Pitcher Parents - If you could do it all over again...?

[RubberBiscuit]

All in all, the only thing I would change would be how I gave my feedback and suggestions (not always constructive ).

This would be in my top three also. I was too critical for too long in her career. I wish I would have picked up the magical approach of embed a criticism inbetween two compliments much earlier.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

My biggest regret: I should have watched her play more.

RIGHT! - When I stopped coaching I discovered this wonderful thing I never did before => become a true "fan" of my DD.

 

[smddad]

If I could go back, I would not have had her pitch.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

If I could go back, I would not have had her pitch.

Can you divulge your Pro's-Con's that have you conclude this?

 

[RetiredCoach]

I believe that this is a great thread inspired by a very good question. It became apparent to me that I don't have a great number of regrets at least partially because of the great advice and, let's face it, emotional support that I received on this forum. From this forum I received great technical advice as well as the emotional support that I needed at times to calm down and be a much better father/coach to my DDs. This is a great forum with great people all helping each other in the adventure called fastpitch softball. I am glad that I found it!

 

[smddad]

Can you divulge your Pro's-Con's that have you conclude this?

Still figuring out all the damage, but a torn labrum is one issue.

 

[Softball scholar]

My 16YO DD has been pitching for 4.5 years now. Im on the journey and were not done. When you get into fastpitch pitching, you're making an investment. I'm talking an investment financially and in time and anxiety. You got to keep chasing the rabbit down the hole and it the hole gets deeper. I would have never imagined at the beginning the amount of effort I (bucket dad) would have to commit to it, nor even the money invested in pitching lessons, camps and other training aids. I'm talking hours of time driving to pitching lessons, practices and camps. Im not complaining but, I had to give up my personal recreation even to compensate. My tennis game has suffered from it. My wife has at time been frustrated and angry with the time and money involved. But I love watching my DD pitch, and I don't regret it.

But with that said: There's an even bigger lesson to be learned. I would say, as we got into travel ball and started going to regular pitching lessons and spent the time practicing, you start to come up with expectations. You rationalize the formula that your DD is a good athlete, she's working hard and getting training and lessons from whom you think is the best pitching Guru, then she should be one of the best pitchers. You believe you should see results in the games she pitches. You expect to see that progress curve go straight up. Of course you're always getting the inflated feedback from the PC that you're DD is special and will get a scholarship if you keep it up. But with these expectations, you put a tremendous amount of pressure on your young pitcher. The pressure will affect them mentally to the point they don't succeed and there progress will likely be very up and down with many setbacks. We've had great moments and success but had many lows. Its never a straight line. Also the anxiety and frustration of the parent did IMO have a very strong affect on my DD. I wish I would have kept more cool, showed less frustration and paced less. (Im the pacer dad). I think the calmer the parent and coach, it helps the young pitcher maintain her composure. There will be tournaments she pitches horribly in, and DD gets yanked. As a parent, watching your DD can be extremely frustrating when she fails. Its part of the process and of course every kid is different, and in the long term it doesn't matter that much how she pitches in 12U. Be patient, be calm and supportive, its a roller coaster ride.


Also when choosing a pitching coach: Make sure the pitching coach teaches or works on mental skills and be wary if the coach tries to teach your DD 10 different pitches including 7 different ways to throw a changeup. You only need 3 or 4 pitches.

 

[catchermom13]

My daughter is almost 12 now and the main regret that I have is her 1st 10u travel team's HC's daughter was a pitcher. Never again will I pick a travel team where the HC has a kid that pitches. We learned that lesson the hard way.

I agree - somewhat. My dd played 1st year 10's and 12's on a team where both the hc and ac had pitcher daughters. They only put my dd in to clean up their messes, usually bases loaded and 2 outs or when we faced very good competition and they knew their dd's would get rocked. It was frustrating at the time but looking back it made her a pitcher who thrives under pressure and really has made her compete for her spot. I'll add to that that last summer as a first year 14 we faced their second year 14 team (two diff travel orgs) and beat the crap out of them! I'll be honest, that felt pretty good!

 

[JAD]

RIGHT! - When I stopped coaching I discovered this wonderful thing I never did before => become a true "fan" of my DD.

I helped coach my DD in TB and was "Just A Dad" (JAD) during HS ball....

 

[JAD]

Can you divulge your Pro's-Con's that have you conclude this?

I would estimate the pitcher attrition rate is @ 60-70% from 10U to 16U, therefore, there are a lot of pitchers that either quit pitching or quit softball all together. If someone knew their DD was going to quit pitching at say 14U, there are a lot of people who would rather she had never started....