play. It isn't uncommon for one of them to walk over to me after the game and give me a hug. Is that creepy? For the record, one such player plays for one of DD's rivals. Her dad was my assistant coach. So while this player is hugging me, my DD is typically hugging her dad. Family friends, so I don't see anything wrong with it. But after reading this thread, I'm starting to wonder... The boundaries are becoming fuzzier and fuzzier.

 

[_MIA_]

So has anybody tried my example and used Monkfruit and if so how has it worked out for you?

 

[FP26]

So has anybody tried my example and used Monkfruit and if so how has it worked out for you?

I was thinking about trying that with my wife when I got home last night, but I probably would not be able to answer you right now if I had...

 

[OsDad]

... does he call all the females sweetheart?

At this point, it seems like you're just trying to double down and aren't actually interested in hearing/seeing another side because there is no chance that you have a daughter and actually think that "... as long as he does it to everyone..." is automatically a justification for any sort of behavior. That CAN absolve someone of intent to discriminate but that's about it. There is ZERO chance that you'd excuse a man slapping your daughter on the rear just because he did it to everyone, and if that's the case, it's not a valid excuse here either.

Either try harder or just admit that you're not interested in the discussion and are only interested in winning/calling people coddled if they don't like how you talk. You wouldn't be the first person on the internet to argue for the sake of arguing.

 

[Fluid Fastpitch]

So has anybody tried my example and used Monkfruit and if so how has it worked out for you?

I called my DD Stevia. She assumed I was talking about Minecraft.

 

[jdint]

Just curious about something. I don't coach any more. Most of the players from my last team are now in college. When I am able, I go to watch them play. It isn't uncommon for one of them to walk over to me after the game and give me a hug. Is that creepy? For the record, one such player plays for one of DD's rivals. Her dad was my assistant coach. So while this player is hugging me, my DD is typically hugging her dad. Family friends, so I don't see anything wrong with it. But after reading this thread, I'm starting to wonder... The boundaries are becoming fuzzier and fuzzier.

Why would it be a problem for consenting adults to hug?

 

[_MIA_]

I called my DD Stevia. She assumed I was talking about Minecraft.

Nice, data points!! (although I didn't get the reference since my kids don't play video games.. )

 

[FP26]

Why would it be a problem for consenting adults to hug?

To me it isn't. But reading this thread, I'm starting to wonder. I am 30 years older than these players.