Hello everyone! I am new here and am in dire need of guidance and opinions! My daughter is almost 11 and started playing ball at 9. She currently plays on a 10U travel team. She has been doing great. Lately I have noticed that she has become very unmotivated. She doesn’t complain about going to practice and lessons but she hasn't been giving it her all the past few months. She says she wants to improve but she doesn't put in the extra work needed to get her to where she wants to be. I have noticed that this has now become a pattern with her every day life. She wants straight A’s but isn’t putting in the time to study and get there. She wants a clear face but doesn’t put in the effort to wash her face every night. I want to use the word lazy. She has developed these “lazy” habits and it is so frustrating. It’s a very bad pattern and I need to somehow break her of this cycle but I am not sure what to do. I’ve talked with her several times about how expensive this is and if she doesn’t want to give it her all then she needs to let me know. She insists that this is something she wants. I try to push her but it does no good when she isn’t pushing herself anymore. So what do I do?
I wouldn't label that as lazy. I think everybody will work hard if they believe their work will pay off in something they value.
If she's not working, it's one of two reasons, IMO - She doesn't think the extra work will lead to significantly better results, or she's not that passionate about being a good softball player, making straight A's and having a clear face as much as she says. Either way, she's figuring out what she wants and how much she's willing to invest. It's part of growing up and extends well into adulthood.
My advice would be to educate her on work/reward, but don't overdo it. Be careful that your own ambitions for her don't interfere with clear-thinking. And don't discuss money.
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