No, I am not a troll. The situation is very real! It was not a stand alone decision on my part to allow her to return or not. Two weeks after finding out she was pregnant, the organization called a meeting of all coaches (10u-18u) to discuss the matter. I personally am not opposed to her returning to our team, but I was fighting an uphill battle with the other coaches. Their reasoning behind the decision was because they didn't want the other girls in the organization to think that this was acceptable behavior and that it would reflect negatively on the club. That is why I'm here asking this question. I want to know if this is a common way of thinking about the subject, and also to receive some input on how to approach this again with the other coaches. The athlete is a good girl caught up in a bad situation. She has a strong family support system and is now engaged to her boyfriend of 2 years, the baby's father. She has completed her junior year, and has taken extra classes online so that she doesn't have to attend school all day in her senior year. She has plans and goals, and I believe she can achieve them with or without softball. She just loves the game and wants to show other girls that they can succeed if they try, no matter the barriers put in front of them. I realize I didn't make it clear that I do not agree with their decision. I came to this forum to make sure I was thinking about this in the right manner. This forum has helped tremendously with all the comments and I will approach the organization again on her behalf. To be honest, if they can not see their ignorance, I may be looking to coach elsewhere.
17yr. Old wants to return after having baby
- Thread starter Delantex
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Delantex - Props to you for sticking up for her, and I hope you continue to do so.
IMO, not allowing her to return reflects a lot more negatively on the organization than the bull$#!+ notion that her return would somehow encourage other players to make the choice to get pregnant. Welcoming her back isn't promoting teen pregnancy, it's being compassionate towards someone who made a mistake.
IMO, not allowing her to return reflects a lot more negatively on the organization than the bull$#!+ notion that her return would somehow encourage other players to make the choice to get pregnant. Welcoming her back isn't promoting teen pregnancy, it's being compassionate towards someone who made a mistake.
Last edited:
- May 17, 2012
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Tell them it isn't contageuos.
I would resign as coach if they didn't let her play. I would burn every bridge on the way out. Use it as a your last chance to teach a life lesson in leadership to your team.
It's easy to approach this again with the other coaches. If the organization thinks they have a good reputation now, what will it be like after this girl and her family trash them in the local press and the story goes viral on social media? That's a valid question to be asking them and a very real concern they should have. Point them to this thread about all of the comments and opinions and how it shows that 100% of us believe that this is poor judgment on their part. If they still can't see the error in their ways, then pull as many from the team as you can get to go with you and as many of the other coaches and their players as they can get and threaten to leave. Nothing like hitting them in their pocketbook to make them realize how badly they may be behaving. Just be prepared to do so if they call you on it. Also tell them that many of us across the nation would like you to tell them on our behalf to pull their heads out of their a$$e$!!
These situations make me so sad. By the age of 18 more than half of teenagers have had sex. People act like it's only the small percentage of girls who get caught. They are then treated like 2nd class citizens for making the choice to carry a baby to term. I'm really happy to see most responses here are supporting the girl.
I scared the posts and I agree with the majority.
What always comes to my mind is another post, hitting against pregnant P.
Not going to happen.
What always comes to my mind is another post, hitting against pregnant P.
Not going to happen.
.
Ask them if were they celibate at her age or just quicker on the draw.
If the organization thinks that the 18U players aren't talking about sex then they are naive. Being on a softball team with supportive teammates will positively impact the new mom and having a supportive coach will help her self esteem. Just think what a college offer would do for this new family. A D1 school would be difficult but what about a JUCO? And I agree with the comments about discrimination. The dad part of teen parents often walk away with no repercussions and they are as much a part of the situation as the moms. She is living with the results of her actions, how about help instead of judge?
This one hits me right square in the feels for 2 reasons:
1) My then GF (now DW) was 20 when she became pregnant with DD1. At that time, she was playing at a local juco with some prospects to transfer, possibly DI or DII. She was good. She stopped playing, and after DD1 was born, about a year and a half later, went to another juco and focused on transferring, and she wasn't thinking about playing ball anymore. She had to take a PE class, so she took tennis. At her first class, she kept launching the tennis ball out of the court, and the tennis coach asked if she played softball. Next thing we know, she had a tryout with the school's team and was quickly made the starting catcher and batting 3rd. We were fortunate to have strong support from our parents, and we have pictures of DD1 running on the field with DW and her team as we followed the team around to most of their games. It wasn't easy, though. I was working full-time and going to school as well, but we were still a young family with few bills, mostly rent and food, so we were able to pull it off. It was an experience unlike any other. When it came time to transfer, I asked DW if she wanted to try walking-on, since her current HC was encouraging her to try and would set up a tryout for her, but she didn't want to be away from DD1 when the team would travel, so she hung it up. She now states that her biggest regret is not trying to walk-on.
2) So now we've come full circle. DW and I are in our first year coaching DD1's HS varsity team. We are aware of a senior that didn't play last year. She had a child after her sophomore season, and was now returning for one last season. To say she is talented is an understatement. I used to think DW had the strongest arm I'd ever seen in person; not anymore. Some juco coaches were at a recent game scouting players from the other team, and they approached her after the game and offered her on the spot. DW and I met with her and her mom recently to encourage her to pursue this (she thought she couldn't play in college because of her child), shared our experience, and to offer to help in anyway we can. At this moment, she is likely headed to one of the stronger (academically) juco's in our area, with a great reputation of preparing their students for the rigors of a university. The coach has already told us she'd be their starting catcher. They are a strong softball program, and we believe they'll get her in front of the right people looking for a transfer in 2 years.
Delantex, please keep on supporting this girl. You have an opportunity to positively influence a few lives. This is why we do what we do.
1) My then GF (now DW) was 20 when she became pregnant with DD1. At that time, she was playing at a local juco with some prospects to transfer, possibly DI or DII. She was good. She stopped playing, and after DD1 was born, about a year and a half later, went to another juco and focused on transferring, and she wasn't thinking about playing ball anymore. She had to take a PE class, so she took tennis. At her first class, she kept launching the tennis ball out of the court, and the tennis coach asked if she played softball. Next thing we know, she had a tryout with the school's team and was quickly made the starting catcher and batting 3rd. We were fortunate to have strong support from our parents, and we have pictures of DD1 running on the field with DW and her team as we followed the team around to most of their games. It wasn't easy, though. I was working full-time and going to school as well, but we were still a young family with few bills, mostly rent and food, so we were able to pull it off. It was an experience unlike any other. When it came time to transfer, I asked DW if she wanted to try walking-on, since her current HC was encouraging her to try and would set up a tryout for her, but she didn't want to be away from DD1 when the team would travel, so she hung it up. She now states that her biggest regret is not trying to walk-on.
2) So now we've come full circle. DW and I are in our first year coaching DD1's HS varsity team. We are aware of a senior that didn't play last year. She had a child after her sophomore season, and was now returning for one last season. To say she is talented is an understatement. I used to think DW had the strongest arm I'd ever seen in person; not anymore. Some juco coaches were at a recent game scouting players from the other team, and they approached her after the game and offered her on the spot. DW and I met with her and her mom recently to encourage her to pursue this (she thought she couldn't play in college because of her child), shared our experience, and to offer to help in anyway we can. At this moment, she is likely headed to one of the stronger (academically) juco's in our area, with a great reputation of preparing their students for the rigors of a university. The coach has already told us she'd be their starting catcher. They are a strong softball program, and we believe they'll get her in front of the right people looking for a transfer in 2 years.
Delantex, please keep on supporting this girl. You have an opportunity to positively influence a few lives. This is why we do what we do.
This says it all, right here. If the other "coaches" can't understand this, I wouldn't waste that word on them.
Coaching isn't just about the game, it's about life. If I had my daughter in this organization, and they denied this girl an opportunity, I'd be out of there in a heart-beat!
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