Prayer circles

riseball · Mar 23, 2018

dgh31 said:
What about Hindu religion? They don't share the same god. What about atheists? They don't believe in any god.

How about instead of saying a Christian prayer we show sportsmanship in a way we've all agreed on. We shake hands. We say good game. We wish the coaches good luck in their next game.

I would certainly prefer nothing and keeping it about softball. But that is not how it works. When it does go another direction you need to decide that given your role as a HC representing your team, your organization and the sport itself how you will respond. The choice is up to you.

Sparky Guy · Mar 23, 2018

Normally when we attend games we hear not only our National Anthem, but also that of Canada. I am not offended by that, nor do I create a scene because the home team doesn't respect my views.

Usually it's two US teams playing they only play the National Anthem. If it's a team from Canada they will play both.

grcsftbll · Mar 25, 2018

riseball said:
Having been placed in the same situation dozens of times I can state that you have two options:

1) Go along with it setting a positive example to your charges, and as much as possible keep it about softball.

2) Make it about yourself with a religious/political statement so you can feel good about yourself.

To me politely declining does set a good example. Stomping off or loudly protesting would make it about the coach. Politely declining to pray but nothing else? That's not a bad example at all; the opposite, to me, since it will let the minority girl on the team - the non-religious are always a minority where I live - know that it's ok and she doesn't HAVE to participate if she doesn't want to. Growing up in the bible belt and not being religious gives me a different perspective than a lot of people who are either religious ("What's the big deal? Just be quiet and don't make a scene") or not religious but didn't grow up with it foisted upon them at every turn like it is here, who probably can't understand why these things come to feel like a big deal. And I'm not talking about a team deciding to form a prayer circle with themselves. I'm talking about the mandatory-feeling prayer circles after literally every game that's played in GA (at least at our age level).

WinThemAll · Mar 25, 2018

Being from the Midwest, I have always prepared my teams for the after game prayer circle when we travel to the south. I explain that while it is a very nice thing to do, players do not have to participate -- some do some do not.

I do remember a story that one time, an 18U team (in a previous organization I was with) played a team from the south that called our players every dirty-name in the book and then wanted to pray after the game.

BobInMadison · Mar 26, 2018

..........................

OsDad · May 14, 2018

This was an interesting discussion that I'm sad I missed, but will resurrect because I'm stuck at work and bored-

I'm in Oklahoma and my DD's coach does a prayer circle. It isn't the Lord's Prayer- he just says his own prayer over the two teams for protection, etc etc. I had seen him do it before my DD was on the team and was always curious about how it all went down. He has a talk with the parents before the season and makes sure everyone understands that he does it because of HIS beliefs and desire to bless the teams and coaches, and not a desire to proselytize. He makes sure that everyone understands that they don't have to participate and that the team is inclusive of anyone's beliefs. They typically ask the other team if they'd like to join, and don't mind if they, or any of their girls decline. They even do it when they lose- they got their you-know-what's handed to them this weekend and still trotted out there and did it.

Here is where I stand on it, personally-

I don't believe in Santa Claus but I'm not worried that joining in the chorus of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer will somehow infect me with belief. It isn't some contagion. If I don't personally believe in one god or another, I really don't have anything to lose by allowing someone to hope/wish/pray good things over me. I teach my kids the same things, and I'm not worried that a prayer circle at the end of a softball game is going to out-parent me. If someone has religious reason to specifically avoid participating then I'm fine with that too, and is more understandable than simply being militant about it. To me, the biggest issue is if games are running behind and teams need to get in and out quickly. However, her coach is fairly good about knowing when that is and either making it short, or cutting it out entirely.

grcsftbll · May 15, 2018

OsDad said:
This was an interesting discussion that I'm sad I missed, but will resurrect because I'm stuck at work and bored-

I'm in Oklahoma and my DD's coach does a prayer circle. It isn't the Lord's Prayer- he just says his own prayer over the two teams for protection, etc etc. I had seen him do it before my DD was on the team and was always curious about how it all went down. He has a talk with the parents before the season and makes sure everyone understands that he does it because of HIS beliefs and desire to bless the teams and coaches, and not a desire to proselytize. He makes sure that everyone understands that they don't have to participate and that the team is inclusive of anyone's beliefs. They typically ask the other team if they'd like to join, and don't mind if they, or any of their girls decline. They even do it when they lose- they got their you-know-what's handed to them this weekend and still trotted out there and did it.

Here is where I stand on it, personally-

I don't believe in Santa Claus but I'm not worried that joining in the chorus of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer will somehow infect me with belief. It isn't some contagion. If I don't personally believe in one god or another, I really don't have anything to lose by allowing someone to hope/wish/pray good things over me. I teach my kids the same things, and I'm not worried that a prayer circle at the end of a softball game is going to out-parent me. If someone has religious reason to specifically avoid participating then I'm fine with that too, and is more understandable than simply being militant about it. To me, the biggest issue is if games are running behind and teams need to get in and out quickly. However, her coach is fairly good about knowing when that is and either making it short, or cutting it out entirely.

It's good that he discloses that before the season starts. It would take a lot of positives to overcome that for us. Not saying we wouldn't want to be on that team but that's a big strike against it. Also there are very few grown adults who believe in Santa. Though I personally do draw parallels between the two beliefs, most people get pretty offended by comparing god to Santa. lol

BuckeyeBW · May 15, 2018

I don't understand the big deal if it is not prohibiting the game play or is not causing a backup due to not getting off the field for the next teams to come on. I also don't understand why saying "good luck", which is essentially wishing for forces that are beyond your control to favor you, is any different than asking one's god for protection and favor? I see teams huddle and talk about the game on the field all the time if they are not being hurried to another field, so what if they choose to pray? It's not like they are having a 2 hour prayer meeting or calling for a revival tent sermon to break out. Coaches and fans stomp around acting like idiots, cursing at kids, umps, they talk bad about each other and bitch all game long, and that is ok just don't let a 2 minute prayer circle happen "there is no room in the game for that". I grew up in the south but now live in Michigan, we have not played south of Indiana yet, but I highly doubt an umpire is standing there marking down players not in a prayer circle and then treating her more unfairly. If so you are in the wrong league or tournament. By the way, if you are a team from Michigan, playing a tournament in Ohio (or vice versa) you may not exactly get the best calls go your way prayer circle or not.

marriard · May 15, 2018

BuckeyeBW said:
I don't understand the big deal if it is not prohibiting the game play or is not causing a backup due to not getting off the field for the next teams to come on. I also don't understand why saying "good luck", which is essentially wishing for forces that are beyond your control to favor you, is any different than asking one's god for protection and favor? I see teams huddle and talk about the game on the field all the time if they are not being hurried to another field, so what if they choose to pray? It's not like they are having a 2 hour prayer meeting or calling for a revival tent sermon to break out. Coaches and fans stomp around acting like idiots, cursing at kids, umps, they talk bad about each other and bitch all game long, and that is ok just don't let a 2 minute prayer circle happen "there is no room in the game for that". I grew up in the south but now live in Michigan, we have not played south of Indiana yet, but I highly doubt an umpire is standing there marking down players not in a prayer circle and then treating her more unfairly. If so you are in the wrong league or tournament. By the way, if you are a team from Michigan, playing a tournament in Ohio (or vice versa) you may not exactly get the best calls go your way prayer circle or not.

I don't care if the other team does and I don't care where they do it if it is not interfering in anything - it becomes an issue when they try to force our team to do so also. And then ostracize or be all nasty to us because we don't.

My reply to this thread (post #20) for some of our experiences: https://www.discussfastpitch.com/being-softball-parent/33525-prayer-circles-2.html#post466574

BuckeyeBW · May 15, 2018

marriard said:
I don't care if the other team does and I don't care where they do it if it is not interfering in anything - it becomes an issue when they try to force our team to do so also. And then ostracize or be all nasty to us because we don't.

My reply to this thread (post #20) for some of our experiences: https://www.discussfastpitch.com/being-softball-parent/33525-prayer-circles-2.html#post466574

I read your other posts and that is sad. I would say I apologize on behalf of Christians everywhere, but those people are not acting like Christians so I won't apologize for them. They should be ashamed of themselves and if I was there I would shame them myself, and I am a "Christian". Our team has never had a prayer circle, some of our girls literally don't even know who Jesus is. We saw our first prayer circle on the mound a couple of weeks ago and they did the Lord's Prayer. They didn't invite us to join. All of our girls just stared at them and asked what they were doing. My own daughter, who is a believer, even asked what was happening. I didn't say another word about it but she later asked me if it was just for them or could she go too. I told her it was up to her and if she saw it she could ask to join if she wanted.

Prayer circles

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