A Softball dad's confession (My personnal experiance)

[ASA-CROSSFIRE-12U]

I agree with you redhotcoach! Have the same little demon in my head! Great post. I coach a 12U team along with my DD playing on the team and she is a 10 year old and as tall as a 14 year old. So I have it double hard! My DD give 110% all of the time weather practicing on the field or off the field practicing at home pitching or hitting into the batting cage. So last weeks game we totally got it handed to us 0 to 15! Never in my coaching years have I had my team show up and not play hard, and get spanked like that. I had 4 out of my 12 girls play hard. I tried everything the get them into the game. After the games are over I have a short team meeting with the girls just my AC, Me and the team ask how they feel, how they did and what not. Well this week I was at such a loss for words, I told my team at the after game meeting "see you tomorrow night at practice" and that was all I could say. Parents even said that was the best thing I could have said to the girls that night. DD and I got in the truck to come home and the "water works" started without me even saying anything. So I calmly asked her what was the matter and you would of thought her whole word crashed down on her. All she could say is " I am the youngest on the team and I try my hardest every day all the time why don't everyone else?" All I could say to her was I was proud of the way she pitched and hit and fielded, just had to tell her to keep up the good work and to be proud and hold her head up high. After talking while on the way home she settled down and the water works stopped and she got real quiet. We got home and was unloading the gear she stopped and said "Dad the important thing is I play because I love the game, and the other part I get to see you smile and cheer me on when I give my best!" "And mom to" As a 10 year old saying that makes me think they grow up way to fast! Made me a very proud dad and coach that night!

Very great posts by everyone!

Thanks from Idaho! !

 

[quincy]

DD is creating a dust cloud with her back foot when she pitches. We have been working on her getting more on her toe. I explained to the HC what we were working on and he yelled to her be light on your foot. First thing she said when we got in the car: You had the HC yell at me didn’t you?

I am a bad dad and wish I could get the thought out of the HC’s head.

 

[3'sDad]

Thoughts from a 14U dad:

The best advice given to me was from DD's club coach 2 years ago..."unless she brings up the game/tournament don't talk about softball on the ride home. If/when she wants to say something it will come out - it may take a day or two." Also -"please don't coach from the stands - we want the players to hear us - they all immediately know and hear your voice."

Yes- that is very good advice but very difficult to follow. We all want to get out of our systems instructions on the field or find out what happened. The DD wants to move onto the next thing, softball is done. It kills me to not yell when she is playing but the coach is correct; DD will hear my voice over the coaches and I'm not her coach.

DD's team played this weekend in an event in the next state. Not her best weekend (not her worst), but she has final exams this week and has been up late studying and preparing and I'm sure had multiple demons running around in her head. She pitched game 3 Saturday afternoon against a well known regional team; didn't get out of the 2nd inning. It wasn't all her fault but some was.

I asked her in the car if she just had a bad pitching day; she said " Dad, I threw the pitches to where they were called. I hit my spots and my pitches were working, they just hit them." It happens. On to the next event.

 

[ahiggins1804]

Update from from DD and me. The last couple of weeks have been great. Every since my attitude change I've seen a big change in her performance and overall joy. It's nice to see that she is now wanting to go that extra mile and wants me there helping her, before she always wanted to work at home but didn't like to and it was a battle to get her motivated, (I believe that my negative attitude had a lot to do with this) Lately every evening when I get home she is waiting on me in the back yard and is ready to start working on what she feels like she needs help on.

Her batting averge has went up 237 points in 13 games since I changed my ways! To me it seems that she is understanding what I'm teaching her better now that both her and I have a clear head when practicing at home.

 

[NVfishing]

This is a great thread.

I keep my mouth shut for the most part. Hard to be quiet all the time. My DD was nervous in a game last week. I think she felt pressure for the first time in a game. I could see it in her and I was trying to encourage her to relax. Hard to do when they are pitching and the coaches are yelling not to worry but then wanting a K.

 

[quincy]

For some reason this came up in the ride back from the game this morning. I mentioned to DD and wife that a particular player would pitch better if everyone would stop yelling at her and she just threw the ball hard. DD said “They are like you were last year when I pitched”. Ouch!

 

[Dana Marque]

This was great and please know that other are in the same shoes... I know the one game in particular that my DD was upset because someone said they didn't like her. As adult, who cares but at 11 yo, she took it on the mound with her. She couldn't get a strike to save her life... Her father was so upset and she could tell by his body language. The poor girl was crying on the mound. I had to step in at one point because I just couldn't take it. I explained he couldn't talk to her when she got home but not to do it in front of her friends.

Once we all got home and he understood why she wasn't pitching her best, he asked that we all make a pack to tell each other if there is a problem - specifically before a game. He also agreed to never act that way again. It seemed to pay off as they ended up coming in 1st place with a few very tight moments but no moment like what we saw during the one game... Her average for rec was 238 batters - 105 strikeouts and 45 walks (9 of which were from the one game she couldn't get a strike). But damn - it's nail bitting when your DD is a pitcher...

 

[3'sDad]

Dana: There is nothing worse than being the parent of a fastpitch pitcher, nothing, as the game is so pitcher-centric. When DD 1st began to pitch we used to track success by:
1. did you throw 60% of your pitches for strikes? If yes , the game was going to not be a walk-fest.
2. As they get older its, - did you hit your spots?
3. Did the CU work?
4 Are your movement pitches working?
5. Did you adjust to the umpires strike zone.

If the answer is yes to the questions above, the outing was a good one. Sometimes you do all 5 and your team doesn't score any runs or makes a physical/mental mistake and you don't win, but that's part of the game.

Best of luck to you.

 

[BradB41]

Awesome post! Last week in the car, I knew I shouldn't say anything.....I even thought "this is a demon in my head" I was fighting with, why do I want to talk about the game so bad? I love this girl more then anything, if I talk about the game, it is going to hurt her. I fought in my head for about 20 miles, then opened my stupid effin mouth.

WOW....sounds exactly like my experience last week. Then we had a run in last night while practicing. This is a great post and I need to keep my mouth shut.

 

[Dana Marque]

3'sDad -

Thank you... At least I know I'm not alone... I still have many years ahead of me (so I hope).. Knowing that all you parents are biting your nails as well is very comforting!!! Good luck to you as well!!

But if you have any tips on how to get them to hit the umpires stike zone, please share... We haven't really needed that during rec but I think I may need advice for summer ball/tournaments. She's a low / corner pitcher. Last year she had one umpire that wouldn't give her a strike at all. Even the other teams coaches were questioning his calls (rare moment but she was playing on 10U)...