high school question

[boomer'sdad]

"The coach is a former college player. She almost certainly knows more about the game than Daddy does...and probably more than Daddy's hitting coach. (Sure, she is wrong about "squishing the bug", but there is a whole lot more to being a successful hitter in college than the back foot.)"

DD's hitting coach travels all over the country speaking on hitting, has written books on hitting, and has done camps at schools like LSU, Florida, etc. So I strongly believe his approach to hitting is way more reliable than her hs coach.

 

[boomer'sdad]

No, not in my experience. People are really more interested in results than the method used. If a person truly does do it better/cheaper "her way", then most bosses and customers don't care. Of course, if you do it "your way" and it isn't better/cheaper, then you are in real trouble.

In any event, I don't think you understand the situation. Go back and read the OP:

DD is *NOT* going to use the coach's method no matter what the coach says.

The coach is a former college player. She almost certainly knows more about the game than Daddy does...and probably more than Daddy's hitting coach. (Sure, she is wrong about "squishing the bug", but there is a whole lot more to being a successful hitter in college than the back foot.)

Your suggestion is for Daddy to tell the coach: (1) you don't know anything about hitting, (2) stop trying to change DD's hitting method, and (3) DD is going to do it her way. (Tell something like that to your boss/customer and see how long the relationship lasts.)

Daddy can try to sugar coat it. The coach, being a former player, is probably going to see through the BS in about 10 seconds.

If Daddy does that, and somehow the kid ends up starting, and the DD ends up in a hitting slump (which almost certainly will happen sooner or later), DD is going to find herself on the bench, and she will never get off the bench for the rest of the season.

If, on the other hand, DD does the "smile and nod" and she ends up in a hitting slump, DD can say, "Hey coach, I know...squish the bug! I'll do better!"

I definitely hear what you're saying, however. That's why this is a tough situation.

 

[CoogansBluff]

So this is an important thing here we should all consider. We all have our own experiences and our own prejudices when the topic of the "HS coach" comes up. Some have the experience that their DDs (real or imagined) have been bullied, whereas others come from the point of view that many HS coaches are not competent because theirs is an idiot (sorry if I am sounding too much like OILF here!).

Where I am coming from is that as a coach for a 14A team, I set the expectation for the players that they, not their parents, talk to me about practice and technique, playing time, etc. They can have their parents there to back them up and help them with the conversation, but I want the conversation with the player, not the parent, about what they want. It does not help the player if everything is going through the parent, because quite honestly, at 13/14/15 years old, what the parent wants for their kid and what the kid wants may be very different. This is an age when they need to learn these skills. HS sports is a good place to learn these skills and stand up for oneself. As I said, I'm all for the parent being there, but I want to hear from the one who is playing for me.

But this is not 'everything'. This is 'one particular' thing.

If you were teaching a technique that caused my DD to second-guess it, or to feel conflicted because it contradicted her coach or her parent, I would expect that she, at age 13+, could handle that. But if you screamed at her and told her that if she didn't renounce her paid hitting coach and do it your way that she wouldn't play, then that is no longer a ''technique'' issue. It is an ''I'm afraid to talk to this coach because he will yell and try to intimidate me'' issue. [I'm referencing the issue at hand and certainly don't think that you operate that way.]

I appreciate that coaches want to make players more responsible and act like adults. But they are not adults. They still need their parents. Not for everything, but for some things. Sometimes they need an advocate. So the question is whether this is one of those times. If my daughter asked for help in this one particular situation, I'd give it.

 

[sluggers]

I definitely hear what you're saying, however. That's why this is a tough situation.

No, not really. You are kind of making a mountain out of a molehill.

Ask your DD how much time the coach actually spends *individually* with her...I bet it is less than 5 minutes a practice. Some practices the coach spends no time with your DD individually. The HS coach with 15 kids on her hands, plus a ton of other administrative crap to do--she doesn't have the time.

So, I really doubt the coach is going to ruin your DD, especially if your DD is seeing her regular hitting coach during the season.

When the season starts, the coach will have little time for individual coaching. If your kid hits well in practice and during the season, the coach isn't going to care if she is squishing the bug, swatting at flies, or has an altar to Joboo in her locker.

 

[softball88]

My dd played varsity as a freshman last yr. I didn't agree with the varsity coaching style or teaching but my dd and I said nothing. I told her to smile, nod and try it. She did but she followed her tb coach teaching. I also told her not to get out worked. If you follow what he wants or not, just hustle, work and be coachable. She didn't play the first game of the season and she was frustrated. She asked why to the coach..he told her his reason. He told her to produce the 2nd game and she will play; she played every inning after. She produced and was 2nd in batting Ave with the 2nd most ab and she had the most hits.

This was at a private school. My dd and another girl made varsity because they showed up for every workout/ open gyms and out worked soph, jr and sr. When practices came they out worked them again. Other parents complained about them playing but they produced and out hustled others.

I know some where frustrated with me because I wouldn't talk bad about the coach. A sr's dad told me. Too bad. I wasn't going to fall into that trap. I learned my lesson years ago talking bad about coaches. I had parents coming up to me, why did he do that, that was dumb. I wouldn't say a word or just shrug my shoulders. If I did say something... It's his call or his style of coaching. (I was upset once with a game and said a few things but I got up and walked away. I am human.)

I talked to the hs coach 3 times...he asked me a question on 2 different occasions and another dad and I asked if he needed help raking the field after rain the night before.

I talk to her tb coach more....not about playing time. We talk more about how my dd is feeling or what he wants her to work on. We are a closer softball family. We are with tb team more. He's a very good coach and I trust him. I would let out some frustrations to the tb coach about high school but he would stay calm. He told me he would correct any problems. He did.

I guess my point is you can do more harm to your dd credibility and yours. It's hard...

 

[spleen1015]

You got lots of good advice here. I'm glad to not be in your shoes. My DD's hitting coach is also the hitting coach at the HS she'll attend in 2 years.

 

[Doug Romrell]

In DD's high school softball program, all but one player is from his private travelball organization. He's a daddy coach, and his travelball organization if filled with daddy coaches. Now I don't have a problem with his travelball organization being filled with daddy coaches, but I have a huge problem when the only daddy coach helpers in his high school program are daddy coaches from his private travelball organization. Oh, and did I mention that all but one player (freshman through senior) is from his private travelball organization. Oh, yes, I did mention that.

 

[indianafp]

In DD's high school softball program, all but one player is from his private travelball organization. He's a daddy coach, and his travelball organization if filled with daddy coaches. Now I don't have a problem with his travelball organization being filled with daddy coaches, but I have a huge problem when the only daddy coach helpers in his high school program are daddy coaches from his private travelball organization. Oh, and did I mention that all but one player (freshman through senior) is from his private travelball organization. Oh, yes, I did mention that.

How does that happen? We have rules in our state that you can have NO MORE than 5 girls on the same team from the same high school. AND during the months of March through End of season, they can only be at a lesson only if it is with another player from the same team. Anyone else is a no-no. But that is around here.

 

[Easton33]

How does that happen? We have rules in our state that you can have NO MORE than 5 girls on the same team from the same high school. AND during the months of March through End of season, they can only be at a lesson only if it is with another player from the same team. Anyone else is a no-no. But that is around here.

Different states, different rules. High Schools have their own TB teams around here. Not just 18u either, some school districts have 12u and up and it is exclusively for people from that area unless a stud pitcher or catcher want to join. Not school sanctioned of course but they get to use the schools facilities.