Social Media

I know this has been talked about in the Coaching softball section but I was curious about how you all handle social media in your house. Recently a couple of college softball coaches started following her on Twitter. I asked her if she had been following them and she said no-I don't think I'm good enough to play there, they just started following me (not very positive thinking but maybe realistic??).
Do you allow your DD to use social media? Do you follow her? "Stalk her?"
We've had countless conversations about social media with her and she hears it all the time at clinics. She's 15 and posts a lot of what I think is stupid but not harmful. Mostly about boys. I've called her out on a couple of things I didn't like and she says "I was joking" -it's hard to tell sometimes. I then take it away for awhile for the "joking."
A lady I do business with says she stalks her DD without her knowing of course and found out she was smoking weed. I've heard others say don't do it because you really don't want to know... they deserve privacy, trust, (Not in my House! LOL!)

We do not necessarily follow DD, her cousins do though. Anything not quite right we will find out one way or another. I think anyways.

We regularly research what the kids friends/peers are up to so we can judge their character. If it was just following them on facebook it wouldn't be tough, but there are all kinds of new sites. I went into my 11yr olds room to pull her blankets back up on her at 4a.m. yesterday. Her ipod was blowen up with alerts. Her classmates were posting on something called kik? At 4:00 am!

I don't do any of it. My company is like the movie "The Firm". Say something wrong online and you vanish without a trace.

I'm very big on personal privacy, however, I insist upon knowing all of my DD's friends and I know at least one and usually both of their parents. I do not and will not read the content of their communications, unless there is reason to. I do, however, reserve the right to know which platforms/apps she is using. She's in middle school.

Every day after school, she tells me how her day went. If there's something going on with respect to the way she or her primary group of friends is treating or being treated by someone else, she'll inform me and we can talk about possible ways to improve a situation.

No, I do not stalk my child online. Her text messages and whathaveyou go to her phone, not her mom's or mine. She's got more than ample space to grow independently, but we know where she is and who she's with 100% of the time. Because she has such a great group of friends, we've been so far very fortunate with regard to social media and other middle school issues, but it's my belief that parents should be generally in the know about what kids are doing, even if we don't know all the specific details.

When the time comes I will monitor online sites and their text messages. Like it or not, in the age we live in, this stuff is monitored already, any thing electronic has no expectation of privacy. If you want privacy, you need to have a direct conversation. If Facebook, Google, the US govt can monitor my daughters, why can't I?

Fortunately, my oldest son didn't have much access to the Internet. He is 30. Yes, I had to follow him closely. He did not make good decisions. As long as I was financially responsible for him and he lived at home, I felt that I had the right to try and protect him.

My other 2 kids made better decisions, but there was no privacy as far as what they brought home in the book bag or had in their room.

Would I stalk a kid of mine, now? You bet. One mistake can be life changing, now. I also wouldn't hesitate to tell another kid to "knock it off," if posts to my child were inappropriate. The computer and phone, etc. are a privilege and it isn't cheap. I would monitor closely.

It is funny, some kids would call it "stalking" but I call it parenting.

We tell our DD that with the privilege of having a phone is that we can monitor it 24/7 if we want. Like Reagan said, "trust but verify". She is not allowed apps like Snapchat, where you can post something such as pictures and it is deleted after say 30 seconds.

it is deleted after say 30 seconds.

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And, of course, it really isn't. Anyone can screen shot it.

I don't use my real name on Facebook or Twitter. But, then, if other kids do that, you wouldn't know who on earth they are, I guess.

My DD's use of social media changed dramatically when she had to put her twitter and facebook account information into her recruiting profile page of several colleges. Not sure if the coaches are following her, but just the thought that they may be straightened her out!