17yr. Old wants to return after having baby

[JJS]

Don't ask anyone in the organization for permission. Do what you believe is right. If the girl can give the same commitment to the team and the game then she should have the chance to play.

 

[parrot]

We have a junior who just returned to our high school team after missing her sophomore season to have a baby. Good kid and was a very good player as a freshman. Had some trepidation wondering how the year off and new responsibilities would affect her. Physically she's great and she's actually more focused than she was before. Great in the dugout. I think she really appreciates being able to play again. Her and my freshman DD have become pretty good friends. I don't really worry about the fact that she has a baby. Hopefully she's more of a cautionary tale for the rest of the girls, and if she somehow has some undue influence on my DD that just means I haven't done my job as a parent very well, IMO.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Really late to this thread ... busy weekend ... so sorry that I am adding my $0.02 sort of after the fact.

However, although I have nothing to add in terms of advice for our OP that already hasn't been said, I just wanted to let everyone here know that it warms my heart that so many of you came to this girl's defense and wanted to give her a chance. I think you all have the moral and ethical standards that I would hope all good people have and that I hope all softball people have in particular. There really is hope for our world.

One last thing to add: Coaching softball is a huge part of my life and a passion I enjoy SO much. It gives me far more rewards than I think is fair and sometimes I feel I don't have the right to enjoy something so much that is actually a privilege to be able to do. If this situation were mine, I would simply put the girl on my team and start figuring out how to make it all work. Just like in coaching, new situations call for new thought processes and new solutions and I would be eager to tackle this and make something work for this girl and all the other girls on the team. If my beloved organization didn't like it, as much as I love the game and coaching it at the highest levels, they'd have to relieve me of my duties if they wanted to make her go away, because the only way they would be able to do it is over my dead body.

Sometimes, the lessons taught to our youngsters are far more important than our own personal satisfaction and self-actualization. This is one of those times.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

BTW, OP ..... please give that girl my love and tell her I respect the hell out of what she's doing. You tell her there is an old softball coach out there rooting for her.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Oh, and one more thing to the OP ..... on the matter of morals and ethics:

Tell your org that we as softball coaches and organizations are not here to take a dump on girls' dreams. We are here to help them make their dreams come true.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Hopefully she's more of a cautionary tale for the rest of the girls, and if she somehow has some undue influence on my DD that just means I haven't done my job as a parent very well, IMO.

There is no reason why she can't have a positive influence on your DD, as well. If she is a good kid, she's a good kid....with or without a baby.

 

[grcsftbll]

As a parent I would not be at all concerned about my daughter's being "influenced" by her. Being a parent is SO HARD. I think having a friend dealing with those realities would, if anything, makes them less likely to end up in that situation.

Not only that, it is not a death sentence. One of my best friends ever had her son as a single mom at age 19. It was hard and there were many downsides. But she got through college, raised an amazing person (he's 19 now), and is one of the most smart and successful people I know. It's not ideal to end up in that situation but it also does not have to be the end of a person's life. I'm pretty sure if she could go back, she'd not change it. It made her into who she is today and she's pretty darn amazing.

 

[jrpromax]

As a parent I would not be at all concerned about my daughter's being "influenced" by her. Being a parent is SO HARD. I think having a friend dealing with those realities would, if anything, makes them less likely to end up in that situation.

Not only that, it is not a death sentence. One of my best friends ever had her son as a single mom at age 19. It was hard and there were many downsides. But she got through college, raised an amazing person (he's 19 now), and is one of the most smart and successful people I know. It's not ideal to end up in that situation but it also does not have to be the end of a person's life. I'm pretty sure if she could go back, she'd not change it. It made her into who she is today and she's pretty darn amazing.

I am not judging the girl here at all. Sounds like she is a good kid, engaged to her babies father, plans to start a family, great, I truly wish her the best. One thing I don't see in any of these posts are, what about the baby? Like grcsftbll said, "Being a parent is SO HARD." And that is very true. Its tough and you have to give up a lot. I am sure must of you are like me that I have to give up a lot for my daughter to play travel softball. I shouldn't even say a lot, it is more like EVERYTHING. But that's what parents do. We give it all up for our kids and are happy to do so. I don't think anyone is being sexist, or a double standard or any of that. I think most of us can relate to the fact of how can you possibly be a travel softball player and a mom at the same time. They both are full time jobs. If you give to one the other suffers and the other one suffering in this case is a baby. Not saying she should give up softball, I am sure there are rec leagues she can go have a lot of fun in and still play. But being a mom and being there for you baby has to come first. Oh, and the same goes for the dad in this case and more so if the roles were reversed for the dad.

 

[grcsftbll]

I wonder how Jennie Finch managed (manages) all that she does as a mom and softball player (just to name one). How does anyone with a demanding job also parent?

 

[Eric F]

I am not judging the girl here at all. Sounds like she is a good kid, engaged to her babies father, plans to start a family, great, I truly wish her the best. One thing I don't see in any of these posts are, what about the baby? Like grcsftbll said, "Being a parent is SO HARD." And that is very true. Its tough and you have to give up a lot. I am sure must of you are like me that I have to give up a lot for my daughter to play travel softball. I shouldn't even say a lot, it is more like EVERYTHING. But that's what parents do. We give it all up for our kids and are happy to do so. I don't think anyone is being sexist, or a double standard or any of that. I think most of us can relate to the fact of how can you possibly be a travel softball player and a mom at the same time. They both are full time jobs. If you give to one the other suffers and the other one suffering in this case is a baby. Not saying she should give up softball, I am sure there are rec leagues she can go have a lot of fun in and still play. But being a mom and being there for you baby has to come first. Oh, and the same goes for the dad in this case and more so if the roles were reversed for the dad.

Based on the information we have from the OP, it sounds like the mom has a good family support system. You're right that travel ball and being a parent are both full time jobs. I know more than a few people who work full time jobs and are great parents.

From the description, this girl is a little more than a rec league player...even if she could find a rec league with an 18U team.