Did you ever open your mouth, and a split second later wish you hadn't?

[JAD]

As Bill Engvall says..."You can't fix stupid." I, myself. have trouble daily keeping my mouth shut when it comes down to the idiots/coaches promoting 'hands to the ball swings.' It drives me insane.

I think Ron White get's credit for the "you can't fix stupid" quote...

 

[quincy]

Yes, sitting way out in LF umpire basically called me an idiot. They were correct, it settled me down a little bit.

The blind sob.

1. I was surprised they heard me
2. I was wrong

I am a good listener, your DD can throw in the 70 and hit 1000, I actually like listening it.

 

[ScottyDont]

Talking to the umpire after one of our team's games in Surf City last weekend...discussing our pitcher (not my DD).

Umpire: "Your pitcher throws very hard...I would say her fastball was in the 68-70 range"
Me: "Well, she throws well, but I don't know if I'd go that far"
Umpire: "Oh, I've seen a lot of pitchers, I'm sure she was that fast. In fact, the last batter she threw to, I'd say she was at least 80MPH"
Me: "OK, you got me, very funny"
Umpire: "No no, I'm serious, it was at least 80, maybe even faster"
Me: "OK terrific"

 

[chinamigarden]

Talking to the umpire after one of our team's games in Surf City last weekend...discussing our pitcher (not my DD).

Umpire: "Your pitcher throws very hard...I would say her fastball was in the 68-70 range"
Me: "Well, she throws well, but I don't know if I'd go that far"
Umpire: "Oh, I've seen a lot of pitchers, I'm sure she was that fast. In fact, the last batter she threw to, I'd say she was at least 80MPH"
Me: "OK, you got me, very funny"
Umpire: "No no, I'm serious, it was at least 80, maybe even faster"
Me: "OK terrific"

Why it was so fast that last ball I called, I didn't see it, but it sounded low.

 

[smddad]

I think they need to take their radar gun off of KPH and put it back on MPH.

57MPH = 92KPH

 

[coach james]

Maybe the gun did say 92mph.....this is of course with the famous "radar grandpa" working the gun!

 

[quincy]

I was talking to a very nice person that works on our fields. He asked what Team DD was on.

Me: She is the #1 pitcher on Bob’s Team
Him: I didn’t know you were Sally’s dad
Me: I am not.

 

[inthunder]

I say daily, my wife says hourly

 

[Lickety Split]

Its happened to me, more times then I could count. And it happened today.

I'm at a funeral home to visit some friends of mine whose father just passed. I am standing talking to one of my friends when a lady walks up to express her condolences. The lady has a cast on her arm and my friend says "I hope that's not your pitching arm" and she says, no but it is the arm my daughter pitches with. My friend says, oh do you you take it off and give it to her... ha ha...

So she laughs and then says, but seriously my dd is an excellent pitcher, at this point I am just listening. Out of no where she says "My dd's pitch was once measured at (I'm thinking to myself her it comes) 92 MPH. I actually chuckled and said you must mean 62 MPH. As soon as I started talking I started thinking shut up shut up shut up. But no I completed the sentence, to which she says, oh no it might even have been 95.

Do I shut up, no with nothing to gain I say, well the fastest pitch ever by a woman was in the Mid 70s. Again my inner dialogue is saying shut up shut up... And she says, no no she threw it in the 90s...

At this point I gained control of myself and said "Well you must be very proud"

Perhaps dyslexia? Or she had the gun upside down. 56 upside down looks like 95

 

[KCPRK]

Your gifted with a BS detector