Tips for bringing out intensity in an athletically gifted, yet timid 13 year old...

sluggers said:

Quick question: How many girls have you short-changed in order to give this girl playing time?

1) Playing sports for some is fun and a great experience. However, millions of girls lead a full, productive life without ever playing sports. Believe it or not, some people PREFER NOT TO PLAY SPORTS.

2) You can't make someone "want" to play softball or basketball. In the movie "Hoosiers", what Coach said to Jimmy was correct--It is *HER* talent and *SHE* can do with it what she wants.

3) Wasted talent is the rule, not the exception.

4) Girls learn quickly to tell people what they want to hear. (If you were her, would you tell the coach that you didn't want to play? She would get mauled by her mother at home.) Girls tell you what is in their hearts by their actions, not their words. The girls who want to play show up early to practice, carry their own equipment, and respond if you tell them once what to do. The ones who don't want to play have to be dragged everywhere by their parents.

But, I'm pretty sure none of this will soak in...so, here is what you do, (and this is really tricky):

A) You tell her*SPECIFICALLY* what you want her to do. If she doesn't do it, then you sit her on the bench. No "ifs, ands or buts". She either plays the game the way it was meant to be played, or she sits. If you don't do this, then you (not her) are disrespecting the game.

B) Stop expressing what you want with meaningless terms-- "fight,tough, competitiveness" have no meaning. On the other hand, "if there is a loose ball on the court, you have to dive for it" is a specific, direct instructions that she can follow. Or, "if a guard crosses n the lane while you are on defense, you hip check her."

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