how would you handle this?

[Amy in AZ.]

I feel that you are not a real coach if you are only coaching 9 of your players. They are all family. Sit some one else and get everyone as close to the same amount of innings as you can.

If someone is not cutting it, is likely to get hurt, or is goofing off, the family needs told so a resolution can be made. If not, all the coach is doing is making a bad name for him/herself. Girls join a team because they want to play. Too much time and $$$ is spent to sit the bench 99% of the time.

 

[iMlearning]

After about $1000.00 spent this weekend on travel etc My DD got to play in one game. She was dh in a few others and was 3 for 5 . This has been such a roller coaster ride. I think I'm ready to crack! Only thing keeping us going is knowing the head coach is getting the boot in August. It's going to be tough making it till then.
Good luck. It shouldn't be like this but it is very common apparently.

 

[plsjms94]

Update: We're done here. HC had committed to following up with me about DD's future on the team before the next game. Never happened. Instead he called another Mom on the team and asked her to go get a beer. Clearly my DD is not a priority on this team. I completely get that the coaches are responsible for the team and make decisions about playing time, etc. But I am responsible for the well-being of my DD and no longer believe the coaches have any committment to her. I think she is the "insurance policy" - the girl they can go to and stick in almost anywhere on the field if one of their "real" players gets hurt, needs a break, or needs some bench-time attitude adjusting.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

After about $1000.00 spent this weekend on travel etc My DD got to play in one game. She was dh in a few others and was 3 for 5 . This has been such a roller coaster ride. I think I'm ready to crack! Only thing keeping us going is knowing the head coach is getting the boot in August. It's going to be tough making it till then.
Good luck. It shouldn't be like this but it is very common apparently.

I am not aware of your complete situation and history with this HC , but DH is part of the game. May not be the role a player likes or thinks they deserve , but it does give them a chance to contribute to the team. Just give it all you got.

 

[iMlearning]

Looks like I'm in the same boat at JR10234. Basically feel at 13 years old, they need field time at least in pool play. Fortunately, we've been told that will change but are trying out for other teams just in case.

 

[MsDinosaur]

Sigh, yeah, I guess it's that time of year. DD went back to a college softball camp last week and had a great time. She said, "I had forgotten how much I love to play softball." That broke my heart.

She's on a TB team for crying out loud. Softball should be coming out her ears, but she isn't getting to play. A few innings here and there in RF and batting at or near the bottom of the lineup when they bat the roster, but sometimes not batting at all. In her words, "I suck at the outfield. If I have one bad at-bat, I'm right back to the bottom of the order, but so-and-so hasn't been hitting for months and she's still batting leadoff. He yells at me for every mistake, but other girls mess up and he never yells at them." I wouldn't have phrased it like that, but I've noticed the things she's saying.

In our tournament on Saturday, she had some nice hits and was praised for them. But come Sunday morning, she was neither in the field nor batting.

While her feet and ankles were resting, they were having her practice at second and she really likes it, but even on the rare occasions our starter isn't in, they've never let her play there. Not even one inning in a pool game. Neither when we were way ahead nor way behind. She caught a lot at softball camp and said she didn't have any problems, but they're not letting her catch either.

If this was someone else, I'd be suggesting that they look for another team for fall. I'm so sad; we thought this would be her "forever" team and I really like all the other parents. However, this isn't supposed to be a social club for me...

 

[Jr10234]

Dinosaur, reading your posts I'd swear our dd's were on the same team!
Learning, I've taken notes on the teams who use pick ups, have internal bickering and those who rotate players to develop well-rounded ball players. I know who I will let my DD play for and where we won't be seen.
We walk into games knowing we will 10-run a team and the only change is the pitcher. Bench players stay there. Not really coaching but their record looks good!

 

[lostbayou21]

I'm an assistant coach for a pretty good 12-U team (2000). My DD is a pitcher and an outfielder and bats 8th or 9th. If she played on our infield she would probably be our second best infielder. However, she is our BEST outfielder with good wheels, a solid glove and a great arm. She can play all three positions. She has the 3rd highest batting average on the team and is our number 2 pitcher. What I'm trying to say is, playing the outfield or batting late in the order may not be a coach penalizing your child. It may be strategic, with other infielders limited to just infield because of other shortcomings.

If you've talked to your coaches and if your daughter is still not getting the necessary time to develop, I would strongly consider finding a team that will give her that opportunity. Just know the grass is not always greener on the other side. Remember, it's only a team sport to the coach; it's an individual sport to the parent.

 

[quincy]

`I am responsible for the well-being of my DD and no longer believe the coaches have any committment to her.

Learned this the hard way too.

 

[fastpitchtwinz]

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