Was I wrong?

[marriard]

Short version: Yes you were wrong. However if the coaches are not coaching they are wrong as well.

If you want to coach then coach. Don't sit in the stands or stand by the fence and coach. If you don't like what the coaches are doing then either find new coaches or volunteer to coach yourself (sounds like the team could use an outfield coach).

Our parents/spectators are allowed to cheer and support. Once a player enters the dugout they are the coaches to instruct. Injury is the only time they are allowed in the dugout/direct to the player. Want to get your DD a water? Give the water to a coach and he will handle it. She needs a water - she tells a coach to go ask her parent for one. We have everything they need in the dugout including playing advice. This is our written rule - it is very, very clear.

The comments here on talking to coaches outside the game or talking to your DD on how to improve her game AWAY from the team are all good. And it should start with asking 'What are your coaches telling you to do?'

I'd be furious if I saw a parent moving an outfielder - but then our outfielders are moving a fair amount themselves based on how they see the batter and then the coaching staff is moving the outfielders as well when needed so our outfield is pretty active.

 

[canyonjoe]

I will add one more thing to this. When one of our coaches is missing I actually do coach, and actually had worked with the outfielders on drills at practice all week. On this day however, I was not a coach and shouldn't have acted as one.

I sincerely appreciate all of your comments and I thought I was wrong too. I vow what in the future I'll coach when I'm officially a coach and be a parent when I'm not.

 

[sluggers]

Agree completely with Sweet Lou.

Theoretically, you want your DD to *learn* the game, not be an automaton doing what you tell her to do. You need to talk to her and get her thinking about what she should be doing to position herself during a game.

 

[Momo'sDad]

I'm with CoogansBluff and SweetLou, but do understand your frustration with seeing them getting no guidance out there, game in, game out and know what it's like to feel like the coaches aren't even paying attention to the outfield. It's up to the players to engage themselves in the game, however, which involves learning to make adjustments based on the information they have to work with.

What you'll see on some of the better teams - generally starting in 12u - is that the infielders will often take the catcher's sign on the pitch call and relay it to the outfielders who then make their own shifts, in some cases.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I would have a hard time being quiet, if the batter had fouled 3 down the first base line and the RF isn't moving.

 

[Rocketech1]

Yes, you were wrong but most of us here have done the same thing. All you have to do is ask yourself if you were the head coach and a parent was coaching the defense during play, would you think it was acceptable? Probably not. One time I was coaching and I kept telling my third baseman to play up in anticipation of the bunt and she kept moving back after each pitch. I couldn't understand why until after the the game someone told me that her dad kept telling her to move back! He was a baseball guy and was having her play defense as if this was little league baseball.

Now that I don't coach my DD anymore, this lesson of keeping my mouth shut has been a hard one. Let the coaches coach and enjoy the game. You can always correct and teach away from the field.

 

[canyonjoe]

Yes, you were wrong but most of us here have done the same thing. All you have to do is ask yourself if you were the head coach and a parent was coaching the defense during play, would you think it was acceptable? Probably not. One time I was coaching and I kept telling my third baseman to play up in anticipation of the bunt and she kept moving back after each pitch. I couldn't understand why until after the the game someone told me that her dad kept telling her to move back! He was a baseball guy and was having her play defense as if this was little league baseball.

Now that I don't coach my DD anymore, this lesson of keeping my mouth shut has been a hard one. Let the coaches coach and enjoy the game. You can always correct and teach away from the field.

I admit I was wrong, but I don't think it's in the same class as the guy who is contradicting the coach.

I will say I learned a lot from all of the comments. I need to leave it up to DD more. The funny thing was earlier this year we had 2 coaches out and I called pitches while she was catching. After the first inning she kindly questioned one of my pitch calls so I had her call the rest of the game on her own.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I admit I was wrong, but I don't think it's in the same class as the guy who is contradicting the coach.

I'm sure you've done worse.

Let's face it, we've all done worse. Fact that you'd question yourself over something like this on a forum in an attempt to be a better parent is a sign that you're doing things right. We all have our habits we need to break, and hopefully we know which ones they are.

In fact, instead of posting kids' swing or pitching motion, maybe we should have our spouses video us at tournaments and put those up for critique in case we have blind spots. ''I know I'm a work in progress, but what do y'all think of my form? Be gentle.'' Or maybe Ken can start a 'model parents' thread. That might help our kids more than we know.

 

[CoogansBluff]

You were wrong and NO, most of us don't coach from the stands. and NO most of us have not done worse. You don't get a pass or understanding by "mob" rule. If you have issues with the coaching, have your kid, the player, speak to the coach.

I find not placing the outfield a very frustrating thing when my boys played. But it is up to them to fix it, not me.

Really? You think that most parents have never, not one time in their lives, done something worse than coach their child during a sporting event?

I admire the fact that the OP asked for opinions and then was influenced by them. Most people don't ask, and when they do, they only want validation. I'd like this parent on my team.

 

[kenb63]

Player, Coach, Ump, or Fan. Choose one only.