Does every player at some point just have THAT coach..

[BT3100]

They call this a re league? As in recreation? Sounds more like a torture chamber.

Fastpitch is a relatively difficult and perhaps even boring game for 12-year-olds at the rec level where pitchers are struggling. To compound that, your league is ensuring excessive boredom by setting up a league where for every at-bat, 10 players are on the field (1 batter, 9 fielders) and 20 kids are in the dugout. Sounds like an evil plot by the local soccer league to steer kids toward their sport.

This league needs to get a clue, make 4 teams, and get some help in developing pitchers. No wonder video games are so popular these days. Why depend on adults to provide entertainment when they think it's fun for kids to wait around and do almost nothing for 90 minutes on a softball field.

You make great points.
To be fair I will say that we struggled to find coaches and only ended up with 3 staffs as such we have three teams.
The teams are well balanced as we did assessments but the pitching talent in our area is limited. I have been helping the girls on our team, who want to learn, begin the process of learning to pitch. The problem is that we don't have practices.. We did have 4 before the first game but with the weather here we only were able to hold one practice.

 

[iMlearning]

rec ball

Our rec league had a rule that every player had to get at least 2 innings of play every game. We found out after DD was not getting playing time because the coach thought she would hurt someone... this was the year we switched to TB. The coach actually got suspended from coaching after he blew up at a meeting over the issue. We are actually pretty good friends now.

 

[BT3100]

Our rec league had a rule that every player had to get at least 2 innings of play every game. We found out after DD was not getting playing time because the coach thought she would hurt someone... this was the year we switched to TB. The coach actually got suspended from coaching after he blew up at a meeting over the issue. We are actually pretty good friends now.

Funny.. Last year our DD was 10 and we signed her up for minors. After tryouts the coaches approached me and my wife and said "We want to move your kid up to majors, were scared that she will hurt someone"

 

[GoCaboNow]

Yes. I've witnessed this for a variety of reasons. That's why it's important to find a good fit for your DD and her team.

Funny how important that "fit" can be. DD was the only pitcher on the first day of rec team practice. (Minors) We implored the team and came up with one volunteer to try it that had never pitched before. We need one more pitcher since just two will go over max inning rule on weeks we have three games. No takers and am not sure what we are going to do on those weeks??

Conversely, DD asked her ASA coach on the 2nd practice if she could pitch for the team. (brand new team, two tryouts to make the team.) Coach said the team already had 7 pitchers and had never seen her pitch or grouped her in with the pitchers for practice even though we had told her she was a pitcher, lessons et.) She did not get in the rotation for her first tournament which makes sense if the coach has never seen you pitch. Five pitchers warmed up, with four used in games. Apparently the coach new all of the kids from previous All Stars but DD was too young to play last year. After six weeks of practice, and continued persistance asking to pitch, she, finally, was able to do a little pitching on grass at a very infromal practice the coach had. Hopefully, that, and continued publicity from her rec pitching, will get her some consideration. Last rec game striking out 9 in three innings, allowing 2 runs via five walks. The opposing coaches told us they were a 2nd year minors team of mostly 10-11 year olds and they jokingly said they wanted to test 9 year old DD for steroids after the game.

Point being her rec team is hurting for pitching and her ASA has so many, she can't even get a tryout until six weeks in - lol!

 

[NoVA Softball]

I can think of lots of reasons how this could happen, and the answer may well be some combination of them (or heck, something completely different):
1. DD might actually be playing/sitting just as much as everyone else -- you probably notice your daughter sitting more readily than when/whether other kids are sitting. If your DD is a TB starter, you may not be used to "everyone who's trying gets an equal share of the PT" that is often a hallmark of Rec. If the roster is big, that can mean a lot of sitting for everyone
2. Coach has preconceived ideas that may take a long time to adjust. (You allude to this in your post @#3) Once you form an opinion, the data you let through your brain gets subconsciously filtered to meet your preconception; I know I've run stats for my rec team in the past and found myself shocked that a player I perceived as middle-of-the-road was actually my among my best hitters.
3. DD (or you) may be putting off an attitude or doing something that neither she nor you perceive, but the coach finds annoying. e.g. any sentence that begins "Well, on my travel ball team..." has the potential to ruffle feathers.
4. The coach may have a chip on his shoulder about TB players for some reason completely unrelated to anything you or your DD is doing
5. Daddy ball
6. A perception that she's not committed to the team and will bail the second her TB team calls. Have you told the coach that if there's a conflict your DD will be playing with her TB team? I assume that's what the TB coach expects. As a coach at any level, I'm more likely to reward players I perceive as committed. Almost by definition, this is your DD's #2 team.
7. Coach may be worried about managing other parents, who may well be on high alert that some high falutin' TB player is swooping in to take away their DD's PT
8. Despite being a TB starter, DD may not be as good as you think (not trying to be insulting, but parents are not known to be the best judges of their own DD's skills. I know in my area, but there are a lot more TB teams than there used to be and the difference between "C" level TB players and Rec players isn't always that great, especially at younger ages. Over time of course that gap widens)

 

[Strike2]

I wonder if this happens to every player at some point. There's just that coach that won't play them, no matter how hard that player works, practices and puts time in? This particular player plays on two teams, one team is a tournament team. Coaches have total confidence, player gets time. Other team is a rec team with lots of "daddy ball". Player sits. Attitude is not a problem. If anything player is too nice, maybe doesn't speak up enough?
Does this just happen sometimes? For whatever reason?

An odd situation. On most Rec teams, talent / ability, and sometimes a good attitude, clearly stands out from the herd. Attend practice, work hard, show improvement, and it's very hard to put that player on the bench. Show up with some already developed skills, and that kid quickly becomes part of the core.