Bulldogs perhaps? If so, she has a good chance of getting it.
high school question
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Bulldogs perhaps? If so, she has a good chance of getting it.
While I am sure that I have been labeled a "psycho softball dad" by the high school coaching staff, I prefer that vs. watching them try to convert my DD back to a hello elbow style of pitching. Something that I spent a whole lot of time and money trying to correct.
sluggers,
I don't deny the value in teaching your kids to fight their own battles.
Two things, however.
First, your advice is NOT doing that. It is to smile and nod to your customer or boss, and do things the way you're going to do them anyway! Did you forget part (2) of your advice? In your words: "(a) for her to do what the coach asked a couple of times and then (2) promptly go back to her old method." This is what you defined as: "smile and nods" a lot."
The employees I deal with who "smile and nod" at me, and then "promptly go back to their old method," promptly don't come back to work. I'm sure that works great with customers though!
Point two: Life lessons don't always deal with bosses and customers, but with free associations like investments and actually being a customer. In this case we're not dealing with a hypothetical if/then, but since/therefore. Since we've invested good money in getting her lessons, since our tax dollars are paying you, the HS coach (add to that that dad is probably also forking over hefty pay to play fees), since there are other options (private schools, open enrollment, etc.), and since this is a trial run, so to speak (the season hasn't started), therefore I want to know if you're going to be reasonable and work with me, or if my investment and patronage should go elsewhere. I don't want it to go elsewhere, my preference is here, but I have a choice, will you work with me? If not, and I accept, then at least I know what I'm getting into - at that point I will have to accept the consequences (which doesn't mean smile and nod).
Again, this isn't a hypothetical: we have the facts. The coach has drawn the line in the sand with the DD: "This caused the coach to make it a point to yell out in frustration and told dd that if she didn't swing the way she was telling her to, she wouldn't get any playing time." This is completely unreasonable to me. The DD's recourses now are? It's not DD's dollars paying the HS coach and hitting instructor, mind you...
Where exactly is the, Suzy "promptly goes back to her old method"?
I don't deny the value in teaching your kids to fight their own battles.
Two things, however.
First, your advice is NOT doing that. It is to smile and nod to your customer or boss, and do things the way you're going to do them anyway! Did you forget part (2) of your advice? In your words: "(a) for her to do what the coach asked a couple of times and then (2) promptly go back to her old method." This is what you defined as: "smile and nods" a lot."
The employees I deal with who "smile and nod" at me, and then "promptly go back to their old method," promptly don't come back to work. I'm sure that works great with customers though!
Point two: Life lessons don't always deal with bosses and customers, but with free associations like investments and actually being a customer. In this case we're not dealing with a hypothetical if/then, but since/therefore. Since we've invested good money in getting her lessons, since our tax dollars are paying you, the HS coach (add to that that dad is probably also forking over hefty pay to play fees), since there are other options (private schools, open enrollment, etc.), and since this is a trial run, so to speak (the season hasn't started), therefore I want to know if you're going to be reasonable and work with me, or if my investment and patronage should go elsewhere. I don't want it to go elsewhere, my preference is here, but I have a choice, will you work with me? If not, and I accept, then at least I know what I'm getting into - at that point I will have to accept the consequences (which doesn't mean smile and nod).
Again, this isn't a hypothetical: we have the facts. The coach has drawn the line in the sand with the DD: "This caused the coach to make it a point to yell out in frustration and told dd that if she didn't swing the way she was telling her to, she wouldn't get any playing time." This is completely unreasonable to me. The DD's recourses now are? It's not DD's dollars paying the HS coach and hitting instructor, mind you...
Where exactly is the, Suzy "promptly goes back to her old method"?
So I have to ask, do you support the parent going to the coach as the initial starting point to discuss the issue with a HS coach? Or would your advice be to have the player speak to the coach first? IMO, parents need to stop fighting their kids battles for them in HS unless they need to step in because of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse.
I know this wasn't addressed to me, but no, not initially. There's a background, a context here though. My "terrible" advice was offered in this context.
Speaking from experience with 4 DD's I may facilitate the initial conversation. That seemed to be the most productive course of action. Much depends on age and personality. There is a big difference between a wet behind the ears 9th grader and a 12th grader who has played at 18U Gold Nationals.
I agree. I might be in the minority, but I would have no trouble going to bat for DD in this particular situation. The coach is being obnoxious, and the kid is a freshman. I would respectfully talk to the coach.
I think each situation is unique and there is not a "one size fits all" answer. My DD does not have years of active membership on DFP, so she is probably not qualified to argue the advantages of IR vs. HE with her HS coach, plus he is somewhat of a bully. I did not argue with him about playing time, position, or batting order....I just told him that I was paying instructors to teach my DD pitching and hitting mechanics and I would appreciate it if he would not do anything to contradict what I was paying someone else to do.
So this is an important thing here we should all consider. We all have our own experiences and our own prejudices when the topic of the "HS coach" comes up. Some have the experience that their DDs (real or imagined) have been bullied, whereas others come from the point of view that many HS coaches are not competent because theirs is an idiot (sorry if I am sounding too much like OILF here!
). Where I am coming from is that as a coach for a 14A team, I set the expectation for the players that they, not their parents, talk to me about practice and technique, playing time, etc. They can have their parents there to back them up and help them with the conversation, but I want the conversation with the player, not the parent, about what they want. It does not help the player if everything is going through the parent, because quite honestly, at 13/14/15 years old, what the parent wants for their kid and what the kid wants may be very different. This is an age when they need to learn these skills. HS sports is a good place to learn these skills and stand up for oneself. As I said, I'm all for the parent being there, but I want to hear from the one who is playing for me.
No, not in my experience. People are really more interested in results than the method used. If a person truly does do it better/cheaper "her way", then most bosses and customers don't care. Of course, if you do it "your way" and it isn't better/cheaper, then you are in real trouble.
In any event, I don't think you understand the situation. Go back and read the OP:
DD is *NOT* going to use the coach's method no matter what the coach says.
The coach is a former college player. She almost certainly knows more about the game than Daddy does...and probably more than Daddy's hitting coach. (Sure, she is wrong about "squishing the bug", but there is a whole lot more to being a successful hitter in college than the back foot.)
Your suggestion is for Daddy to tell the coach: (1) you don't know anything about hitting, (2) stop trying to change DD's hitting method, and (3) DD is going to do it her way. (Tell something like that to your boss/customer and see how long the relationship lasts.)
Daddy can try to sugar coat it. The coach, being a former player, is probably going to see through the BS in about 10 seconds.
If Daddy does that, and somehow the kid ends up starting, and the DD ends up in a hitting slump (which almost certainly will happen sooner or later), DD is going to find herself on the bench, and she will never get off the bench for the rest of the season.
If, on the other hand, DD does the "smile and nod" and she ends up in a hitting slump, DD can say, "Hey coach, I know...squish the bug! I'll do better!"
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